Stake Pres coming to visit

[_LDSToronto]

OK, Zee, I'm going to help you out. When the SP comes calling, he's usually not coming for a social visit. Either you are going to be extended a calling (unlikely in your case) or he's coming to issue a challenge (more likely). He's already spoken to your bishop, and knows that you didn't really want to talk with the bishop about stuff (If I recall correctly from a previous thread).

He's most likely thought about, "What's next for Zee and Mrs. Zee". He is going to be very forthright with you, and use the commitment pattern. It will go something like this:

"Zee, I've prayed, and the Lord has sent me on this errand to give you a message. I was give the impression that you and Mrs. Zee need to live worthy to enter the temple. Will you commit, right now, to work with me towards getting a temple recommend?"

Or something to that effect - it may not be a temple recommend, but usually, for endowed members who have gone inactive, it's a fairly standard issue challenge.

I assume that a TR is not in your future. If that's the case, you have to be honest with him. Damn it, it's the hardest thing in the world to do, trust me, I know from experience. But, if you lead him on, he will continue to seek you out. You have no obligation to discuss any reason for saying no, but you should pick a side. And you can qualify your 'no' as well. You can say, "No, I don't accept your challenge. However, I'm not closing the door to a personal relationship, to home teachers, to missionaries, to attending sacrament every so often, etc".

It's taken me a while to realize this, but here is the secret: You get to set the boundaries of interaction. You hold all the cards. No one else does. You get to say 'yes' to what you want to say 'yes' to, and you get to say 'no' to what you want to say 'no' to. It's powerful thing to realize.

Best of luck, Zee. Regardless of how it turns out, keep us informed, and no matter what you say to your SP, you'll get nothing but support from me.

H.

[_LDSToronto]

I'm still WTFing over the "bride" thing.

It's Mormon colloquial English;I hear it all the time. It implies that one's wife is youthful and full of beauty.

H.

[_just me]

I'm still WTFing over the "bride" thing.

I think it's cool. (And not so uncommon.)

To each their own. I have a name. Ya know what I mean? But, then I also hate how they used to call women Mrs. Husbands Name.

SORRY for the derail! Zee, you are too nice and awesome! Offer them some libations in behalf of the Goddess and burn candles and incense when they come. Double dog dare.

[_cafe crema]

I'm still WTFing over the "bride" thing.

I think it's cool. (And not so uncommon.)

Whether it's cool or not depends on who used "bride" if it was Z's word used here referring to his wife then yes it's cool. If it was the men who called him then it's WTF. Z's use is an endearment, their using it is marginalization. Either way I've never found it "not so uncommon" since I've never heard it outside of a newly married couple situation.

[_Morley]

Whether it's cool or not depends on who used "bride" if it was Z's word used here referring to his wife then yes it's cool. If it was the men who called him then it's WTF. Z's use is an endearment, their using it is marginalization. Either way I've never found it "not so uncommon" since I've never heard it outside of a newly married couple situation.

You're right. I just assumed it was Z's term. Argh. Now I'm all creeped out. Ack!

Edited to add: I will start taking reading comprehension classes tomorrow. Apparently I could use some.

[_zeezrom]

I think he used it (bride) as a way to remind me that I am sealed to her. Thanks to the all important Mel. Preisthood, I was sealed to her! Thanks to God who sent P, J, & J to lay their hands on Joseph's head and bestow the power of God (which had been missing in its fulness) on him and Oliver. It was so important, God made sure church leaders added documentation of such event retroactively into D&C in 1835.

He used the term "bride" to remind me that I have made a commitment to her in a House of God. I'm committed to be honest and forthright with her. I'm reminded that God would never want me to hurt my dear wife's trust. If God commanded me to do something for him, no matter what it might be, he would want my "bride" to be involved in the decision making process, allowing her to use her divine gift of free agency.

I hope this discussion doesn't go toward Joseph's marital escapades. That wouldn't be good.

[_Morley]

I think he used it (bride) as a way to remind me that I am sealed to her. Thanks to the all important Mel. Preisthood, I was sealed to her! Thanks to God who sent P, J, & J to lay their hands on Joseph's head and bestow the power of God (which had been missing in its fulness) on him and Oliver. It was so important, God made sure church leaders added documentation of such event retroactively into D&C in 1835.

He used the term "bride" to remind me that I have made a commitment to her in a House of God. I'm committed to be honest and forthright with her. I'm reminded that God would never want me to hurt my dear wife's trust. If God commanded me to do something for him, no matter what it might be, he would want my "bride" to be involved in the decision making process, allowing her to use her divine gift of free agency.

I hope this discussion doesn't go toward Joseph's marital escapades. That wouldn't be good.

I'll sacrifice a goat to Athena for you, Zeez.

[_zeezrom]

Thanks Honor and LDST. I'll let you know how it goes! My SP is the father of my long time friend and also happens to be friends with my dad. I'm guessing my dad has been talking to SP, since they still keep in touch.

SP is familiar with RSR and has helped another one of my friends come to a resolution with Mormonism. He is known for his ability to help doubters.

LDST- yeah, he isn't going to extend a calling.

I'm seriously concerned about the church making people think the Mel. Priesthood was restored in early June 1828. I just read about this in Quinn's Origins of Power and I'm left with a feeling of disgust. I see now that the church felt a need for validation and therefore added documentation retroactively. Just another checkmark to add to my huge list of betrayals.

[_zeezrom]

Morley,

She has settled down over the years. Maybe she has become weary of people ignoring her. I've found that her thirst for blood has significantly diminished.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

Give him HELL, Z.