Check it out. This is too funny. So, President Newsroom came out yesterday with a statement aimed at correcting those ignoramuses at NBC who somehow managed to get wrong the very clear policy of the LDS Church on caffeine. You see, NBC reported that the LDS Church is against caffeine. And everyone who knows anything about Mormonism knows that that is just wrong. Why didn't NBC just ask the church. If NBC had just done that, President Newsroom would have set them straight. As President Newsroom said yesterday:
Finally, another small correction: Despite what was reported, the Church does not prohibit the use of caffeine. The Church’s health guidelines, known in our scriptures as “the Word of Wisdom” (Doctrine and Covenants 89), prohibits alcoholic drinks, smoking or chewing of tobacco and “hot drinks” — taught by Church leaders to refer specifically to tea and coffee. The restriction does not go beyond this.
Oh, but wait a minute. It seems President Newsroom spoke too soon, for he had to edit his "correction" of NBC the very next day. President Newsroom's statement now reads as follows:
Finally, another small correction: Despite what was reported, the Church revelation spelling out health practices (Doctrine and Covenants 89) does not mention the use of caffeine. The Church’s health guidelines prohibits [sic] alcoholic drinks, smoking or chewing of tobacco, and “hot drinks” — taught by Church leaders to refer specifically to tea and coffee.
Such delicious irony: the Church tries to "correct" NBC by making a clear statement that caffeine is not prohibited, and then the very next day retracts the clear statement to the more ambiguous "does not mention the use of caffeine" thereby leaving it wide open for all kinds of different interpretations and understandings.
So how, exactly, did NBC get it wrong? Mormons themselves, including the leader of the Church President Newsroom, don't know whether caffeine is banned or not. Hinckley thought it was (as indicated by what he told Larry King and Mike Wallace). Other Prophets thought it was, and the church used to publish a pamphlet stating that caffeine consumption violated the Word of Wisdom. Some (but probably not a majority) Bishops and Stake Presidents deny TRs to people who drink caffeinated sodas (I once had a SP grill me about it, but only one of all the Bishops and SPs I ever had in the church). BYU does not allow the sale of caffeinated beverages, which is odd if they are not proscribed. But most Mormons probably don't view them as per se banned. And it's an open secret that Monson enjoys his Pepsi. I just love the irony of the church "correcting" NBC on this issue when what NBC reported was exactly what Hinckley said more than once on national TV. Hilarious.
"The Church is authoritarian, tribal, provincial, and founded on a loosely biblical racist frontier sex cult."--Juggler Vain
"The LDS church is the Amway of religions. Even with all the soap they sell, they still manage to come away smelling dirty."--Some Schmo
