Do women follow the golden rule in romantic relationships?

[_beastie]

It’s simple. Ajax’s point is that women suck in relationships with men. Women take advantage of men, are manipulative, and selfish.

Here’s what may be going on. Some people are pretty lucky by accident of birth – they have good lucks, adequate intelligence, and economic advantages provided by their parents. Some – not all, but some – of these people just don’t encounter many bumps on their road as they develop through to young adult-hood. They were very popular in school and learned to expect a certain amount of attention through no particular effort or character of their own. They develop a sense of entitlement and privilege. We see extreme examples in the news, but the less extreme examples abound as well. Largely due to blind luck, nothing in particular happened to these people to help them develop humility and even compassion for others. They tend to become self-centered, self-absorbed, and selfish. If they mate with someone they perceive as being “lower” on the mating scale, they will probably not treat that person particularly well. While I believe these type of people exist in every generation, I believe they are a rather small subset of the overall population, for the simple reason that most of us have to deal with enough struggles to develop some humility and caution along the way.

Now, along with this population subset, another subset exists – those who, for whatever reason, really crave the company of the Privilege Spoiled Ones. They will work really hard to get in their good graces and to have their attention. They will jump at the chance to be in a relationship with the PSO. Yet, these are not people who feel privileged, these are people who have had some struggles in life, so they have developed some humility and compassion. Yet they are inexorably drawn to the PSO. The irony is that the PSO will never really view this hanger-on as an equal, or as particularly deserving of the partnership of the PSO. But if, for whatever reason, the PSO deigns to enter a relationship – or marriage – with the hanger-on, the PSO will tend to continue to behave in the same self-absorbed, self-centered, and selfish ways. In other words, the PSO make horrible life partners.

Now, I can understand why hanger-ons get fooled into one relationship with a PSO – they are fooled by their looks and charm, and believe they’ll be a good partner. But after having been burned once, you’d think they’d learn and look for a different type of person next time. But some just don’t. They just keep going back for more.

[_ajax18]

This is not a problem unique to you, it's a problem with the entire human species and our thought processes. But being aware of it can help.

I think men can be very short sighted. If they considered the future they might behave more cautiously. But evolution selects for those who take risks. Survival is just not always the happiest route.

Is there anyone else who would prefer a planet himself than living with all your brothers and sisters in the Celestial kingdom? Maybe I'm the only one. A rare human feline. Being alone truly energizes me.

[_Dr. Shades]

Sorry Shades, I overlooked this reply. It seems like a very in depth understanding of evolution for an English major. I guess I underestimated you.

Don't let my degree fool you.

[_ludwigm]

...
Some of you older members could probably testify that the importance of looks gets lower on the priority as we get older.

Please define the word "old" and "older" !

I am 63. So what?

[_Gazelam]

Speaking strictly for myself, I choose to do my best at treating my wife the way I want to be treated, and hope that she will act the same way. Sometimes I fail, and sometimes she fails. But most of the time we're pretty happy together.

I liked what beastie had to say in regards to not keeping a tally sheet as to who puts more into the relationship. that's just dumb. Garbage like that can be brought up in an arguement later on, and that's just petty nonsence.