A Guide To William Schryver’s Imagination or A Retrospective On The Man Who Predicted 47 Of The Last 0 Russian Victories

[Everybody Wang Chung]

Over the last four years of the Russo-Ukrainian War, William Schryver carved out a cozy niche in the pro-Putin corner of the internet. Schryver has been the leading Putin cheerleader of high-octane, hyper-confident, and spectacularly wrong predictions. Schryver didn't just drink the Putin Kool-Aid, he worships the man. Looking back, Schryver's claims didn't just miss the mark, they exited the atmosphere and settled on Kolob.

Lately, however, Schryver has been uncharacteristically quiet regarding how awesome Putin is and the "liberation" of Ukraine. He’s now pivoted his broken crystal ball toward Iran, where he now predicts that any day now a "Great Axis" of Russia, China, and North Korea will unite to support Iran and erase the United States from the map.

Before we follow Schryver into his next geopolitical hallucinations, let’s take a stroll down memory lane to revisit the wreckage of his previous predictions. Here are just a few of the most egregious, absurd, and unintentionally hilarious predictions from the man who never let reality get in his way:

- The War Would End In Weeks
In the Spring of 2022, Schryver repeatedly predicted that the Russian military was on the verge of executing a massive "cauldron" maneuver, which would lead to the total entrapment of the entire Ukrainian military via a grand pincer movement and the war would end in weeks.

- The Imminent Total Destruction of Ukraine's Military (Multiple Times)
Throughout 2022, 2023 and 2024, Schryver frequently posted that Ukraine's military had reached its breaking point and was effectively destroyed as a fighting force.

- The Invincibility of Russian Logistics
Schryver predicted numerous times that Russia’s proximity to the border and railroad-centric logistics made their supply lines invulnerable and uninterruptible by Ukraine.

- The Total Destruction of the Ukrainian Air Force (Day 1-3)
Schryver proclaimed that the Ukrainian Air Force was completely wiped out in the opening hours of the war and that Russia had achieved total air supremacy. Yet, here we are over 4 years later and watching the Ukrainian Air Force continue to fly sorties and use missiles like HARM and Storm Shadows against Russia.

- The Panic in the West and Immediate Cease of Aid
He predicted several times that Western depletion of stocks would lead to an immediate halt in military aid by late 2022, as NATO countries would realize the futility of the effort.

- The Surovikin Winter Offensive (Winter 2022-2023)
Schryver was convinced and predicted that Russian General Surovikin was preparing a massive, finale and total crushing winter offensive involving hundreds of thousands of newly mobilized troops that would end the war and force Ukraine's surrender within weeks.

- The Superiority of Russian Electronic Warfare
Schryver frequently claimed that Russia would electronically blind and deafen all Western tech, rendering GPS-guided munitions like HIMARS or Excalibur rounds completely useless within days of deployment.

- The Economic Suicide of Europe by Winter 2022 and Then Again in 2023
Schryver predicted that by the winter of 2022 (and again in 2023), the European economy would disintegrate due to the Russian gas cutoff, leading to mass uprisings and the total collapse of the pro-Ukraine coalition and NATO.

- The Phantom And Secret Russian Reserve Army
Throughout 2022 and 2023, Schryver often predicted that Russia had a massive, secret and phantom force (sometimes estimated at 300k–500k) that was being held back for a final blow once Putin decided that Ukraine had been punished enough.

- The Impending Capture of Odessa via Amphibious Assault
In the first half of 2022, Schryver suggested that a massive Russian naval landing in Odessa was not only inevitable but would be the final nail for the Ukrainian economy. He argued the Black Sea Fleet was an unstoppable force that would turn Ukraine into a landlocked pariah state by summer.

- The Inability of Ukraine to Strike Russian Territory
Schryver argued for most of 2022, 2023 and 2024 that Ukraine would never have the capability and the permission from the West to strike inside Russia, predicting the Russian border was an impenetrable red line for Ukrainian aviation and drones. Yet, here we are 4 years later and Ukraine is hitting Russian oil refineries, military airfields, and even targets in Moscow and the Urals, hundreds and even thousands of miles from the border.

- The Total Attrition of the 2023 Counter-Offensive in 48 Hours
At the very start of the summer 2023 counter-offensive, Schryver posted that the Ukrainian effort had failed in the first 48 hours and that Ukraine had lost its entire offensive capability in the initial minefields of Zaporizhzhia, and would be surrendering in the next few weeks.

- The Certainty of a Pro-Russian Polish Pivot
Several times Schryver predicted that Poland would eventually turn on Ukraine to reclaim historical territories in Western Ukraine (Lviv), stating that the Polish-Ukrainian alliance was a fragile facade about to crumble, and NATO would soon collapse.

- Russian Fatalities Would Never Exceed 60,000
Schryver predicted several times that Russian fatalities would not exceed 60,000. This last week Mediazona has verified over 350,000 (through probate records) Russian fatalities.

[I Have Questions]

Presumably Will’s loved ones have started enquiring as to the availability of places in some kind of mental care unit?

[malkie]

No need to be so harsh, Everybody Wang Chung: everyone makes mistakes

[Tom]

The Afore basking in the glow of his good friend Will Schryver’s geopolitical brilliance. Cedar City, Utah

[Philo Sofee]

The Afore basking in the glow of his good friend Will Schryver’s geopolitical brilliance. Cedar City, Utah

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

I just looked at his substack.

He talks like a retarded Brigham Young.

[Doctor CamNC4Me]

While begging for money, Bill posted this interesting bit:

FYI: Over the life of this blog, several generous people have honored me with voluntary blog subscriptions and tips. But I have never required a paid subscription to read my stuff. And I never will. Everyone will always be able to read everything I write.

That said, I earmark all donations for the Schryver Family Road Trip Fund. You have thereby helped me, a few times each year, fill up both tanks on my 1997 Ford F-350, pay for two hotel nights + a pizza for the boys, and a take out dinner for me and my wife — for which I express my genuine gratitude. I hope my writing has been informative in some small manner and aided you in your quest to understand our crazy world a little better.

— Will Schryver

Was Bill a paid shill for pro-Russian propaganda?

[Tim]

I couldn't figure out how he had so many followers and then figured out what Russian bot accounts were for.

I once asked what Russia was doing about the Western Ukrainian supply lines from Europe. I was promptly blocked.

[Everybody Wang Chung]

I couldn't figure out how he had so many followers and then figured out what Russian bot accounts were for.

I once asked what Russia was doing about the Eastern Ukrainian supply lines from Europe. I was promptly blocked.

Tim, don’t feel bad. I was banned back in 2022 for asking Comrade Schryver this question:

“Does the Kremlin pay you by the word or do you just get a flat rate?”

Putin’s Pen Pal is known for a block-first, ask-questions-never policy. Agent Williamovich Schryver is most likely a paid shill for pro-Russian propaganda. Because statistically speaking, this level of incompetence should be impossible to achieve by accident.

[Gadianton]

I couldn't figure out how he had so many followers and then figured out what Russian bot accounts were for.

I once asked what Russia was doing about the Eastern Ukrainian supply lines from Europe. I was promptly blocked.

I was also blocked for asking an innocuous question -- not that it isn't hard to get around the block, but it is humorous he is so sensitive about his knowledge. Even the Russian bots must use AI to figure out what they can say to that's flattering enough to avoid getting blocked.