Petition to Ban Droopy From Using the Word "Philosophical"

[_EAllusion]

I go back and forth with myself over whether Droopy is a troll or not. Obviously he's trolling on some level. He clearly is self-aware about provoking others with offense. But is he just a character of someone or is he an actual person? Is he, like the most effective trolls, just an exaggeration of some already wrong-headed views the writer holds? I don't know.

One thing I do know is his persona has a real bad habit of trying to sound more educated and intelligent than he is with terms that sound learned. And this leads to some hilariously clunky writing and some unfortunate misuses. It makes him look like a dunce desperately trying to sound smart. It's hard not to have pity for that, but his constant insults help on that front.

[_moksha]

Obviously he's trolling on some level. He clearly is self-aware about provoking others with offense.

I think he is unconcerned with how his posts will be perceived, thus he does not restrain himself. Certainly being an agent provocateur is not limited to Loran. For what it is worth, he is much kinder than Pahoran.

[_Kishkumen]

Real stand-up of you, Kish. Seriously.

Do you prefer poetry?

[_Kishkumen]

For what it is worth, he is much kinder than Pahoran.

Oh geez. I wouldn't even waste my breath on that butt-wipe. At least Loran is a human being.

[_Dwight Frye]

So true. And, I almost feel a real sense of pity. Sometimes I imagine Drippy to be this terribly lonely person. He's in his fifties. His wife is burrowing ever deeper into the sofa they rescued from their neighbor's curb as she drinks in "Dancing with the Stars." Drippy sits there at his ancient computer that he cobbled together from parts he found at D.I., tapping furiously at the keyboard until his wife screams for him to "quit making all of that infernal racket." The trailer just isn't big enough for any real privacy, but it made it much easier for him to kick the porn habit. He is slurping the juice from the bottom of a can of expired peach wedges, trying to lick the last drop of syrup from the jagged edge of its pealed back top without cutting his tongue. He reaches for his thesaurus, its outer margins caked in infinite layers of ancient saliva mixed with peach syrup to the point of being as brown as a turd. Tomorrow is another long day laying sod, and his one refuge from this hell he lives in is the righteous, orotund bellowing of Rush Limbaugh as he drives his beat up truck from yard to yard in Kershaw. The picture is almost poignant. Then you remember the guy is a real jerk wad.

First, let me go on the record and say that I like Droopy. He's a funny guy, and not just in the I'm laughing at him sense -- I genuinely appreciate his sense of humor. I imagine Droopy would be a fun guy to have over for a barbecue or brunch or whatever it is people do. That being said, the above by Kishkumen was just an absolute delight to read. Nothing short of sheer comedic brilliance from start to finish. I am laughing so hard it smarts. It smarts real bad.

I stand all amazed at the talent and ability and genius that routinely manifests itself on this board. Truly, I am in the company of greatness.

[_Kishkumen]

First, let me go on the record and say that I like Droopy. He's a funny guy, and not just in the I'm laughing at him sense -- I genuinely appreciate his sense of humor. I imagine Droopy would be a fun guy to have over for a barbecue or brunch or whatever it is people do. That being said, the above by Kishkumen was just an absolute delight to read. Nothing short of sheer comedic brilliance from start to finish. I am laughing so hard it smarts. It smarts real bad.

I am glad you enjoyed it. It was a joke, and I don't actually believe that it represents Loran at all accurately. Loran is a reasonably intelligent autodidact. I do regret that he and bc seem to have fallen victim to what I consider a virulent and destructive, populist strain in the conservative movement, and I know they find my criticisms of Mormonism offensive in the extreme, so there is too much distance between us to ever share a grill at the cookout, but I have a soft spot for Loran. There is something truly human about him, and I actually find his songs about us "Ex-Mos" to be genuinely funny. I have no problem laughing at my own silliness.

[_harmony]

Obviously he's trolling on some level. He clearly is self-aware about provoking others with offense.

I think he is unconcerned with how his posts will be perceived, thus he does not restrain himself. Certainly being an agent provocateur is not limited to Loran. For what it is worth, he is much kinder than Pahoran.

Pahoran is a shark with few if any redeeming qualities. Droop at least has a sense of humor.

[_Kishkumen]

Mrs. Kishkumen thought bringing up Mrs. Droopy in that way was hitting below the belt. My apologies to Mr. and Mrs. Droopy.

[_Yoda]

Mrs. Kishkumen thought bringing up Mrs. Droopy in that way was hitting below the belt. My apologies to Mr. and Mrs. Droopy.

Mrs. Kish is a wise woman.

[_harmony]

Mrs. Kishkumen thought bringing up Mrs. Droopy in that way was hitting below the belt. My apologies to Mr. and Mrs. Droopy.

Mrs. Kish is a wise woman.

And probably long-suffering too.