Honor thy father and thy mother

[_Yoda]

She thinks her TR is evidence of her Chief Judgeship, that and her calling as Relief Society Pres.

No offense because I know she is your sister, but she is acting like an asshole. And I would tell her as much to her face.

[_sock puppet]

If it were me, I'd call her on it. Let her know that what she is doing is absolutely wrong, and she needs to repent. And if it were my mother, I'd have a long talk with her about not putting up with crap from her kids.

I've called my sister on it, only to face her religious wrath--how, after all, would I know anything about how to treat people since I do not believe in god, I do not pay tithing, I do not home teach, I do not have a testimony to bear once a month. The treatment of my mother the ensuing three months was actually worse.

As for my mother, I've comforted her while she has cried to me about the situations, time and time again. She's been to a psychologist who told mom to hang up on my sister when she gets abusive. Though it is my place to try and protect my mother, it is not my place to suggest to my mother how she treat her daughter. And because it is her only daughter, one of two children, my mother's hope for being treated like a human by her daughter springs eternal.

I truly would like to see the Brethren stress this commandment more. Once in a while at a GC, I'll hear a talk about it. But it is rare (though not as rare as mention of the face in the hat translation method).

I appreciate your sympathy and your suggestions. I guess it's just that we're on the heels of another holiday season having ended, and my mother has been subjected to some of the most vile treatment over the phone that I can imagine, given my mother's trusting, hopeful and open nature. I just notice this behavior more among believing Mormons to their non-believing parents than I do, say, believing Catholics or Presbyterians towards their non-believing parents.

[_sock puppet]

She thinks her TR is evidence of her Chief Judgeship, that and her calling as Relief Society Pres.

No offense because I know she is your sister, but she is acting like an asshole. And I would tell her as much to her face.

No offense. I too think she is worthy of that appellation, even though I would not mention it to my mother.

[_Runtu]

I've called my sister on it, only to face her religious wrath--how, after all, would I know anything about how to treat people since I do not believe in god, I do not pay tithing, I do not home teach, I do not have a testimony to bear once a month. The treatment of my mother the ensuing three months was actually worse.

As for my mother, I've comforted her while she has cried to me about the situations, time and time again. She's been to a psychologist who told mom to hang up on my sister when she gets abusive. Though it is my place to try and protect my mother, it is not my place to suggest to my mother how she treat her daughter. And because it is her only daughter, one of two children, my mother's hope for being treated like a human by her daughter springs eternal.

I truly would like to see the Brethren stress this commandment more. Once in a while at a GC, I'll hear a talk about it. But it is rare (though not as rare as mention of the face in the hat translation method).

I appreciate your sympathy and your suggestions. I guess it's just that we're on the heels of another holiday season having ended, and my mother has been subjected to some of the most vile treatment over the phone that I can imagine, given my mother's trusting, hopeful and open nature. I just notice this behavior more among believing Mormons to their non-believing parents than I do, say, believing Catholics or Presbyterians towards their non-believing parents.

Well, yeah, people leave other churches all the time without any big consequences. When I went to a therapist in Texas, he couldn't understand. He said, "I grew up Methodist, but my wife is Presbyterian, so I changed religions." It wasn't until I got here to Utah that I found a therapist who understood. She said, "They don't make it easy to leave, do they? And that's intentional."

You could always call your sister's bishop. :)

[_Yoda]

Sock Puppet, is there someone in her ward who you are friends with that you might be able to confide what is going on? Maybe, since she is Relief Society President, if the bishop pulled her into his office and had a talk with her, it would change her attitude?

[_Yoda]

You could always call your sister's bishop. :)

Ha! Great minds!

[_sock puppet]

I've called my sister on it, only to face her religious wrath--how, after all, would I know anything about how to treat people since I do not believe in god, I do not pay tithing, I do not home teach, I do not have a testimony to bear once a month. The treatment of my mother the ensuing three months was actually worse.

As for my mother, I've comforted her while she has cried to me about the situations, time and time again. She's been to a psychologist who told mom to hang up on my sister when she gets abusive. Though it is my place to try and protect my mother, it is not my place to suggest to my mother how she treat her daughter. And because it is her only daughter, one of two children, my mother's hope for being treated like a human by her daughter springs eternal.

I truly would like to see the Brethren stress this commandment more. Once in a while at a GC, I'll hear a talk about it. But it is rare (though not as rare as mention of the face in the hat translation method).

I appreciate your sympathy and your suggestions. I guess it's just that we're on the heels of another holiday season having ended, and my mother has been subjected to some of the most vile treatment over the phone that I can imagine, given my mother's trusting, hopeful and open nature. I just notice this behavior more among believing Mormons to their non-believing parents than I do, say, believing Catholics or Presbyterians towards their non-believing parents.

Well, yeah, people leave other churches all the time without any big consequences. When I went to a therapist in Texas, he couldn't understand. He said, "I grew up Methodist, but my wife is Presbyterian, so I changed religions." It wasn't until I got here to Utah that I found a therapist who understood. She said, "They don't make it easy to leave, do they? And that's intentional."

You could always call your sister's bishop. :)

Good suggestion. I'll mull that over.

[_consiglieri]

I think children should respect their parents' religious beliefs.

I have this feeling, however, that within the LDS context, kids who are raised Mormon by their TBM parents may feel religiously challenged should their parents become disaffected.

What could challenge a TBM's religious beliefs more than the parents who inclucated Mormonism into their noggin going inactive?

Is it possible the perceived need to defend religious beliefs against the greatest challenge imaginable results in this type of unseemly overreaction?

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[_zeezrom]

SP,

Thanks for your kind words.

There was a time that I felt I had to be a good example for my parents. It was around the time I was preparing for a mission. I was disappointed in them for not doing enough to follow the prophet's council. LOL. Sometimes, people really need to chill out. Can you ask your sister to hang out with some Polynesians for a while? My BIL is from Tonga and happens to be one of the coolest guys on the planet. Happiest guy I know.

Or, maybe she should start listening to Bob Marley?

Everything's gonna be alright
Everything's gonna be alright

[_Yoda]

You know...this type of behavior really angers me.

Both of my parents are LDS. But I was always brought up that family came first. No matter what happened, we should always be there for each other no matter what.

I just don't understand how your sister can, in good conscience, treat your mother this way. Your Mom sounds like a very lovely, giving person. And how can she deny her children getting to know their grandmother?

This is just barbaric. Sorry...it makes me want to slap her.