Ever-shifting translation theories from Mopologists

[drumdude]

I didn’t realize it until now but DP has been using Hebraisms to describe me.

“Dumb dud”:

The Hebrew Word הממך and the Root d-m-m ("To Be Silent")

ד־ו־ד‎ (d-w-d)
From Proto-West Semitic *dād- (“paternal uncle”).

So many layers of complexity, DP clearly using silent in an ironic way as well as uncle, basically calling me his vocal nephew. Mirroring the Mormon theme of sealing by adoption. On his fathers side, which shows respect. It’s a real honor to discover DP’s Hebraistic word play as a hidden show of respect!

[Rivendale]

From some clay-brained idiot commenting on the foodie’s blog:

The Last Danite

Since the hebraims do exist within the Book of Mormon they demand an explanation from secular critics who all present wildly contradictory theories for the books origin. If one really presses a secular critic patiently and holds their feet to the logical fire they either get extremely defensive or angry. Simply ask them to explain, in detail, how it was accomplished. Demand explanations for the logistics, the conspirators, the motivations, the witnesses lives, how the book itself came to be. The book exists and the burden is upon the critic to explain where it came from with detailed receipts.

-_-

Every accusation is a confession.

- Doc

From a recent post paraphrased.

I got so sick of Gemli saying we don't have any evidence

. Stories of evidence.

[Philo Sofee]

From some clay-brained idiot commenting on the foodie’s blog:



-_-

Every accusation is a confession.

- Doc

From a recent post paraphrased.

I got so sick of Gemli saying we don't have any evidence

. Stories of evodence.

They ought to have been able to convince him of the superiority of their evidence instead of ad hominiming Gemli to death. This is evidence in itself that their evidence is not even thought to be good enough for them either, otherwise they could have and would have refuted the atheist. As it is, they failed, with their "abundance" of "evidence."

[runtu]

Do you remember the simpler times, when Joseph Smith was an actual translator? Pepperidge Farm remembers!

Joseph was depicted in LDS artwork as a diligent scholar, translating the reformed Egyptian as any other ancient document would be translated.

Some artists would add in the supernatural elements, the “interpreters.” Some weird breast plate thing, some weird spectacle glasses thing. But he’s still translating.

Well actually guys, apparently he mostly used a rock in a hat. Russell Nelson recently demonstrated it. We are supposed to think of it like an iPhone, without a very strong backlight. The hat was needed to make sure he could see the exact characters on the rock.

Well.. actually… sorry guys we need yet another explanation. Because Isaiah hadn’t written what was on the plates yet. And there are KJV errors in the Book of Mormon. Here’s the newest, and greatest version of the translation process:

When considering the the data, Skousen proposes that, instead of Joseph or Oliver looking at a Bible (the absence of a Bible now near-definitively confirmed by the manuscript evidence and the unequivocal statements of witnesses to the translation to the Book of Mormon), that God was simply able to provide the page of text from the King James Bible to Joseph's mind and then Joseph was free to alter the text as would be more comprehensible/comfortable to his 19th century, Northeastern, frontier audience. This theology of translation may feel foreign and a bit strange to some Latter-day Saints, but it seems to fit well with the Lord's own words about the nature of revelation to Joseph Smith. Latter-day Saints should take comfort in fact that the Lord accommodates his perfection to our own weakness and uses our imperfect language and nature for the building up of Zion on the earth.

https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/ans ... _of_Mormon

It all makes perfect sense. Laban was murdered so that the records could be carried across the ocean. So that it could not be included in the text that Mormon wrote. That Mormon carried from the Hill Cumorah in Central America to the other Hill Cumorah in upstate New York. So that Joseph could find the plates that he wouldn’t use, because the first draft would go missing, and then because he used a rock in a hat. Which he wouldn’t read the words off, because God was sending the text directly to his brain. So that Joseph could then alter it to say whatever he wanted.

Got it?

That is definitely in the top ten of stupid apologist tricks. Whoever wrote that drivel should be embarrassed. Sometimes I think they know how lame it all is.

[malkie]

Do you remember the simpler times, when Joseph Smith was an actual translator? Pepperidge Farm remembers!

Joseph was depicted in LDS artwork as a diligent scholar, translating the reformed Egyptian as any other ancient document would be translated.

Some artists would add in the supernatural elements, the “interpreters.” Some weird breast plate thing, some weird spectacle glasses thing. But he’s still translating.

Well actually guys, apparently he mostly used a rock in a hat. Russell Nelson recently demonstrated it. We are supposed to think of it like an iPhone, without a very strong backlight. The hat was needed to make sure he could see the exact characters on the rock.

Well.. actually… sorry guys we need yet another explanation. Because Isaiah hadn’t written what was on the plates yet. And there are KJV errors in the Book of Mormon. Here’s the newest, and greatest version of the translation process:

https://www.fairlatterdaysaints.org/ans ... _of_Mormon

It all makes perfect sense. Laban was murdered so that the records could be carried across the ocean. So that it could not be included in the text that Mormon wrote. That Mormon carried from the Hill Cumorah in Central America to the other Hill Cumorah in upstate New York. So that Joseph could find the plates that he wouldn’t use, because the first draft would go missing, and then because he used a rock in a hat. Which he wouldn’t read the words off, because God was sending the text directly to his brain. So that Joseph could then alter it to say whatever he wanted.

Got it?

That is definitely in the top ten of stupid apologist tricks. Whoever wrote that drivel should be embarrassed. Sometimes I think they know how lame it all is.

What's the alternative? Should we expect god to optimize the 17th century wording for Joseph's 19th century, Northeastern, frontier audience?

[Moksha]

Adjustments seem natural in transitioning a story from non-fiction to fiction. I mean, how you gonna keep them down on the farm once they have read Lord of the Rings and are not asked to fork over 10% of their income? There must be intermediate steps that apologists can formulate in order to make the tithing flow. A flexible gospel is a necessity in this circumstance.

[drumdude]

Adjustments seem natural in transitioning a story from non-fiction to fiction. I mean, how you gonna keep them down on the farm once they have read Lord of the Rings and are not asked to fork over 10% of their income? There must be intermediate steps that apologists can formulate in order to make the tithing flow. A flexible gospel is a necessity in this circumstance.

The only inflexible doctrine is that you must follow the brethren.

[Rivendale]

From a recent post paraphrased.. Stories of evodence.

They ought to have been able to convince him of the superiority of their evidence instead of ad hominiming Gemli to death. This is evidence in itself that their evidence is not even thought to be good enough for them either, otherwise they could have and would have refuted the atheist. As it is, they failed, with their "abundance" of "evidence."

Gemli held his own despite the onslaught. He was very particular as to who he responded to and his quick wit defanged most of them. It planted ear worms in all of them.

[Alphus and Omegus]

"Hebraisms" are everywhere, including "Green Eggs and Ham," as first documented in Dialogue in 2000 by Robert Patterson:

Code: Select all

I am Sam.
Sam I am.

I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
  I do not like green eggs and ham.
    Would you like them here or there?
      I would not like them here or there.
    I would not like them anywhere.
  I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

I bear testimony by the gift of the Holy Ghost that Dr. Seuss was a prophet of Doggerel.

[Moksha]

Adjustments seem natural in transitioning a story from non-fiction to fiction. I mean, how you gonna keep them down on the farm once they have read Lord of the Rings and are not asked to fork over 10% of their income? There must be intermediate steps that apologists can formulate in order to make the tithing flow. A flexible gospel is a necessity in this circumstance.

The only inflexible doctrine is that you must follow the brethren.

Kirton McConkie probably has a Reformed Egyptian disclaimer... in the small caractors.