LDSToronto wrote:Runtu wrote:Most people I know feel sincere when they "fellowship" and "friendship" others, but as long as it's an assigned friendship, it's never going to be completely sincere. But I do think it's motivated by genuine concern and love on some level.
Of course, we've all had the experience of a friend who vanishes as soon as you don't do what they want you to do. One of my good friends was assigned to fellowship me, and we're still very good friends. Sometimes assigned friends can be true friends.
Without doubt, those that take the assignment are sincere, but I question what they are sincere about. While you gained a lifetime friend, I think that is the exceptional case. I've seen how sausages are made - the member who is assigned to be a friend isn't so much concerned with the individual as a person; they are concerned with the flipping the status bit from 'inactive' to 'active'. The goal is not friendship, the goal is conversion.
I've heard so many "return and reports" that sound like this - "Br. X isn't interested in coming back to church, but if we could just do Y, then Br. X might have his heart softened". Or, more commonly, "Sister X isn't interested in coming back to church, we should just move". I've never, ever heard, "Br.X is a real awesome fellow and he and I really hit it off. We're having (root)beers this Saturday while we watch the game". If anything close to that even came up, the Bishop would counsel the new friend to "bring up the gospel, make sure Br. X knows why we are really here".
Colour me cynical, but I don't think I am. Like I said, I've seen how sausages are made in the LDS church...
H.
Good point. Any time you have to "return and report" your friendshipping activities to the bishop, and receive his counsel, how sincere is it? I don't doubt that in most cases the active member sincerely wants to make a new friend. Who doesn't want to make a new friend, or enhance an existing friendship? But since the friendship is imitated by the bishop who wants a certain result, there will always be a part of it that isn't genuine.