How many of you have fake cried?

[_stemelbow]

CFR

I'm sad you've been missing what the LDS Church teaches, jon. Here's a start for ya:

http://LDS.org/search?lang=eng&query=suicide

http://LDS.org/search?query=mental+illness&lang=eng

[_jon]

CFR

I'm sad you've been missing what the LDS Church teaches, jon. Here's a start for ya:

http://LDS.org/search?lang=eng&query=suicide

http://LDS.org/search?query=mental+illness&lang=eng

Thanks Stem, no need to be sad, whilst I may have not read some of what the Church teaches I have definitely not been missing it.

[_Eyepatch]

OK...it's not fake tears, but here's one from the missionary story vault:

I "served" in Northern Germany ('87-'89) and we had developed a contact way out in a remote village. It took about 15 miles of steady pedalling to even get to the appointment. Well, we were having a really late discussion with the contact, and it was getting on to be about 10:15pm. I WAS ALREADY EXHAUSTED...and all I could think about with dread was the 15 mile bike ride home in the freezing cold. Well, I simply fell asleep at his kitchen table, using the old sacrament-meeting head-bow sleep technique. I immediately started dreaming about kittens or something. When I nodded up, out of my sleeping position, the contact asked, "Elder Eyepatch, were you praying?"

I looked him in the eye, and solemnly answered: "Yes, I was praying that you would accept our message and be baptized!"

If I had a time machine I would bitch-slap the young Elder Eyepatch for being such an asshole.

[_selek]

I once fake cried at EFY to impress girls. Not while speaking, but while sitting in the audience listening. No blubbering, just a tear to show how moved I was by the Spirit.

My older brother boned a lot of LDS girls in his day. He told me that he would get them worked up by making out, then drop some line like "feelings like this must be from god" or "this is the spirit telling us we have a special relationship". Seems completely hokey to me but he claims it frequently worked on otherwise-chastity-belt-laden LDS young women.

Personally, as much as I would have liked to have gotten some milk and honey from the LDS girls in my ward, I think it's too manipulative for my taste.

It does illustrate, however, how easily people can be manipulated with "feelings of the spirit".

[_Some Schmo]

My older brother boned a lot of LDS girls in his day. He told me that he would get them worked up by making out, then drop some line like "feelings like this must be from god" or "this is the spirit telling us we have a special relationship". Seems completely hokey to me but he claims it frequently worked on otherwise-chastity-belt-laden LDS young women.

This is the second time in this thread I've been jealous. Why the hell didn't I take advantage of the situation I was in?

I know why: because being a member was a source of despair for me. I just didn't have the emotional fortitude to make lemonade out of lemons (or have LDS teenage girls squeeze my lemon for me, that is, till the juice ran down my leg...)

[_why me]

My older brother boned a lot of LDS girls in his day. He told me that he would get them worked up by making out, then drop some line like "feelings like this must be from god" or "this is the spirit telling us we have a special relationship". Seems completely hokey to me but he claims it frequently worked on otherwise-chastity-belt-laden LDS young women.

Personally, as much as I would have liked to have gotten some milk and honey from the LDS girls in my ward, I think it's too manipulative for my taste.

It does illustrate, however, how easily people can be manipulated with "feelings of the spirit".

Your brother was had. No LDS girl would have fallen for that line. However, since your brother gave them that line they could easily blame your brother for lying to them. But they wanted the sex. Your brother was used and he gave them a way out by him claiming priesthood authority and it being from god. It was he who lied after all, deceiving innocent sisters. So the story goes.

[Guest]

This is the second time in this thread I've been jealous. Why the hell didn't I take advantage of the situation I was in?

I know why: because being a member was a source of despair for me. I just didn't have the emotional fortitude to make lemonade out of lemons (or have LDS teenage girls squeeze my lemon for me, that is, till the juice ran down my leg...)

His brother was had. He may think that he fooled the sisters but the sisters fooled him. Here is how it goes: The sister goes into the bishops office and says that a brother fooled her into sex. When making out, the brother informed me that he felt the spirit tell him that we should have sex. I did because I trusted him. The bishop has sympathy for the sister.

Now the brother goes into the bishop and confesses. He claims that he fooled the sister into sex. Off with head and ask questions later. Excommunicated and gone for a while.

When one is having a Mormon lay much better to keep the clothes on and not give in to tempation. The guy always loses.

[_jon]

His brother was had. He may think that he fooled the sisters but the sisters fooled him. Here is how it goes: The sister goes into the bishops office and says that a brother fooled her into sex. When making out, the brother informed me that he felt the spirit tell him that we should have sex. I did because I trusted him. The bishop has sympathy for the sister.

Now the brother goes into the bishop and confesses. He claims that he fooled the sister into sex. Off with head and ask questions later. Excommunicated and gone for a while.

The brother is still in receipt of the better deal!

[_why me]

I know why: because being a member was a source of despair for me. I just didn't have the emotional fortitude to make lemonade out of lemons (or have LDS teenage girls squeeze my lemon for me, that is, till the juice ran down my leg...)

Yea, schmo, you should have lied to the sister into taking off her clothes to have sex. Much better that way. I am sure that you would have felt good about it even now. Right? We shouldn't lower ourselves down to the least common denominator.

[_why me]

The brother is still in receipt of the better deal!

Hardly. His brother was a cad. But in the end he was had. But he was a cad nonetheless. If one is going to have sex with a sister much better to do it out of lust and the lust is mutual. Both are on equal grounds but the brother always loses. The sister usually get the sympathy and the brother gets disfellowshipped. But at least there is no trickery or supposed trickery. Most sisters know the line about feeling the spirit and so lets have sex is a lie. But it does let them off the hook somewhat and they know it.