Scottie wrote:One of the reasons I asked this question was that my girlfriend dumped me last week.
She said that on paper, we were perfect for each other. We had physical attraction, we had tons of fun together, we trusted each other, we were comfortable with each other, etc. It had all the makings of a great long term relationship. But, she just didn't feel "it".
It seems to me that many couples get married based solely on the "it", when they have no real connections anywhere else, and the marriages fail once the "it" dies.
So, how important is the "it" factor in a relationship?
Would you marry someone that you had nothing in common with, but you were just incredibly drawn to them? Would you marry someone where you had all the pieces, but you just felt like it was missing something? Or would you hold out for someone that you had at least some compatibility and some of the "it"? Or full compatibility and full "it"?
Dude, I thought you said she was a TBM.
Perhaps if you had the celestial smile and the garment line on the leg?
Scottie wrote:One of the reasons I asked this question was that my girlfriend dumped me last week.
She said that on paper, we were perfect for each other. We had physical attraction, we had tons of fun together, we trusted each other, we were comfortable with each other, etc. It had all the makings of a great long term relationship. But, she just didn't feel "it".
It seems to me that many couples get married based solely on the "it", when they have no real connections anywhere else, and the marriages fail once the "it" dies.
So, how important is the "it" factor in a relationship?
Would you marry someone that you had nothing in common with, but you were just incredibly drawn to them? Would you marry someone where you had all the pieces, but you just felt like it was missing something? Or would you hold out for someone that you had at least some compatibility and some of the "it"? Or full compatibility and full "it"?
Dude, I thought you said she was a TBM.
Perhaps if you had the celestial smile and the garment line on the leg?
I agree with PP. That's what I'm thinking.
How could she not feel "it" with you? ;)
Frankly, it sounds like she's playing the martyr and getting out of the relationship because she feels a little too much "it", and doesn't want to deal with family pressure about not marrying a TBM.
liz3564 wrote:How could she not feel "it" with you? ;)
Oh stop.......*blush* It could never be the "it" that you and I have, Liz. :)
Frankly, it sounds like she's playing the martyr and getting out of the relationship because she feels a little too much "it", and doesn't want to deal with family pressure about not marrying a TBM.
Naw...her family LOVES me and they think she's an idiot to "let a great catch like me get away!" Which, I have to agree with the family...I am a DAMN good catch! ;)
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
I have been very lucky to marry a wonderful man. I feel fortunate that I had a few years of being on my own and being away from the church before I got married. I was more 'me' at that point - there was no false advertising. 12 years and we're still doing well.
Generally speaking that passionate love feeling only lasts for 6 months. After that you are left dealing with what you have together. I remember one of my roommates at BYU asking me - I've heard that any two righteous people can make it work, do you think that is true? She'd known her fiance for 2 months at that time. Although - they are still married and it has been nearly 20 years now.
Religion has nearly nothing to do with my marriage. Perhaps we don't give enough credit to dumb luck in these situations. When you marry someone you have no way of knowing what will happen in 5 years, 20 years, if you'll change, what stresses will come into your life. Looking back I've always been 'myself' however I was pretty different as a TBM. Had I married back then I feel it would have been extremely difficult to make the change within a marriage. I really feel for those who still have believing spouses. Even if both spouses leave you could end up being too different to keep it together.
My husband has been my touchstone and has kept me grounded through much of the fallout I've had. Being a nevermo it's nice to have him say - perhaps you should re-think that, yes, your family is insane, etc. He helps me keep things light and airy.
Insert ironic quote from fellow board member here.