Seminary: bleary eyed brainwashing

[_Doctor Steuss]

Yes! Here is the form:

BOARD A-HOLE FORM
#321-4232-SHADYACRES-32

Name (or Posting Alias): Doctor Steuss, Curmudgeon Extraordinaire.

Gender: 95% Male, 5% Something vaguely familiar but strangely un-place-able.

Weight: 220ish

Height: 6’0”

Muscle Mass: More than a little, less than a lot.

Measurements (chest/waist/butt): Lactating / Can Pinch-an-inch / Poops



1) I fart in elevators and drive a Hummer.

2) I slapped a hoe. Gave a nun a “wet-wily.” Touched another man’s fries.

3) Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Church of the Subgenius, the Steussites (I condemned myself).

4) Unknown. Can I get a make-up exam that asks about the Backstreet Boys?

5) SCMC (Smarmy Community Misanthropic College).

6) Sue (on both accounts).

7) I prefer being on top of the Bush Administration.

Failure to answer any of these questions (or inability to do so) will lead to immediate rejection as Board A-Hole.

Drats. Damn you N-sync! Damn you to Stuessite hell!

[_asbestosman]

BOARD A-HOLE FORM
#321-4232-SHADYACRES-32

Name (or Posting Alias): A(hole)-man

Gender: M

Weight: Dunno. I don't carry it

Height: Tall enough to look down my nose at everyone else

Muscle Mass: Only in the mouth (or fingers)

Measurements (chest/waist/butt): No chest. No gutt. Just one big hole in the butt.



1) In 42 words or less tell us why you're an a-hole. Because Just for kicks.

2) List 3 Hate Crimes You've Committed in the past Month. I argued against gays. I argued against lesbians. I argued against homosexuals.

3) List 3 Religions you've offended to the point of being condemned to a version of Hell. Steussites, Scratchites, and Coggites

4) List 5 Members of N'Sync. I ain't doing your homework for you.

5) Where did you go to Law School? I am the law.

6) Give the new name Satan gave you when you sold your soul to him and under what name do you worship him? asbestosman

7) List what position(s) who've held under the Bush Administration. I'm over the Bush Administration, not under it. My positions there are such that I cannot possibly discuss it in the terrestrial forum. Suffice it to say that my positions over the Clinton Administration were more exciting.

[_Bond...James Bond]

2) List 3 Hate Crimes You've Committed in the past Month. I argued against gays. I argued against lesbians. I argued against homosexuals.

That only counts as one. You need to commit crimes based on race and gender also. Preferably you'll combine the two with a crime based on homophobia and assault an African American lesbian while providing a hostile work environment where she makes less than you do although you have the same job titles.

As of now, you're not A-Hole material (yet).

[Analytics]

That only counts as one. You need to commit crimes based on race and gender also. Preferably you'll combine the two with a crime based on homophobia and assault an African American lesbian while providing a hostile work environment where she makes less than you do although you have the same job titles.

As of now, you're not A-Hole material (yet).

Joking aside for a moment, for the record I don't consider assult to be funny no matter who it is and no matter if the person "deserves" it. Furthermore, I don't think gays deserve to be harassed. Arguing, on the other hand, I do enjoy and often do consider it to be funny, or at least amusing.

I'm willing to allow homophobia to be one of my hate crimes, but the truth is I'm not particularly afraid of gays nor of gay marriage.

Mayonnaise, on the other hand I do hate and will gladly commit hate crimes against. I will be sadisticaly whip and abuse mayonnaise. I have no problem fully admitting that I not only treat it as sub-human, I actually view it as such.

Would it be a hate crime if I refuse to make eye-contact with a lesbian African-American? You could chalk me up for that one, but then I suppose I hate everyone equally well in that regard.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Mayonnaise, on the other hand I do hate and will gladly commit hate crimes against. I will be sadisticaly whip and abuse mayonnaise. I have no problem fully admitting that I not only treat it as sub-human, I actually view it as such.

We may disagree about Mormonism, Asbestosman, but we are in perfect harmony when it comes to mayonnaise! I loathe mayonnaise and it's equally gross white, smelly counterpart, Miracle Whip. They are indeed vile condiments and I refuse to allow either in my refrigerator! My husband gets no sugar if he eats anything containing mayo, unless he scrubs his teeth and gargles with Listerine.

KA

[_Doctor Steuss]

Heathens

Doctor "Loves all of the white stuff" Steuss



Wait...


...Did I just say "all"?



NOOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!!!

[_why me]

Thanks, but I just don't like the person I've become lately when I'm on here. Thanks for caring but I think the boards will operate much more smoothly without me. I'm really not an apologist in any real sense and I find myself defending issues I don't know enough about. I mostly showed up to crack one-liners but the lack of LDS here made me want to dive into the breach to protect what I love. That was unwise.

Of course the LDS will begin to leave these boards. I do believe that they are disappearing at a rapid rate mainly due insults and verbal bullying. In the end, the board will become an offshoot of RFM and the Postmorg where mockings and insults to Mormons become normal fare.

In my opinion, the exboards need to abuse the Mormon posters. It becomes a primal need on their part. I have seen this on the Postmorg and on RFM. But in the end, I look upon it as an inferiority complex on exmos part.

Such is life as an exmo who posts on the boards.

[_silentkid]

Such is life as an exmo who posts on the boards.

Wait...you're an exmo? Since when? ;)