Questions for former and inactive church members(LDS).

[_JonasS]

Perhaps you read wrong. Read again including the title ^^^^

I said, "What I don't believe..."

[_Roger Morrison]

Perhaps you read wrong. Read again including the title ^^^^

I said, "What I don't believe..."

OK! I did misread... Please excuse my misplaced sympathy... Not as good at connecting dots as I used to be. Roger
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[_Imwashingmypirate]

No worries, I am not exactly all that perfect myself.

Church today was loooong and cold very cold. But I think I needed it. There are a couple missionaries (I know this is not grammatically correct) in my home ward and they have been there a while but I don't normally talk to them. Today the Lady said hi and she seemed nice. When we were in relief society, I learned a bit about her just by the way she was. There is something about her that shines through. Like she is more than the regular chapel Mormon. I could feel the different energies around and who was annoyed by who and how people felt. It was very strange. Like slow motion. I could see that in SS there were people annoyed by one person in particular and she couldn't see that she was annoying people. She wasn't annoying me because I know what she is like and I know she doesn't mean any harm. But this sister missionary was different to anyone I have ever met. I could feel the inadequacies she felt in life. I could feel how she felt when she wanted to share her opinions but was often over shadowed by louder people in the group and the didn't realise. I noticed she put her hand up often to say something and usually the teacher would ask others (perhaps because she was at the side of the room and is a quiet natured person), so I leaned towards her leaning my head on my hand with my arm in the chair next to me, to pull some attention towards her. I can't say it helped but the woman next to me (the one people were getting annoyed by) noticed.

At the end of relief society she turned to me and begun to talk to me. She asked me what I am taking home with me from the lesson and I said I am tired :). Then she talked about how she wondered how someone my age sits through it and what I get from it and talked about the girls that hang on the street and I said I don't talk to many people and she said good for you. The I was just honest. I told her I have been questioning and have a lot of questions. I told her how I throught throughout the lesson that there was a lot of talk about Joseph Smith and Christ was only mentioned once even thought the lesson was titled the pure love of Christ (In Joseph Smith manual). I mentioned some other worries. She understood and knew what I meant and said she is the same. That she too has questions and often things this doesn't sound right then studies it out and it gets better. She said it is good that I question because its when questioning that the answers come and that it might take years. We talked about charity, the lesson was on charity. And she admitted that if she saw a homless beggar on the street she couldn't think she's want to help him because he would smell. And she talked of how mother teresa was able to pick up maggot covered people in the street. I told her that a lot of people will feel the same but most people wont admit it. And that it takes bravery. I told her with faith in Christ we can gain that bravery.

She helped me in some ways. To see a real person in the church who struggles and desires to know and has the ability to question and most importantly admits it to herself and others to me is amazing. It is what I needed. I needed to know that I wasn't alone. To me she is the most real person in the Gospel I have met.

I decided I was going to write to her because she touched my heart.

[_Blixa]

Hi Pirate!

I don't know that I have any answers for you, but I do think your sincere questioning merits thoughtful responses.

It seems like you find some things in the Mormon religion helpful to you and other things not as much. Perhaps Roger's suggestion about lists would help clarify things for you to the point that you can figure out if you can keep those things you treasure while getting rid of those things you don't. Some people are able to do this and remain lds, some aren't. The ones who don't stay may find satisfaction in other religious organizations, or even none at all.

I don't know which direction you'll find yourself in, but I do think you should take your time figuring it out. You don't need to decide everything right now, especially when these are big, philosophically dense and emotional choices. Take your time. Talk to other people (like you already do!), think through things by yourself, read, read, read, and maybe even seek out and explore other spiritual traditions. Though I don't believe in God, if you do, then I would also pray and seek out spiritual wisdom in a variety of ways: specifically Mormon prayers, traditional christian prayers, and even things like meditation, or practices associated with "eastern" spiritual paths.

Most importantly, though, I would tell you to trust your own questioning and not give in to any stress or pressure to think, believe or behave in a certain way (no matter from what quarter). And don't put any unnecessary stress on yourself over this.

I don't know what you'll find or where you'll end up, but I am confident that any god that might exist would appreciate the quest of a sincere spiritual seeker.

Good luck!

[_Roger Morrison]

Hi Pirate, (although I really don't think you are of that nature--too honest :-)
I think Blixa gives you excellent advice! Go with it at your own speed.
I'm on the road andam trying to use a keyboard with worn out letters...not good for a hunt-&-peck old guy...
Roger M...
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[_Imwashingmypirate]

WOW Blixa, that made a lot of sense. Thanks.

Of what nature roger?

[_Blixa]

I'm glad you found my comments useful, Pirate. You know I like you and wish you well. I think its good to question, but I know it can also be frustrating. But it's true, you have time to figure things out, so take that time and investigate and contemplate everything!

Although I am not religious, I do find a lot of religious spaces very helpful: I like the idea of natural or man-made places being set aside for a kind of "time out" from everyday concerns. I think this practice is very healthy, whether one subscribes to any particular beliefs. I can't remember what part of the country you're in now (and you don't have to say), so I don't have any concrete suggestions. But I rather like old cathedrals (especially with added historical interest) and especially cemeteries. Of course, I'm interested in the history of the markers and such, but its more than that. I find them peaceful places to sit and think and by their very nature they lead one to contemplate mortality and the possibilities of eternity.

I once posted on the blog I had here, the work of an artist who I like quite a bit: James Turrell. He's done some work designing Quaker meeting houses that are very simple, but very effective in creating spaces that take you out of yourself.

Anyway...just some more rambling thoughts.

[_William Schryver]

I just wanted to comment briefly on this thread and note that I consider it one of the most revealing threads ever here in Shadyville.

I never cease to be simultaneously amazed and amused by the self-incognizant things that are said/written by "wise-in-their-own-eyes" former Mormons.

Pirate dear, if you really want to ever reach a point where your spirituality can take root, you must--at least for the time being--avoid the sophists that dominate this message board. I do not believe that you are currently able to intellectually resist their well-developed sophistries, and the more you subject yourself to their sophisticated propaganda, the more the distance between you and your God will increase, until ultimately you will lose all connection with Him.

[_Doctor CamNC4Me]

I just wanted to comment briefly on this thread and note that I consider it one of the most revealing threads ever here in Shadyville.

I never cease to be simultaneously amazed and amused by the self-incognizant things that are said/written by "wise-in-their-own-eyes" former Mormons.

Pirate dear, if you really want to ever reach a point where your spirituality can take root, you must--at least for the time being--avoid the sophists that dominate this message board. I do not believe that you are currently able to intellectually resist their well-developed sophistries, and the more you subject yourself to their sophisticated propaganda, the more the distance between you and your God will increase, until ultimately you will lose all connection with Him.

Good Afternoon,

I simply wanted to highlight that absurdity.

Very Respectfully,

Doctor CamNC4Me

[_Who Knows]

If there really is a god, I figure he can tell me himself, just as I would do with my own child. Until that time, he does not exist - thus, Mormonism is not 'true'.

I'm not holding my breath.