Church callers & callees lacking inspiration

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_MormonMendacity
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Church callers & callees lacking inspiration

Post by _MormonMendacity »

I had a lot of callings in the Church and, like most people I believe, really tried to do a good job. I didn't like many of them, but one that I loved -- and at the time think I did pretty well at -- was "Ward Chorister".

I loved it. It was fun to pick the songs for Church and select special musical numbers -- by inspiration. I really enjoyed the music...not that I'm particularly talented in that way (I played instruments in band and the orchestra growing up and sang in the Ward Choirs next to my father) but it was fun calling and easy...so that was a real plus.

One day I got really, really, really, really inspired and felt that a brother in the Ward should sing a solo. I had no idea how well he sang. He sang in the choir and -- in the group -- he sounded pretty good, I thought.

Well, when he did his number on us -- it was Abide With Me -- it was the most horrible and embarrassing thing I have ever heard! People were shaking their heads and laughing. He got flustered, lost his place and finally, after many torturous minutes, finished up.

I could not apologize enough to him. I suggested that it wasn't as bad as all that, that the Lord was pleased, that he was flustered...any reason I could think of. Everyone in the Ward was very kind and supportive but I was humiliated for him. I did not see that one coming.

I bring this up because of this link somone sent to me.O Holy Night

(You're going to want to click on the audio link about halfway down the page...and make sure no one is around to hear it. It's G-rated...but...oh...my...gosh!)

Merry Christmas!
"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder" --Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager
Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.
Religion is ignorance reduced to a system.
_Runtu
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Post by _Runtu »

Once I was in a ward choir wherein I was the only male. Usually it wasn't so bad, but once we opened the music sheet in practice, and I saw that the entire first verse was marked "Men: Unison." It was excruciating. Fortunately, two other guys joined the choir before my extended solo went public.
_Dr. Shades
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Post by _Dr. Shades »

Folks, you really need to click on MormonMendacity's link and listen to the song there. It's got to be the single funniest 3 minutes that ever transpired in any church, ever.

I first heard it about a year ago and had diaphragm spasms from laughing so hard.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_Bond...James Bond
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Joined: Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:49 am

Post by _Bond...James Bond »

Dr. Shades wrote:Folks, you really need to click on MormonMendacity's link and listen to the song there. It's got to be the single funniest 3 minutes that ever transpired in any church, ever.

I first heard it about a year ago and had diaphragm spasms from laughing so hard.


That's pretty bad. [correction really bad] Alright, I'm still laughing as I type; I can't type anymore but lets just say this is hilarious. It's DEEEvvvinnneeeeeeehaEEE!!!!

But how does he compare to Bill Shatner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVbv6r_t ... cket%20Man


Bond
Last edited by QuestionEverything on Sat Dec 09, 2006 7:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"Whatever appears to be against the Book of Mormon is going to be overturned at some time in the future. So we can be pretty open minded."-charity 3/7/07
_Jason Bourne
_Emeritus
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Re: Church callers & callees lacking inspiration

Post by _Jason Bourne »

MormonMendacity wrote:I had a lot of callings in the Church and, like most people I believe, really tried to do a good job. I didn't like many of them, but one that I loved -- and at the time think I did pretty well at -- was "Ward Chorister".

I loved it. It was fun to pick the songs for Church and select special musical numbers -- by inspiration. I really enjoyed the music...not that I'm particularly talented in that way (I played instruments in band and the orchestra growing up and sang in the Ward Choirs next to my father) but it was fun calling and easy...so that was a real plus.

One day I got really, really, really, really inspired and felt that a brother in the Ward should sing a solo. I had no idea how well he sang. He sang in the choir and -- in the group -- he sounded pretty good, I thought.

Well, when he did his number on us -- it was Abide With Me -- it was the most horrible and embarrassing thing I have ever heard! People were shaking their heads and laughing. He got flustered, lost his place and finally, after many torturous minutes, finished up.

I could not apologize enough to him. I suggested that it wasn't as bad as all that, that the Lord was pleased, that he was flustered...any reason I could think of. Everyone in the Ward was very kind and supportive but I was humiliated for him. I did not see that one coming.

I bring this up because of this link somone sent to me.O Holy Night

(You're going to want to click on the audio link about halfway down the page...and make sure no one is around to hear it. It's G-rated...but...oh...my...gosh!)

Merry Christmas!


Wow. FUNNY!!! BAD!! My 11 year old daughter, who is very musically inclined just said "DAD!!! WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TOO!!!" We had a good laugh.
_Notoriuswun
_Emeritus
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Joined: Sat Dec 02, 2006 4:44 am

Post by _Notoriuswun »

This thread should be subtitled: A mick jagger Christmas.
_Roger Morrison
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Re: Church callers & callees lacking inspiration

Post by _Roger Morrison »

MormonMendacity wrote:I had a lot of callings in the Church and, like most people I believe, really tried to do a good job. I didn't like many of them, but one that I loved -- and at the time think I did pretty well at -- was "Ward Chorister".

I loved it. It was fun to pick the songs for Church and select special musical numbers -- by inspiration. I really enjoyed the music...not that I'm particularly talented in that way (I played instruments in band and the orchestra growing up and sang in the Ward Choirs next to my father) but it was fun calling and easy...so that was a real plus.

One day I got really, really, really, really inspired and felt that a brother in the Ward should sing a solo. I had no idea how well he sang. He sang in the choir and -- in the group -- he sounded pretty good, I thought.

Well, when he did his number on us -- it was Abide With Me -- it was the most horrible and embarrassing thing I have ever heard! People were shaking their heads and laughing. He got flustered, lost his place and finally, after many torturous minutes, finished up.

I could not apologize enough to him. I suggested that it wasn't as bad as all that, that the Lord was pleased, that he was flustered...any reason I could think of. Everyone in the Ward was very kind and supportive but I was humiliated for him. I did not see that one coming.

I bring this up because of this link somone sent to me.O Holy Night

(You're going to want to click on the audio link about halfway down the page...and make sure no one is around to hear it. It's G-rated...but...oh...my...gosh!)

Merry Christmas!

"WOW!!!" THAT is fuunnnyyy! Thanks for the link. Ya got any more? My wife wonders if anyone has links to LDS comedy?
She was in SL a few years ago at some convention that had an LDS comedian after the formal stuff. She still cracks up just thinking about it... Any leads will give me MANY needed points.

About your "Abide With Me" soloist. Did the guy think he was good, could do it? Or is this a classic case of blind obedience to an "Authority Figure" no matter what level?
_MormonMendacity
_Emeritus
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Joined: Wed Nov 15, 2006 12:56 am

Re: Church callers & callees lacking inspiration

Post by _MormonMendacity »

Roger Morrison wrote:About your "Abide With Me" soloist. Did the guy think he was good, could do it? Or is this a classic case of blind obedience to an "Authority Figure" no matter what level?

I think he was an average singer and I think he was terribly nervous. I think that's one of those situations where he probably should have told me he'd never done it before and wanted to have a few rehersals with feedback before accepting.

But I do also think that the silly "blind obedience" played into it since he accepted it immediately.
"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder" --Homer Simpson's version of Pascal's Wager
Religion began when the first scoundrel met the first fool.
Religion is ignorance reduced to a system.
_OUT OF MY MISERY
_Emeritus
Posts: 922
Joined: Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:32 pm

Post by _OUT OF MY MISERY »

I heard you are never to say no to a church calling no matter what and no matter how many you already have..

Saying no is big sin...is that right
When I wake up I will be hungry....but this feels so good right now aaahhhhhh........
_Gazelam
_Emeritus
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Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 2:06 am

MM

Post by _Gazelam »

That was too funny, thanks for sharing.

Bond,
I love Shatner singing (the cigarrette was a nice touch) in small doses, has he ever sung Van Morrisons - "Moondance"?

Image
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato
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