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Proving it's All True

Posted: Fri May 21, 2021 1:15 am
by Moksha
Forget Nahom, the LDS Church's Ensign Peak Investment Fund scored a 900% gain on GameStop. New business indicators have replaced the strained true claims of the past with something quantifiable. Take that, you doubters!

Re: Proving it's All True

Posted: Fri May 21, 2021 1:24 am
by Shulem
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
100+ Billion in stocks
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal

Re: Proving it's All True

Posted: Fri May 21, 2021 6:48 pm
by Doctor CamNC4Me
Shulem wrote:
Fri May 21, 2021 1:24 am
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
100+ Billion in stocks
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal
That’s why the Lord stores His billions in the Cloud.

- Doc

Re: Proving it's All True

Posted: Sun Jun 06, 2021 12:20 am
by Philo Sofee
Holy cow, this is a celestial endorsement of video games! YEAH BABY!

Re: Proving it's All True

Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2021 7:16 pm
by Dr Exiled
I've often wondered, if this thing we discuss were actually true, why God didn't inspire the brethren to create some invention like the computer or an alternative energy source, etc? This could finance the operation in perpetuity. He then wouldn't have to worry about taking the widow's mite, or food from poor kids in Africa, or rent from single moms. Yet, He ordained from the foundations of Wall Street that His church would demand onerous taxes (onerous on at least some of His people), hide the surplus, and invest the booty in monopoly enterprises that further tax His children into servitude.

Maybe Mormon God is really the devil?

Re: Proving it's All True

Posted: Sat Aug 14, 2021 2:28 pm
by Moksha
The Church stock fund earned another 3 billion dollars in the last three months, proving it is even more true.

Re: Proving it's All True

Posted: Sun Aug 15, 2021 2:54 pm
by Rivendale
Dr Exiled wrote:
Sat Jul 10, 2021 7:16 pm
I've often wondered, if this thing we discuss were actually true, why God didn't inspire the brethren to create some invention like the computer or an alternative energy source, etc? This could finance the operation in perpetuity. He then wouldn't have to worry about taking the widow's mite, or food from poor kids in Africa, or rent from single moms. Yet, He ordained from the foundations of Wall Street that His church would demand onerous taxes (onerous on at least some of His people), hide the surplus, and invest the booty in monopoly enterprises that further tax His children into servitude.

Maybe Mormon God is really the devil?
Well there is always Philo Taylor Farnsworth.