100 Greatest Quotes from fundamentalist christian chat rooms

[_krose]

One of many gems (some are too disturbing to laugh at):

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!
EnemyPartyII

You got me. Checkmate!

[_harmony]

For example, there is evidence for the wh0re of Babylon due to a 666 mile long penis in Mexico."

Well, there you have it. Proof positive that we should have annexed Mexico.

[_Gazelam]

And these people are out there among us, driving cars on the freeways at speeds in excess of 75 mph......

[_Gadianton]

I thought, I'll just read a couple, and I got entirely sucked in. That was just, amazing. What was that Salmon guy saying today about atheists online?

[_The Nehor]

I suspect some of these were planted or were people joking. Some of them probably not though.

[_EAllusion]

I read this a couple of times before. I've always wondered how many were people just parodying the fundamentalists and how many are from actual fundamentalists. The fact that it is nigh-impossible to tell the difference is a commentary in its ownright.

The first two are laugh out loud funny.

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

[_Infymus]

Jesus Nehor, you can sit and bash them and yet your Cult sits and spews out the same things?

I can't tell you the number of times I was told in Mormon Seminary that Dinosaurs never existed on Earth. This Earth was a mixture of many planets and Dinosaurs existed elsewhere and Satan is now using them to confuse men into turning away from God.

Nice.

Like I said before. It's OK WHEN WE DO IT. Right? Right.

My cult sacrifices infants to Cthulu and is beyond comprehension, please do not malign it or you will be eaten last when the Elder Gods arise.

Your Seminary Teacher was most likely wrong. That was not in their manual. Some of us finished Seminary and studied more and figured out what fit and what didn't. We also discovered ideas we had that were childish that needed to be revised. To be ignorant is not a sin but choosing to stay that way probably is.

Ah yes, again, with your limited view on your Cult membership. Back to the "crappy" status of members who just didn't get it. You know, those poor souls who took everything on the bastardized Mormon word "Faith". Members who did not know or understand that they *could* actually challenge their Priesthood leaders. Members who believed every word that preceded forth out of the mouth of the teachers, leaders and prophets of the so-called "One And Only True Church".

What is it with you Mormons who lay the blame at the feet of the innocent?

[_Blixa]

It is hard to determine the genuine article here--some of them MUST be parodys---but even if only a few are genuine its a pretty sad commentary on education. Of course thinking about some of the things I've heard from students, I don't know why I'm doubting any of this at all. Just last semester I had a student who was genuinely baffled over the idea that a gay man could produce children with a woman.

[_The Nehor]

Jesus Nehor, you can sit and bash them and yet your Cult sits and spews out the same things?

I can't tell you the number of times I was told in Mormon Seminary that Dinosaurs never existed on Earth. This Earth was a mixture of many planets and Dinosaurs existed elsewhere and Satan is now using them to confuse men into turning away from God.

Nice.

Like I said before. It's OK WHEN WE DO IT. Right? Right.

My cult sacrifices infants to Cthulu and is beyond comprehension, please do not malign it or you will be eaten last when the Elder Gods arise.

Your Seminary Teacher was most likely wrong. That was not in their manual. Some of us finished Seminary and studied more and figured out what fit and what didn't. We also discovered ideas we had that were childish that needed to be revised. To be ignorant is not a sin but choosing to stay that way probably is.

Ah yes, again, with your limited view on your Cult membership. Back to the "crappy" status of members who just didn't get it. You know, those poor souls who took everything on the bastardized Mormon word "Faith". Members who did not know or understand that they *could* actually challenge their Priesthood leaders. Members who believed every word that preceded forth out of the mouth of the teachers, leaders and prophets of the so-called "One And Only True Church".

What is it with you Mormons who lay the blame at the feet of the innocent?

Can we switch innocent out with ignorant or lazy in this case? Take some responsibility for what you chose to learn and what you chose to believe. If you feel it was a mistake, then move on. This victim mentality really demeans yourself.

[_Infymus]

Ah yes, again, with your limited view on your Cult membership. Back to the "crappy" status of members who just didn't get it. You know, those poor souls who took everything on the bastardized Mormon word "Faith". Members who did not know or understand that they *could* actually challenge their Priesthood leaders. Members who believed every word that preceded forth out of the mouth of the teachers, leaders and prophets of the so-called "One And Only True Church".

What is it with you Mormons who lay the blame at the feet of the innocent?

Can we switch innocent out with ignorant or lazy in this case? Take some responsibility for what you chose to learn and what you chose to believe. If you feel it was a mistake, then move on. This victim mentality really demeans yourself.

You are still blaming the member - not just me, but any member who falls away.

Why can't you just accept that your Cult teaches members to obey. Just because you know that Dinosaurs did not come from other planets does not mean that a majority of Mormons believe it. It may have been a full Faith-Promoting Rumor indeed, but, your Cult teaches members to obey - and many do without questioning. Mormonism teaches that total faith is the ultimate achievement. If you have a doubt, then you are failing. When Peter doubted, he sank into the water. Doubt in Christianity and Mormonism - is the faith killer.

And when they do obey and fall into believing these FPRS without doubting, you criticize them, calling them ignorant, lazy or "crappy".

Sounds like you need to re-think your position in Mormonism Nehor and stop being so judgmental and critical of your own kind.

Really the truth is that those who stay in the Cult will avoid your persecution. Those who fall away will be seriously judged as you have to rationalize away why they left.