Marriage: What is the point?

[_zeezrom]

You're right children can live in a stable environment if the parents aren't married. Is it just as certain either way? I don't know.

[_Quasimodo]

Just a thought.

Marriage makes separating a little (a lot) more difficult.

Relationships always go through ups and downs. Maybe the painful experience of a legal divorce slows the process down and allows time for a couple to think better of their separation and find ways to resolve their problems.

I understand that sometimes a workable solution is not an option. Then a divorce might be a good thing. Often, though, what seems to be an insurmountable problem at the moment, can be forgotten over a short time and the relationship can be saved. That's especially good if there are children involved.

[_Rambo]

Sometimes I don't know about marriage. All the guys I know that are married are usually bossed around by their wives. They are also constantly being nagged by them as well and they have a schedule planned out for them that they really don't want to do.

Being single has its perks! You can do whatever the hell you want and no one is nagging you.

Then again it sometimes would be nice going through life with someone you can share experiences with and have childern with. If I was going to have kids then I would most likely want to get married.

I'm going to start a new thread about kids.

[_just me]

Sometimes I don't know about marriage. All the guys I know that are married are usually bossed around by their wives. They are also constantly being nagged by them as well and they have a schedule planned out for them that they really don't want to do.

Being single has its perks! You can do whatever the hell you want and no one is nagging you.

Boundaries. Most people don't seem to know how to set personal boundaries. There are things they could do to make the nagging stop.

This also kinda speaks to the problem of expectations. Well, and poor communication.

[_zeezrom]

oooh, I have another perk of marriage. Well, you have to be married Mormon for this.

You get the option later on (assuming you stop believing in Mormonism) to renew your vows outside of the temple. You can do it just the way that you dream about. You can become Catholic and get married again just the way Maria and Captain Von Trapp did it. Or, you can go to the beach and do it the way of the Makah. You can do it however the hell you want (using Rambo language).

[_Rambo]

Boundaries. Most people don't seem to know how to set personal boundaries. There are things they could do to make the nagging stop.

This also kinda speaks to the problem of expectations. Well, and poor communication.

I don't know justme... I think if these guys set boundries it would make their wives even more upset. Seriously most the guys I know really don't have fun lives. They complain to me all the time that they have to go to this wedding reception, in-laws house, church activity, or some other boring thing. They actually seem trapped in a way. The odd time they do get to do something they want their wives always have a clock on them.

There is a reason why they call their spouses the ball and chain.

[_Some Schmo]

I don't know justme... I think if these guys set boundries it would make their wives even more upset. Seriously most the guys I know really don't have fun lives. They complain to me all the time that they have to go to this wedding reception, in-laws house, church activity, or some other boring thing. They actually seem trapped in a way. The odd time they do get to do something they want their wives always have a clock on them.

There is a reason why they call their spouses the ball and chain.

While I've heard about relationships like this, I don't think it's the majority (I sure hope not, anyway).

My wife wants me to do things I don't like to do sometimes. I generally do them because they make her happy, and the pain of doing them is less than the pain of her disappointment (when it's really important to her, anyway). That doesn't mean I do every single thing she asks me to do; sometimes, I let her know there's no damned way so she understands and backs off.

And this arrangement goes both ways.

The point is compromise. Sometimes I get what I want, sometimes she does, and in the end, I believe I'm better off with her than without her. It's really that simple.

I'll tell you this; if I were one of the husbands you described for long, I would not be for long. I readily admit that my wife is awesome.

[_Jersey Girl]

I *never* intended to get married--ever. I didn't trust that a marriage could last and I sure as hell never wanted kids! Men were undependable, I wanted my flipping independence, and children were a messy inconvenience.

I have been married for (what year is it? I have to do the math :-) well, longer than most on this thread have probably been alive and not only did I have kids, I ended up in a child-related profession.

What is the point? I don't know. Maybe the point is to show you that you're freakin' wrong!

:-D

[_just me]

Boundaries. Most people don't seem to know how to set personal boundaries. There are things they could do to make the nagging stop.

This also kinda speaks to the problem of expectations. Well, and poor communication.

I don't know justme... I think if these guys set boundries it would make their wives even more upset. Seriously most the guys I know really don't have fun lives. They complain to me all the time that they have to go to this wedding reception, in-laws house, church activity, or some other boring thing. They actually seem trapped in a way. The odd time they do get to do something they want their wives always have a clock on them.

There is a reason why they call their spouses the ball and chain.

They all need to buy a copy of Married Man Sex Life. Or just check out the blog. Heh. The word Mormon is on his first page right now. LOL

Disclaimer: I do not 100% agree with everything is said book and blog. I hate some of the comments on the blog as some are very anti-woman. I haven't even read the book, yet. Here is a review of it on Mormon Men blog.

[_Jersey Girl]

It basically lets the authorities know who gets whose s*** when someone dies, and who can be in the room at the hospital.

and who can authorize pulling the plug. Yeah, I said it, so sue me. ;-)