New Podcasts on the Weird and Incoherent Mormon God(s)

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Shulem
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Re: Smile and say, "Cheese"

Post by Shulem »

Rivendale wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:12 pm
God would consider that steadying the Ark and kill you.

Rivendale,

Imagine St. Peter and the apostles of old having IPhones and snapping pics of resurrected Jesus appearing before them. Would they be able to share those pics with the world and prove that Jesus lives?

Imagine a photo of resurrected Jesus eating fish and honeycomb -- and then burping! Wouldn't that just take the cake? Or how about Moroni holding the gold plates and posing for a photo to prove the Book of Mormon is real?

The whole thing is utterly silly and ridiculous. It's not about steadying an Ark but proving how silly the whole thing is.
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Rivendale
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Re: Smile and say, "Cheese"

Post by Rivendale »

Shulem wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:18 pm
Rivendale wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:12 pm
God would consider that steadying the Ark and kill you.

Rivendale,

Imagine St. Peter and the apostles of old having IPhones and snapping pics of resurrected Jesus appearing before them. Would they be able to share those pics with the world and prove that Jesus lives?

Imagine a photo of resurrected Jesus eating fish and honeycomb -- and then burping! Wouldn't that just take the cake? Or how about Moroni holding the gold plates and posing for a photo to prove the Book of Mormon is real?

The whole thing is utterly silly and ridiculous. It's not about steadying an Ark but proving how silly the whole thing is.
If you want to stop a theist in their tracks, ask if god has Balanitis.
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Shulem
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Re: Smile and say, "Cheese"

Post by Shulem »

Rivendale wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:21 pm
If you want to stop a theist in their tracks, ask if god has Balanitis.

Or better yet, is Christ resurrected having his foreskin intact? What about Heavenly Father's foreskin?

Essential for salvation!
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Rivendale
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Re: Smile and say, "Cheese"

Post by Rivendale »

Shulem wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:24 pm
Rivendale wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:21 pm
If you want to stop a theist in their tracks, ask if god has Balanitis.

Or better yet, is Christ resurrected having his foreskin intact? What about Heavenly Father's foreskin?

Essential for salvation!
Very delicate topics. And those topics get Bris'ed over rather quickly.
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Shulem
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Re: Smile and say, "Cheese"

Post by Shulem »

Rivendale wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:28 pm
Very delicate topics. And those topics get Bris'ed over rather quickly.

Well, if Jesus wasn't resurrected with his foreskin intact then what became of it when Joseph took a razor to it? Was it embalmed and placed in a sacred jar and taken to Egypt?

:o

Who knows what sacred relics and treasures remain under the sands by the Pyramids? Jesus's foreskin may yet be discovered! Imagine that!
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Rivendale
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Re: Smile and say, "Cheese"

Post by Rivendale »

Shulem wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:32 pm
Rivendale wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:28 pm
Very delicate topics. And those topics get Bris'ed over rather quickly.

Well, if Jesus wasn't resurrected with his foreskin intact then what became of it when Joseph took a razor to it? Was it embalmed and placed in a sacred jar and taken to Egypt?

:o

Who knows what sacred relics and treasures remain under the sands by the Pyramids? Jesus's foreskin may yet be discovered! Imagine that!
I prefer to think it was pickled.
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Shulem
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Foreskin Podcast

Post by Shulem »

Philo,

Perhaps you might consider doing a podcast on whether Jesus has a foreskin or not. The world has a right to know. And I'm sure that every member of the church would like to know.

Thanks for your consideration,

Shulem
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Shulem
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Behold:

Post by Shulem »

Jesus wrote:Thou shalt tell Shulem that it's none of his business whether I have a foreskin or not.

And tell him size doesn't matter.

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Shulem
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Lord, do you have a foreskin?

Post by Shulem »

Jesus wrote: Philo, get behind me. I never knew you.

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Rivendale
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Re: Behold:

Post by Rivendale »

:lol:
Shulem wrote:
Thu Nov 24, 2022 11:47 pm
Jesus wrote:Thou shalt tell Shulem that it's none of his business whether I have a foreskin or not.

And tell him size doesn't matter.

Image
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