why I can't "leave the church alone"

[_karl61]

for me, when I come to this site it's almost like when I started going to my local state university after community college. I am the first one in my family to get a degree. When I went to the local community college, I found the teachers interesting. But when I transfered to the local state university, it was a whole different experience. Mostly all my upper division psychology classes were from tenured professors. I was just amazed at the information they had access to and how they addressed a certain issue. It was very exciting for me. I love my parents, but as I get older I see that they did not have a lot of critical thinking skills. Everything was based on fear. If it was not at home then fear was used at church. 'Brothers and sisters we must do this, the Lord expects this etc. Here, I read thoughts that I have had for a long time but they are written so much better than I could put down on paper. For me it's a website with a lot of tutors. The School of the prophets. For twenty-five years I thought that I wasn't a good person and had the possibility and likelyhood of ending up in hell. Here, I'm gradually able to see that I'm likely going to be okay and with therapy, medication and reading the thoughts here and in books, I am starting to get well.

edit in: and thanks Seth for the article on JW's. I always let them give their pitch on the door step. It takes about five minutes but I get a something to read. They have great pamplets on the old testament. a pretty basic look at it without the LDS spin. But Mormonism is JW on meth and steroids. JW's have a faith based on the Bible and it looks like a council but for LDS the list of cannon and thoughts you need to accept is a four hundred pound backpack on the mind; JW's backpack is about a hundred pounder.

[_Jason Bourne]

I had a revelation tonight. Considering how long I've tried to figure out why discussing Mormonism still interests me, obviously I am a slow learner.

It's not the church I can't leave alone. It's exmormons. I can't leave exmormons alone.

Reading mms' painful explorations reminded me of how exquisitely painful it was to lose faith in the LDS church, to have my entire world view ripped from me. There are a couple of experiences I've had in life that have been so horrendously painful that they "marked" me in a way, and while I have learned to deal with these losses or traumas and still enjoy life, I can't pretend these marks aren't there. They make me me.

Being an exmormon is one of those marks. It will always be. And I still crave the company of those who share that mark, the only people who really understand it all - other exmormons.

(insert brokeback mountain soundtrack... "I wish I could quit you..."

not really, I actually enjoy the company of exmormons, I just couldn't resist the reference)

In fact, this experience marked me so deeply that I always knew I could only be really intimate with another exmormon. I really don't think anyone else could understand me.

I'm really not that all interested in the LDS church per se, or even apologia anymore, although I admit I am "recovering from internet Mormon apologetics". I just like being around and talking with other exmormons.

How intriguing. I think you are right on with this. You are a pretty bright person you know. I respect you greatly even though I do not always agree with you......though sometimes I do.

[_barrelomonkeys]

Beastie it's always been obvious to me that you frequent the boards for the people.

I'm so thankful that you do!

[_beastie]

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I really don't know why it took me so long to figure this out.

Of course I don't enjoy the company of ALL exmormons, (and wavering Mormons) but in general, I think what I relate to is the fact that we tend to be a group who has seriously thought about certain issues and grappled with them as best we could. It seems to me that many people in life don't do that. I'm not faulting them, it's easy to be so busy with the details of life that one doesn't even have the energy or time to think about "serious issues" (I don't know what word to use other than serious, philosophical is not quite right, either...) But I've spent so much of my mental energy, throughout my life, on these issues that I crave the company of those who have done the same - even if our conclusions are different in the end.

This tendency of mine is why I joined the LDS church in the first place. I was a teenager, but I had spent my later childhood and early teens grappling with the God issue, and with ethics. For whatever reason, I simply could not believe because my parents did. I had to try to figure it out on my own. That resulted in a questioning mind, regarding religion, which is why I listened to the missionaries.

Becoming exLDS doesn't magically erase that tendency, nor the desire to associate with others who share that tendency.

So thanks for being my mini-tribe!

(ps, thanks, Jason and monkeys, I'm blushing ;)

[_Maxrep]

Hi Beastie...

In fact, this experience marked me so deeply that I always knew I could only be really intimate with another exmormon. I really don't think anyone else could understand me.

I don't think anyone unfamiliar with the LDS church can possibly grasp what it means to be a member and what it means to have lost belief.

I've been fortunate enough to have found a like minded friend in my local ward. Our families get together with some frequency too. The level of understanding in this type of situation is priceless. I have also mentioned on this board of hearing from an out of state friend who has discovered the internet over the past couple of years. The perfectly "synced" communication by individuals who share such an intricate and lengthy experience can be electrifying.

[_why me]

To be an ex-anything can be a painful experience. Divorces are usually painful. One spouse feels bitter toward the other spouse. And there can be anger. An ex-catholic can also be angry with the catholic church, if suddenly belief is lost.

Being an ex is not easy. Just ask any ex. At times the ex can experience happiness because they are out of an oppressive relationship. But finding a new way, can be painful too.

Exmormons who post on the internet seem to be an angry, whinning bunch of people. They post mockingly of the LDS, try to reenforce their new belief with 'evidence' to justify their new 'faith'. Why? That is the question.

I have no problems with exmormons except when they post on the internet in a 'blame' type of post. People loose faith in their religion all the time. It does not matter what the faith, faith is lost. Why be angry? Why be bitter?

As I have said, over and over again, the LDS church has not been proven false. If one weighs the evidence and says guilty, fine. If one weighs the evidence and says: not guilty, fine. But at the end of the day, no one has proven that Joseph Smith or Sidney or OLiver wrote the Book of Mormon. And so why be angry? It doesn't make sense.

Look upon the loss of faith as a natural by product of being human, and move on.

[_Blixa]

To be an ex-anything can be a painful experience. Divorces are usually painful. One spouse feels bitter toward the other spouse. And there can be anger. An ex-catholic can also be angry with the catholic church, if suddenly belief is lost.

Being an ex is not easy. Just ask any ex. At times the ex can experience happiness because they are out of an oppressive relationship. But finding a new way, can be painful too.

Exmormons who post on the internet seem to be an angry, whinning bunch of people. They post mockingly of the LDS, try to reenforce their new belief with 'evidence' to justify their new 'faith'. Why? That is the question.

I have no problems with exmormons except when they post on the internet in a 'blame' type of post. People loose faith in their religion all the time. It does not matter what the faith, faith is lost. Why be angry? Why be bitter?

As I have said, over and over again, the LDS church has not been proven false. If one weighs the evidence and says guilty, fine. If one weighs the evidence and says: not guilty, fine. But at the end of the day, no one has proven that Joseph Smith or Sidney or OLiver wrote the Book of Mormon. And so why be angry? It doesn't make sense.

Look upon the loss of faith as a natural by product of being human, and move on.

I never "lost faith." I never much had it. "The Church" is hegemonic in Utah. It's influence seeps in with the ground water. Dale Morgon called Deseret a "ghost state," but it is a very uneasy spirit who still haunts the legislative halls throught the West and is rattling its chains upon ground of the White House, now.

That's what I hate. Theocracy. Especially the misogynstic and racist brand peddled by salesmen (though less successfully than perhaps formerly) near and far.

[_why me]

To be an ex-anything can be a painful experience. Divorces are usually painful. One spouse feels bitter toward the other spouse. And there can be anger. An ex-catholic can also be angry with the catholic church, if suddenly belief is lost.

Being an ex is not easy. Just ask any ex. At times the ex can experience happiness because they are out of an oppressive relationship. But finding a new way, can be painful too.

Exmormons who post on the internet seem to be an angry, whinning bunch of people. They post mockingly of the LDS, try to reenforce their new belief with 'evidence' to justify their new 'faith'. Why? That is the question.

I have no problems with exmormons except when they post on the internet in a 'blame' type of post. People loose faith in their religion all the time. It does not matter what the faith, faith is lost. Why be angry? Why be bitter?

As I have said, over and over again, the LDS church has not been proven false. If one weighs the evidence and says guilty, fine. If one weighs the evidence and says: not guilty, fine. But at the end of the day, no one has proven that Joseph Smith or Sidney or OLiver wrote the Book of Mormon. And so why be angry? It doesn't make sense.

Look upon the loss of faith as a natural by product of being human, and move on.

I never "lost faith." I never much had it. "The Church" is hegemonic in Utah. It's influence seeps in with the ground water. Dale Morgon called Deseret a "ghost state," but it is a very uneasy spirit who still haunts the legislative halls throught the West and is rattling its chains upon ground of the White House, now.

That's what I hate. Theocracy. Especially the misogynstic and racist brand peddled by salesmen (though less successfully than perhaps formerly) near and far.

I agree with you. Unfortunately, exers from utah tend to think that all Mormons are like utah Mormons. They're not. In the D & C, the lord is condemning the saints for their behavior and actions. The utah Mormons need to take the lords council to heart.

[_Sethbag]

As I have said, over and over again, the LDS church has not been proven false.

Yes it has. You're like Johnny Cochran running around saying "if the glove don't fit, you must aquit" when everybody knows OJ really did do it. There's just too much damning evidence.

The church can be proven wrong easily. The church teaches that the Flood of Noah, which supposedly occurred four or five thousand years ago, was global in scope, and wiped out all people on Earth save Noah and his family. It can be proven scientifically that this didn't happen. There you go. The LDS church is demonstrably wrong, in a case of pronouncements made by and supported as revealed "truth" through supposed Prophets of God. You can whine, and you can wheedle, and you can squirm all you want, and try to make retarded excuses about Prophets of God speaking as men, but in the end, the Prophets simply have no pipeline to God. They always speak as men because that's all they are, no more, no less.

[_why me]

As I have said, over and over again, the LDS church has not been proven false.

Yes it has. You're like Johnny Cochran running around saying "if the glove don't fit, you must aquit" when everybody knows OJ really did do it. There's just too much damning evidence.

The church can be proven wrong easily. The church teaches that the Flood of Noah, which supposedly occurred four or five thousand years ago, was global in scope, and wiped out all people on Earth save Noah and his family. It can be proven scientifically that this didn't happen. There you go. The LDS church is demonstrably wrong, in a case of pronouncements made by and supported as revealed "truth" through supposed Prophets of God. You can whine, and you can wheedle, and you can squirm all you want, and try to make retarded excuses about Prophets of God speaking as men, but in the end, the Prophets simply have no pipeline to God. They always speak as men because that's all they are, no more, no less.

Good play on words. However, as you know, I was referring to the Book of Mormon. Of course you have your opinion and you are also expressing truths in your above post. I suppose that we all have truths. I will not tell you that your truth is wrong. But I am sure that you will gladly tell the LDS that their truth is wrong.