How I hate faith promoting stories

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_sock puppet
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _sock puppet »

Infymus wrote:My "go on a 10 year temple mission" great grandparents back in the early 90's would tell me this goofy tale about Jesus visiting the Jordan River temple. How the temple prez would wake up in the middle of the night just knowing something was up, and when he got dressed to leave - Spencer Kimball called him and told him not to come, that Jesus was there. Like the prez would just go back to bed right?

Jesus just needed some time alone? Needed to get away from elohim, think about things on his own? Experiment a bit? Learn who he is without just being in the shadow of dad?

Does the 'Jesus is in the temple' claim just make Mormons go brain dead and not think? This is just plain stoopid.
_Polygamy-Porter
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _Polygamy-Porter »

sock puppet wrote:Jesus just needed some time alone? Needed to get away from elohim, think about things on his own?

He used his powers to make the baptismal font into a big ass jacuzzi. I wonder if he invited any of his hot wives..
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_sock puppet
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _sock puppet »

Rambo wrote:It's always around the holidays I am thrown back into dumb Mormon talk. This time it was at my cousins house for dinner and they had the missionaries over. The missionaries shared [insert B.S. coincidence that no one could verify anyway]. So this missionary takes this as a sign from god that this was the "spirit" and my whole family believes it as well. Kind of just wants to make me throw up. I'm always tempted to ask questions[... an inquiring mind, also known as the second token of the Rational Thinker, the Logical Grip or Sure Sign of the Apostate.]

To me this is not a miricle at all and this is the type of crap that kept me in the church for so long. I was just too naïve at the time and I took people for there word when they told a story. I am postive that people leave out key points of a story just to make it sound like it was a miriacle.

Sometimes councidences just happen as well.

Rambo, in these last sentences is where my own experience veers off course from yours. I never did think these stories sounded right. My mind always began hunting for alternative explanations, which came quickly. For me, I think that I was on a slow, slippery decline from the age of 8. The baptism was touted up as such a momentous occasion. But it turned out to be no big whoop. No doves descended from heaven. This was the faith of my 'fathers'. So I presumed it to be true, but it seemed to me that there were crackpots involved in it that interpreted everything in a confirmation bias way. Paul Dunn was usually their favorite GA (funny how that one worked out for them).

For me, I was looking for some hook that I could tether myself to, and stop the decline. I grasped. I found the clarity and certitude of McConkie appealing in this regard (in a bcspace sort of way), even if he said a lot of crap that could only be uttered by someone not a crackpot if in fact it was true. Therein lied its appeal. McConkie was so damn whacky and authoritative, maybe he was on to something. It didn't need to make sense. Just crack open Mormon Doctrine, there it was. Stated point blank. How did it fit together? Didn't know, but this guy seemed to have all the puzzle pieces forming a picture in his head that he could see in his mind's eye. He did not seem dumb (exuded an aura that I think MST sort of emulates). Maybe if I just keep reading Mormon Doctrine entries, eventually that picture will form in my head too.

Nope, but that got me through late teen years and through to about the last 6 months of my mission. Then it just sort of fell apart. I started to realize that the pieces didn't fit together. Those telling those faith promoting coincidences, or attributions to deity the fact they found their keys after taking a breather and then resuming what had been hours of looking, went from being sort of whacky to being pathetically deluded.

Because I was always skeptical of these divine intervention stories, I always felt outside of the Mormon Club. Oh well, at the firesides there was usually a girl I was interested in, or at least ice cream or cake and daydreaming about what I'd do as soon as it was over.
Last edited by Guest on Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
_sock puppet
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _sock puppet »

Polygamy-Porter wrote:
sock puppet wrote:Jesus just needed some time alone? Needed to get away from elohim, think about things on his own?

He used his powers to make the baptismal font into a big ass jacuzzi. I wonder if he invited any of his hot wives..

The South Jordan Temple's in Salt Lake Valley, right? I bet if he was hot tubbing, it was with some underage girls, not his wives.


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Last edited by Guest on Tue Apr 10, 2012 5:31 am, edited 2 times in total.
_ludwigm
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _ludwigm »

Buffalo wrote:My wife had a very stereotypical "lost keys" miracle a few weeks back. I love her, but that drives me crazy.

If god were really that benign (or if he/she/it existed at all), there would not be lost keys.



by the way
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Hasn't the old doorkeeper a direct line to his master? Or really Joe Lock Smith is the assignee to that gate?
- Whenever a poet or preacher, chief or wizard spouts gibberish, the human race spends centuries deciphering the message. - Umberto Eco
- To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. - Cardinal Bellarmine at the trial of Galilei
_moksha
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _moksha »

Stories usually have some significance for the teller and they may have significance for the listener as well. Stories can inform, inspire and reaffirm our sense of identity and beliefs. Stories are what make up our oral traditions (no, I am not referring to sex).
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_Buffalo
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _Buffalo »

bcspace wrote:All the same complaints could apply to exit stories.


The subtext is bcspace doesn't think anyone leaves because of a real faith crisis. He thinks everyone leaves because they want to sin. And he thinks that because that's exactly what he wishes he could do. He wants to know what it feels like to be his own man.
Parley P. Pratt wrote:We must lie to support brother Joseph, it is our duty to do so.

B.R. McConkie, © Intellectual Reserve wrote:There are those who say that revealed religion and organic evolution can be harmonized. This is both false and devilish.
_DrW
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _DrW »

bcspace wrote:All the same complaints could apply to exit stories.

The main difference being that exit stories describe the consequences of finding or acknowledging objective truth, while Mormon miracle stories represent misunderstanding of, or imaginations wholly devoid of, objective truth.

As but one example of the latter, I offer the lack of any shred of truth that characterizes many of the faith promoting stories of one Jeffrey Hunter.
David Hume: "---Mistakes in philosophy are merely ridiculous, those in religion are dangerous."

DrW: "Mistakes in science are learning opportunities and are eventually corrected."
_Infymus
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Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _Infymus »

DrW wrote:The main difference being that exit stories describe the consequences of finding or acknowledging objective truth, while Mormon miracle stories represent misunderstanding of, or imaginations wholly devoid of, objective truth.


This. Once the rose colored glasses come off, you're only left with reality. Mormonism is "magical", and that's a lot of the trickery they use to get you sucked in. Magical thinking. But like snake oil, in the end it doesn't do anything more than make you sick.
_Yoda

Re: How I hate faith promoting stories

Post by _Yoda »

Jonah wrote:When I was a kid there was a guy in our ward who used to relate a "miracle" story every fast and testimony meeting. My all-time favorite was about the time he was on a family vacation and fell asleep at the wheel. He drove his car off of a cliff, but thanks to the hand of god, the car landed on a palm tree that gently bent down and lowered the car to the ground so they could continue on their journey. He had another one about his kid crawling out of a four story window, landing on his head, but being O.K.. Since the kid (then an adult) was a little weird, nobody really questioned the story.

I do miss the days of making up a good Three Nephites faith promoting story though.

I wonder if the guy had seen "Jurassic Park" before he told his story about the car in the tree. :lol:
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