Regrets over resigning?

[_Tobin]

Indeed. But let's not do another Tobin derail.

Yes, please use whatever excuse you wish to avoid grappling with what may really be going on.

[_Runtu]

Yes, please use whatever excuse you wish to avoid grappling with what may really be going on.

Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket.

[_fetchface]

My only regret is that I could only do it once.

[_sock puppet]

My only regret is that I could only do it once.

Sort of like, "I regret having only one membership to give for my fellow man"

[_SteelHead]

Tobin remains but doesn't believe any of the unique truth claims. A walking conundrum.

[_Tobin]

Tobin remains but doesn't believe any of the unique truth claims. A walking conundrum.

I remain because Mormon claims may have a basis in fact. And I think there is something very wrong with people that resign. Frankly, I think they are idiots. You don't have to resign from the LDS Church to stop following it. Just stop going and giving them money. I really think it is a sign of how insipid you are when you cut off your nose to spite your face.

[Guest]

By my count, about two dozen long-time friends of mine have resigned from the church in the last week or so. Most of them had been inactive for some time, but there were a few who surprised me. An American couple who lived in Bolivia when I was a missionary and took care of us when we were sick or needed something; they have a gay son, and they had until now believed that the church could be a loving, welcoming place for their son. A friend who had gone back to church a couple of years ago, believing he could find a spiritual home in the church and help to make the church more inclusive. A friend from my college days who had not seemed like he was on the fence at all. And a few others I could note.

Then I got an email from one of my friends from childhood. His father had been our bishop for years and, as stake president, had set me apart as a missionary. He had stopped believing in the church years ago, but he had stayed on the records because his mother told him she couldn't bear it if he resigned. She passed away a year or so ago, but he had kept his promise until now.

Since then, I've seen people online speculating that those who resigned because of the anti-gay, anti-children policy might feel regret for having acted hastily; after all, the church is only hurting some children and dividing some families, not as many as it had originally appeared.

I asked my friend about this, and he laughed, saying he was just happy to be done with it. No regrets, no sadness. If anything, he said he felt a little relieved, as he had long felt his church membership was hypocritical.

I used to think I would feel sad if I resigned from the church--not because I would feel sad at the loss of salvation or whatever, but because it would close the door on the more innocent me of my youth, the kid who believed the church was not only God's true church but was the key to happiness.

But I realized, talking to my friend, that I've already grieved for my loss of belief. It was a loss, and I grieved over it for a long time. I've gotten past the anger, the hurt, the feelings of betrayal. Since the "policy" came out, I have felt genuine disgust for the church, as is appropriate to feel about any organization that deliberately uses children as tools (weapons, really) to divide families and hurt people.

But I don't feel regret. I do feel sorry for people who feel obligated to defend cruel policies, but mostly I feel sad for the families already divided and hurt by the church. And I feel a little stupid for not realizing until now that the church was capable of deliberately hurting people, even targeting children, to further its aims.

ETA: I haven't resigned. I promised my wife I wouldn't resign unless she was ready to resign with me. That's not going to happen anytime soon.

I resigned 20 some years ago, at a time you had to fight to resign. I tried several times but my father would stop it ( at least i believe he did) at the local level. I finally sent a letter to the Council of the twelve and said I would go to the local news paper if they did not remove my name and the blessings of my children. I soon received a letter from an apostle, M. Russel Ballard, or Russel M. Nelson ( I can't remember which) saying it would happen, and I soon got a letter from my SP saying if I did not repent is 30 days it was so.

I had two regets, one I asked my SP not to tell my folks...he did and it hurt my mother deeply, and two, after that I did not have the nads to play on the ward basketball team anymore with my friends in the church, I felt like Benedict Arnold in a way {edit} and...LoL.. that sister Wilson would give me the stink eye while she watched the games from the stage while knitting.

[_fetchface]

Tobin's nonsense aside, are there real benefits to resigning? In my case, yes. It has definitely changed the power dynamic in my interactions with local Mormons. My bishop plays dominance games and the resignation really took the wind out of his sails. Now he just ignores me. This is a real benefit to me, even if the resignation was only a thing that exists in his mind.

So when people say that I'm just playing the LDS game in resigning, I see their point but the benefits are real if it affects the toxic relationship dynamics around me.

So I definitely have nothing to regret. Even if the church does a complete 180 and decides to become the philanthropic society of my dreams, I could just join it again. "Nothing lost," as they say.

But will these people regret it? I doubt many will. After all, the normal psychological response of someone who makes a big public commitment to something is for them to go on justifying it, even if they do have misgivings. The church leverages this going in the other direction in the conversion process.

[_DarkHelmet]

I feel regret because those who resign do as they wish, but never thought to seek and do what the Lord wishes.

you have said many times that the LDS church is a man-made religion, so why do you feel regret about other people leaving? Why do you even care? And if the church is man made, as you claim, why should they seek guidance from "the Lord" before leaving it?

[_Gadianton]

Really? I've yet to hear of one of these apostates who has yet seen and actually spoken with the Lord and found out what he has to say about the matter.

In other words, none of these apostates has had a close encounter of the fifth kind where the alien explained that the person should resign. One wonders if Tobin requires folks who join the Church to also have a close encounter of the fifth kind where an alien visitor explains that they should join. It's a weird expectation since Tobin has admitted that he's never successfully summoned back an alien through prayer or meditation, and it's unknown even within his own internal narrative whether the aliens would ever respond to us, and so what he's really saying is apostates should stay members forever because he knows there's little to no chance they'll ever get an answer for anything. It's even more bizarre since within his own narrative as he's explained it, alien morals do not translate to our morals, an aliens can kill us, lie to us, farm us, or whatever, because we don't matter -- just like if we step on a bug. So why would we care about the opinion of an alien whose motives have nothing to do necessarily with our best interests anyway?