SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

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Shulem
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by Shulem »

Res Ipsa wrote:
Sun Sep 05, 2021 6:19 pm

I’ve never experienced sexual attraction as a choice. And I’ve never met or read about anyone that consciously decide who to be sexually attracted to.

It's not a choice. It's all programmed in our genetic code. You know what you like when you see it! It's that certain face or that certain body or certain features that really set you off. You know what they are. You've been seeing them all your life and when you see them you like it because that is your natural inclination or that's what turns you on! As I say, you know it when you see it. It's that way with everyone whether gay or straight. We all are programmed with natural desires and needs that all of us want to explore and fulfill.
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by Shulem »

CharlieZulu wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 3:08 am
My point was that if we differentiate between SSA and behavior it may pave the way for a discussion that denigrates neither party.

Attraction and behavior need each other. One without the other cannot be fulfilled but is alone. When attraction marries the behavior then you have a wonderful and beautiful relationship.

There is a saying in the Bible that says it's not good for man to be alone. There is also another saying that is just as valid and that is that it's not good for a gay man to be alone. Men and women were made and designed to experience sexuality within the sphere they were made.
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by Shulem »

Gadianton wrote:
Sun Sep 05, 2021 6:17 pm
Then, the stake president gave a talk about it. He was a psychology professor. He said that SSA is spectrum, and that even straight people have a degree of same-sex attraction, which makes friendships possible.

There is truth to that. Even men who think or claim they are 100% straight have genetic coding that allows them to naturally find attraction coupled with excitement towards the same sex. This is not on the same level as men on the far side of the spectrum who are basically totally gay. But there is that certain something in all of us that lends attraction to both sexes. Many men although they are straight, there remains a curious element when a sexual encounter with another man of a certain type triggered by their genetic desire would be quite appealing. With that said, much of that is bottled up or locked away because of upbringing and society. And that's fine so long as the person lives a fulfilling life and honors their sexual orientation for who they really are.

Even YOU, Gad. Even you. And don't try to deny it. All men have some degree of curiosity. ;)
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by Gadianton »

Charlie wrote:Also in the Boyd K quote you cite it says this: "The church has also moved away from that language. In 1995, Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated that “Some kinds of feelings seem to be inborn. Others are traceable to mortal experiences...
Right...as I was saying, as time went on, the wisdom of the Brethren changed.

Charlie, tell me, aside from SSRs being prohibited by the law of God -- and there are no such commands in scripture -- would you really care?

If two consenting adults claim to be attracted each other and carry out a romantic relationship, do you honestly really care?
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by Shulem »

Gadianton wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 2:45 pm
Charlie wrote:Also in the Boyd K quote you cite it says this: "The church has also moved away from that language. In 1995, Elder Dallin H. Oaks stated that “Some kinds of feelings seem to be inborn. Others are traceable to mortal experiences...
Right...as I was saying, as time went on, the wisdom of the Brethren changed.

Charlie, tell me, aside from SSRs being prohibited by the law of God -- and there are no such commands in scripture -- would you really care?

If two consenting adults claim to be attracted each other and carry out a romantic relationship, do you honestly really care?

1) It wasn't too long ago and the brethren could hardly say the word "gay". They just couldn't get themselves to say it. Other words to describe homosexual relations such as "alternative lifestyle" or just plain ole "immorality" -- that was the repertoire of their vocabulary. That's how all gays were lumped together in a single description -- how disconcerting. Then, if memory serves, the brethren began to relent and the term "so called" was added to gay and lesbian.

2) I don't care if a consenting man and woman are attracted to each other and elect to have a romantic relationship. I'm perfectly fine with that and wouldn't dream of preventing it or intervene in any way. People have the right to love whom they will and express that love and affection privately and publicly as well. I believe in free society and a social interchange founded on the principles of mutual respect and diverse living.

Charlie, I grant you the right to be with a woman or a man. It's whatever you decide. I won't stand in your way. I won't prevent it. I wish you well in your romantic life whatever or however your journey plays out. It's your life and you get to live it!
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by malkie »

Shulem wrote:
Mon Sep 06, 2021 6:38 am
Gadianton wrote:
Sun Sep 05, 2021 6:17 pm
Then, the stake president gave a talk about it. He was a psychology professor. He said that SSA is spectrum, and that even straight people have a degree of same-sex attraction, which makes friendships possible.

There is truth to that. Even men who think or claim they are 100% straight have genetic coding that allows them to naturally find attraction coupled with excitement towards the same sex. This is not on the same level as men on the far side of the spectrum who are basically totally gay. But there is that certain something in all of us that lends attraction to both sexes. Many men although they are straight, there remains a curious element when a sexual encounter with another man of a certain type triggered by their genetic desire would be quite appealing. With that said, much of that is bottled up or locked away because of upbringing and society. And that's fine so long as the person lives a fulfilling life and honors their sexual orientation for who they really are.

Even YOU, Gad. Even you. And don't try to deny it. All men have some degree of curiosity. ;)
I've always regarded myself as totally straight, and could not imagine being attracted to another man.

Until ...

Several years ago I was in a group of people, several of whom were openly gay. One gay guy in particular, that I regard as a friend, is very free with hugs for most people, 'male' and 'female', but he and I had never hugged. I started to feel I was missing something, so I went to him and told him that I noticed that he hugged just about everyone else, but not me. He immediately opened his arms, and I folded myself into them and hugged him tightly.

I don't think I can say it was exactly sexual in nature, but it felt a bit more than just friendly (on my part, that is - I don't and cannot speak for him.) Now we hug each time we meet (well, up till 18 months ago), and it always feels good.

I had a more intense reaction to one of his friends - someone I greatly admire. I'm still not sure I'd call it sexual, but it has made me think.
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Re: SSA (Same Sex Attraction)

Post by Shulem »

malkie wrote:
Wed Sep 08, 2021 7:56 pm
I had a more intense reaction to one of his friends - someone I greatly admire. I'm still not sure I'd call it sexual, but it has made me think.

It sounds more like spirit and mind coming together through a physical embrace and when two people really like each other that can feel quite good. From what it sounds like in your post through your experiences you are perfectly happy with who you are and your sexual orientation is well established and secure. Good for you! That's wonderful, it doesn't sound like you have need whatsoever to explore or test those waters out there in the great deep. Be who you are and go with your flow. You are definitely on the far side of the spectrum and that's great because it works for you.
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