Newest pulpit mandate is highly ironic

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_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

John Larsen wrote:
The Nehor wrote:
John Larsen wrote:Because Satan's minions lurk here and everyone knows the Devil loves money.

I don't remember God telling me to give a tenth of all I have. Could you refresh my memory?


It was in that 'Standard Works' thing us LDS keep blathering on about.


Really? Where?


In Jerome's Appendix to the Apocrypha we read: "All those who shall carry the name of Larsen shall donate one tenth of their increase annually to the Church of the Most High lest I grow displeased and cause his belly to swell with fatness, his hair to fall out, his sexual potentcy to fail, and his legs to get the gout."

So let it be written. :)
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_Dr. Shades
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Post by _Dr. Shades »

John Larsen wrote:I just gave God my routing number. I told Him to take all that he needs. This way, I tithe 100%.


I'm still a full tithe payer. I made a deal with God so that he'd keep His 10% up front and just send me the remaining 90%.
"Finally, for your rather strange idea that miracles are somehow linked to the amount of gay sexual gratification that is taking place would require that primitive Christianity was launched by gay sex, would it not?"

--Louis Midgley
_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

Dr. Shades wrote:
John Larsen wrote:I just gave God my routing number. I told Him to take all that he needs. This way, I tithe 100%.


I'm still a full tithe payer. I made a deal with God so that he'd keep His 10% up front and just send me the remaining 90%.


Lucky! I offered him that deal but he turned me down. Something about proving me or some rubbish like that.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_Tarski
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Post by _Tarski »

asbestosman wrote: Reminds me of Alma chapter 30 where Korihor comes.
27 And thus ye lead away this people after the foolish traditions of your fathers, and according to your own desires; and ye keep them down, even as it were in bondage, that ye may glut yourselves with the labors of their hands, that they durst not look up with boldness, and that they durst not enjoy their rights and privileges.
28 Yea, they durst not make use of that which is their own lest they should offend their priests, who do yoke them according to their desires, and have brought them to believe, by their traditions and their dreams and their whims and their visions and their pretended mysteries, that they should, if they did not do according to their words, offend some unknown being, who they say is God—a being who never has been seen or known, who never was nor ever will be.



If you are trying to con someone it is best to anticipate any reasonable thoughts they may have and try to disarm them before hand. Korihor's character is inserted as an innoculation.

Of course, Korihor recants (I personally think Korihor was a moron--sees angels and yet is an atheist? Brainless as a strawman).

Even if Korihor were a real historical person (which he is not), it would still be the case that he is not telling his own story. If he were here he might say one of the following

1. No I did not see any angels. Those religious nuts made that one up too and put it in their book.
or
2. I did see some stuff but only after having eaten some funny mushrooms. I had enough sense to realize that visions prove something about me not about the world or gods.


The Korihor character is one that makes me suspect Joseph Smith even more. It's like he agreed with Korihor on some level but then on second though, he saw no opportunities in it. He decided he wanted a piece of the priesltly pie--and boy did he get it-what with all those "wives" and all. Of course, it all caught up with him.
when believers want to give their claims more weight, they dress these claims up in scientific terms. When believers want to belittle atheism or secular humanism, they call it a "religion". -Beastie

yesterday's Mormon doctrine is today's Mormon folklore.-Buffalo
_solomarineris
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Post by _solomarineris »

The Nehor wrote:
SatanWasSetUp wrote:That's quite an impressive sales pitch!


Yes, but the deal is with God, not the Church.


You gotta love that logic.....
Since Herr Gott is not present, let them collect the dough.
Donnerwetter!!
_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

solomarineris wrote:
The Nehor wrote:
SatanWasSetUp wrote:That's quite an impressive sales pitch!


Yes, but the deal is with God, not the Church.


You gotta love that logic.....
Since Herr Gott is not present, let them collect the dough.
Donnerwetter!!


Well, the issue is your payment or lack thereof is between you and God. If you feel he's not living up to his end, you can stop paying. If you feel it's working, keep paying. But, you may say, they WON'T LET YOU GO TO THE TEMPLE?!?!?!?!?!

So what? If you don't think God can live up to his promises about Tithing why would you want to make more promises to him?
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_asbestosman
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Post by _asbestosman »

The Nehor wrote:But, you may say, they WON'T LET YOU GO TO THE TEMPLE?!?!?!?!?!

So what? If you don't think God can live up to his promises about Tithing why would you want to make more promises to him?

Because maybe you still want to attend your child's wedding even if you personally don't want to make promises to God. Last I checked, Catholics, protestants, etc. don't ban apostate/inactive parents from attending their children's weddings.
That's General Leo. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.
eritis sicut dii
I support NCMO
_The Nehor
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Post by _The Nehor »

asbestosman wrote:
The Nehor wrote:But, you may say, they WON'T LET YOU GO TO THE TEMPLE?!?!?!?!?!

So what? If you don't think God can live up to his promises about Tithing why would you want to make more promises to him?

Because maybe you still want to attend your child's wedding even if you personally don't want to make promises to God. Last I checked, Catholics, protestants, etc. don't ban apostate/inactive parents from attending their children's weddings.


One can only hope they will one day. Blasted heathens.
"Surely he knows that DCP, The Nehor, Lamanite, and other key apologists..." -Scratch clarifying my status in apologetics
"I admit it; I'm a petty, petty man." -Some Schmo
_Mercury
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Post by _Mercury »

Moniker wrote:No comment on the OP... Mercury who is that in your avatar???


Freddie MERCURY
And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time
And lost in space...and meaning
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