Flawed Patriarchal Blessings

[_MormonMendacity]

I suppose with my present beliefs about Mormonism I could be accused of just nit-picking everything now. I hope that's not the case.

I used the PB I received at fourteen as a basis for many of the decisions I made in my life -- from going on a mission to accepting every calling in the Church that was offered me. Many times I felt unprepared and struggled being "valiant" but I found tremendous solace in my PB because it held a lot of promise for me if I would remain faithful.

One of the things it admonished me to do was this:

When it comes time to enter into that matrimonial bond, choose for yourself a daughter of God, one who loves the Lord and loves to keep his commandments. Then, go to the temple of the Lord and there lay for yourselves a foundation that will last throughout the eternities.

I did just that. I found an active Latter-day Saint young woman, prayed about whether she was my eternal mate, got the confirmation, took her to the temple and entered into "that matrimonial bond".

When I finally realized that no amount of dedication to my marriage would result in my happiness, I finally had to end it. It was a very sad day...week...month...years. I did not lay for myself a foundation that lasted throughout the eternities, instead, I stayed in a marriage that joined two people based upon the standard "that we loved the Lord and loved to keep his commandments".

I now believe my patriarchal blessing gave me a very bad recommendation. I now believe that there are many things that go into a successful relationship but, for me, having a companion that "...loves the Lord and loves to keep his commmandments" is fairly low on the totem pole.

Am I to blame for this? What do you think? (And I will appreciate the comments from believers, too.)

[_Runtu]

I had an interesting experience a couple of months ago. My patriarchal blessing contained some things that I considered highly personal and sacred, and someone on RfM was asking about "generic" patriarchal blessings, so I summarized what I thought were the nongeneric parts of my blessing. I got an email from my stake president's son, which quoted almost verbatim the personal sections of my patriarchal blessing. Of course, we received our blessings from the same patriarch, though almost a year apart. I was kind of disappointed, and so was he.

[_MormonMendacity]

I had an interesting experience a couple of months ago. My patriarchal blessing contained some things that I considered highly personal and sacred, and someone on RfM was asking about "generic" patriarchal blessings, so I summarized what I thought were the nongeneric parts of my blessing. I got an email from my stake president's son, which quoted almost verbatim the personal sections of my patriarchal blessing. Of course, we received our blessings from the same patriarch, though almost a year apart. I was kind of disappointed, and so was he.

So...what you got was a form letter? I wonder how many were/are like that?

Here's another part from mine...I hope this isn't in yours, too.

Young man, you are living in a troubled world. There is but one safe course for you to follow: dedicate your life to the service of the Lord, then, come what may, the overruling Providence of the Lord will be with you and your life will be precious in his sight.

I think it would be interesting to see if there is a template that was generally followed in PBs from specific patriarchs.

[_Runtu]

I don't know that it was a form letter, but we both are convinced that he used "stock phrases" in his blessings. I suspect we'd find common promises in each patriarch's blessings. It's just the nature of doing something regularly. It does kind of blow a hole in the "inspiration" theory, though.

[_Bryan Inks]

All of this recent talk about Patriarchal Blessings has me thinking. . . I might try and find a copy of mine, somewhere, and post it.

I received my PB at the young age of 12 and was quite disturbed at some of the editing that had been done to the paper copy I received.

Hmmm. Now. . . how to go about getting a copy again.

[_Jason Bourne]

MM,

The councill was really, in my opinion. to find a wife of comon faith. Certianly there is more to a succesful marriage then that. And of course the agency of your wife comes into play.

[_Negative]

Some time ago we had this discussion on the old MD board. Someone was the son of a patriarch and he explained that the whole process is very controlled. If I remember correctly he said that they have a set of pre-made blessings and they just pick and choose sections from those. They are discouraged, if not forbidden, from free-writing it.

This is all from memory so take it for what it’s worth.

[_Runtu]

Some time ago we had this discussion on the old MD board. Someone was the son of a patriarch and he explained that the whole process is very controlled. If I remember correctly he said that they have a set of pre-made blessings and they just pick and choose sections from those. They are discouraged, if not forbidden, from free-writing it.

This is all from memory so take it for what it’s worth.

Wow, that's even more depressing. But then it shouldn't surprise us. I once naïvely thought that my "new name" was given by revelation.

[_MormonMendacity]

MM,

The councill was really, in my opinion. to find a wife of comon faith. Certianly there is more to a succesful marriage then that. And of course the agency of your wife comes into play.

Thanks, Jason.

You're probably right. I think the problem for me was giving it more weight than I should have.

You seem to have a reasonable, even temper about the Church. Did you ever think some of the things were more absolute than you do now? I admit that I often believed more in the "magic" (no slight intended) or absolute spirituality -- "it's from God!" -- that has left me with some feelings of disillusionment as it turned out.

What do you think? Was the comment "and there lay a foundation for your eternal happiness" designed to raise my expectations for success based upon following that advice?

[_ajax18]

I guess that makes their counsel to us not to share our blessing with other people sound more fishy still. It's interesting how well it works. Very few people probably know that they are often generic.