Unsolicited Advice, Free Stuff, and Women's "Rolls"

[_ubermarie]

A few days ago I received an anonymous package in the mail. It contained a teary letter, two xeroxed conference talks, and three hardback Mormon books*. At first I was a little bothered. It seemed rather invasive. But then I noticed that the three books were brand new. So, I bagged the books, went to Deseret Book, and "returned" them, saying that I had lost my receipt. The woman eyed me for a moment, considered my natural wholesome glow and said, sure, no problem. I just had to join some Deseret Book Member thingey. I gave her my information which she banged into her keyboard. "It didn't take it," she said. Oh no! I thought. She's onto me! Really, for a moment there I thought that I had been red-flagged and had made it onto some special list in a Secret Mormon Database. But, no. She reentered my information, and this time I cleared. (Thank you, Jebus.) Then the employee handed me a gift card with a $30.29 credit. Score. Free books for my kids! I walked away from the store with five new kids books, a Lion House Roll mix, two orange rolls, and a diet root beer.

For your viewing pleasure, here is the letter:

"Dear [ubermarie],

You don't know me, you may know who I am, but that is all. I have just had an overwhelming need to tell you that you are loved, and missed. I am not someone who reaches out to people I don't know well, so this is tough for me. But, the spirit just keeps putting you in my heart. Heavenly Father is aware and watching over you. The sisters in the ___ ___ Ward love you and miss you.

Whatever your struggles are, that is between you and Heavenly Father, just know that you are loved. You have such a beautiful spirit about you and your voice is that of an angel on earth.

We are all given obstacles in our lives to overcome. Especially the earyly Saints of the church. The trials were hard, and we cannot begin to understand the Lord's reasoning behind them. Only that He had a plan. He has a plan even today. (If you haven't seen the movie Emma Smith, My Story in the theaters, take the time to go see it. I found it very enlightening.)

Sometimes I question the roll of women in the Church and how we fit in. Then, I remember a lesson I had in Seminary clear back in High School. The teacher looked at the young men and asked them to consider this, "Women don't need the priesthood to keep them on the straight and narrow, they are already partners with God, they only need the priesthood to make the way easier." That lesson has helped me so much; to remember.

I just hope you will understand that I write this letter out of love. We all need to know others are aware of our struggles and love us still. Heavenly Father knows you and loves you immensely.

I have included a couple of books and articles I thought might be something you would enjoy reading.

With love, a sister in ____"


*Eve and the Choice Made in Eden," by Beverly Campell; "If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard: And Other Reassuring Truths," by Sheri Dew; and some collection of Hinckley quotes about women. Snore.

[_Trevor]

Hey, ubermarie-

I am glad to hear you scored some good books for your kids out of this! Way to go. I don't think I would have thought to do this, when presented with such a thing. YOU ROCK.

The letter is kind of sad and sweet. I feel badly for the woman who actually buys into the nonsense she has had drummed into her from her childhood. There are so many of them. You should feel proud of yourself for using your wits to think your way out of it. You were able to do so in a way that few people are--even the brightest apologists and scholars the Church produced. (I know this from prior communications.) You are in the company of B.H. Roberts and Thomas Stuart Ferguson, with the difference being that you had the guts to stop going too.

I sincerely hope, however, that you don't have to deal with such soul-saving admonitions on a regular basis. That must get old. I live in a largely non-LDS area, as you know. My ward left me alone after two visits from the bishop. I see other members, and they try to ignore my existence. Life is sweet in that way.

[_ubermarie]

Thanks, Trevor. I don't know which is worse -- to have no one care that you left or to have people care too much. I get so many love bombs that it has become a little tiresome. But it is also nice to know that people are noticing. Even though it's blowing their minds because I just look too happy to be wallowing in Satan's spit. It's really confusing. If I were rich, I would hire a professional to come to my former ward and do some serious grief counseling for them.

[_Trevor]

Thanks, Trevor. I don't know which is worse -- to have no one care that you left or to have people care too much. I get so many love bombs that it has become a little tiresome. But it is also nice to know that people are noticing. Even though it's blowing their minds because I just look too happy to be wallowing in Satan's spit. It's really confusing. If I were rich, I would hire a professional to come to my former ward and do some serious grief counseling for them.

Well, we can only hope that the warm glow of the spirit will succor them in this time of need. And, in this case, ubermarie, I'll take neglect any day of the week, but my circumstances are different.

[_Moniker]

Hi, ubermarie. I can relate to being peppered with concern for your soul. :)

It's an odd predicament to be placed in. I too get books every so often from well intentioned neighbors (and family). I know they mean well, and yet, it's quite uncomfortable. Like Trevor, I'm pleased your children were able to have some new books and hope you enjoyed your rootbeer!

[_KimberlyAnn]

I loved your post, UM, and congratulate you on scoring books for the kids by trading those snoozers left by the well-meaning sister in your ward.

All in all, I'd rather get books than a paper plate full of anonymously left cookies which aren't good for anything but the trash bin. So, I say you should count your blessings. Don't forget to name them one by one. One orange roll...two orange rolls...

KA

[_Trevor]

ubermarie,

Look for these arresting titles by Boyd K. Packer in next month's care package:

Uppity Women of the Early Church and How We Put Them in Their Place

Ventriloquism for Dummies, or How to Guide Today's Female 'Leadership' during General Conference

They May Not Be Mormon, but Their Women Know How to Dress: Righteous Fashion Tips from the Compound

And here's a new unauthorized biography that will probably not come your way:

The Boredom and the Humiliation: The Sheri Dew Story

[_ubermarie]

ubermarie,

Look for these arresting titles by Boyd K. Packer in next month's care package:

Uppity Women of the Early Church and How We Put Them in Their Place

Ventriloquism for Dummies, or How to Guide Today's Female 'Leadership' during General Conference

They May Not Be Mormon, but Their Women Know How to Dress: Righteous Fashion Tips from the Compound

And here's a new unauthorized biography that will probably not come your way:

The Boredom and the Humiliation: The Sheri Dew Story

That's awesome, Trevor. But I thought that Sheri Dew's bio was called, "The Agony of No Ecstasy."

[_Trevor]

That's awesome, Trevor. But I thought that Sheri Dew's bio was called, "The Agony of No Ecstasy."

It was the test title, but they decided against selling it as such an intimate portrait.