Monday, Aug 23, 2010, at 07:46 AM
An Open Letter To The Deseret News / Mormon Times
Posted By Darth J
WILLIAM SCHRYVER -Guid- ↑
Recently, you ran stories about Brother William Schryver's presentation at the FAIR conference, making reference to what you termed "frustrating speculation by many critics" on internet message boards. I think it is a safe assumption that you were referring to this message board. You also quoted a post from Greg Smith on Mormon Apologetics and Discussion Board about Brother Schryver killing critical theories about the Kirtland Egyptian Papers and burying them under Mount Doom, etc.
I am aware that you will be cutting back your publication and laying off staff members, but since you devoted two whole stories to the new champion of the faithful and hero of Mormon apologetics, shouldn't you take the time to share with your dwindling readership (as evidenced by your recently-announced cutbacks and layoffs) more about this internet buzz regarding Brother Schryver? He is certainly proud of his behavior, as he has explicitly said. Shouldn't you and faithful members of the Church also be proud of your new hero?
Let us all bask in the humble piety and Christ-like character of Brother Schryver, who is to the LDS faithful as Lancelot was to King Arthur. I only have time for a few examples of his noble, pious, and humble spiritual insights.
Speaking of Jesus loving others, Brother Schryver said:
William Schryver wrote:
I'm not so sure. After all, he mocked the Pharisees and Sadducees quite effectively during his mortal sojourn.
Besides, I can do both at the same time.
"I love all of you stinking apostates."
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 87#p327387 Regarding the sudden necessity for both himself and Brent Metcalfe to be published before a debate can happen:
William Schryver wrote:
So, if I understand you correctly, on the basis of my not having yet published, in a formal venue, any of my findings, they are to be regarded as "lies and b***s***" until that time?
Is this same criteria applied equally to Brent Metcalfe?
I have, at least, "e-published," as it were, several arguments in the Pundit's forum of the MAD board that pertain to the Kirtland Egyptian Papers, as well as my first draft of the scroll-length article that will soon be published in the JBMORS.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 67#p326667 On respect for women:
William Schryver wrote:
In fact, the more I think about it, the more abused I feel. Do you realize that I am surrounded by a veritable cloud of estrogen from day to day? I am verbally and emotionally abused by females from dawn to dusk, day after day, week after week, and year after year, and they have, each and every one, learned far too well how to hit where it hurts.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 02#p323302 On his feelings about talking about group masturbation, unbelievers being the spawn of whores, and other Christ-like topics:
William Schyrver wrote:
As I’ve said many times, I hope people DO read everything I have ever written on this message board. Not only will doing so put the lie to the propaganda campaign that has been waged against me, but it will be entertaining for them as well!
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 78#p323178 On how people who lose their faith in the LDS Church must be stupid:
William Schyrver wrote:
Granted, you and John are nearer the dark end of the spectrum, but then you have people like Polygamy Porter and Liz and Paul Osborne et al. who simply lack the intellect sufficient to be as effective evangelists as you are. That's all right, though, because the majority of apostates are more like them than you, so the presence here of a large number of extremely average people makes it a welcoming environment for all. ;-)
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 31#p322631 On having civil discourse and friendly relationships with those who disagree with you:
William Schyrver wrote:
The difference being, of course, that it's always clear that I'm just passing through, whereas you and your cohorts belong.
When the day comes that people here start praising me, then you can say that I belong, too. Until then, the lines of demarcation are stark and bold, just as I prefer them.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 50#p322250 On respect for people of other faiths---in this case, Ceeboo, who is a Roman Catholic:
William Schryver wrote:
Seepoo:.......
From what I've seen so far, I couldn't fill a thimble with the coherent thoughts generated by "follk" like you, so I'm rather disinclined to concern myself with what you think.
As for my "contributions" here in The Great and Spacious Trailer Park™, I can only assure you that they are carefully calibrated to produce precisely the effect you have observed here today. Feel free to use the "Ignore" function to hide my posts from your offended gaze in the future.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 45#p294745 More on his respect for women:
William Schyrver wrote:
Edit: KA was the one who blogged about her breast reduction surgery. It was hilarious. I laughed. I cried. I blew snot bubbles.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 17#p294717 On his sincerity:
William Schyrver wrote:
I, on the other hand, am trying to be insulting. Being witty is simply an unavoidable byproduct of my saying anything at all.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 45#p294645 On his respect and compassion for working class people:
William Schryver wrote:
You're just the homely waitress wandering from table to table here in the singlewide, hoping that someone will get drunk enough to ask you out.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 86#p294086 And even more on his chivalrous attitude toward the fair sex:
William Schyrver wrote:
I think the real problem is that harmony dislikes women, or rather, being a woman. She resents the fact (as she sees it) that she was born into an inferior (as she sees it) role, body, status, etc.
Of course, she's really not that uncommon in this respect. Modern feminism has now produced at least three generations littered with self-loathing women. It's one of the great tragedies of our times, if you ask me.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 45#p257645 On his status as a meek and humble follower of Jesus Christ:
William Schryver wrote:
You see, I don’t care in the least about your bawdy sins. Nor am I interested in whatever “punishment” they might merit.
No, what fills me with the thrill of anticipation is the thought of the mighty Jehovah finally smacking down the pride and haughty looks of the arrogant bastards, like you, who have been mocking the Saints from the balconies of the great and spacious building since time immemorial. I couldn’t care less what they do behind the closed doors of their penthouse suites. But I am greatly offended—viscerally outraged—at how the meek and humble followers of Christ have been mocked and ridiculed throughout the ages by people like those of you who continue the apostate tradition on this message board.
The Lord has patiently enjoined His Saints to leave vengeance to Him. And we have patiently done so.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 10#p257410 On his overall Christ-like persona:
William Schyrver wrote:
You're the toughest talking blowhard of a bitch I've ever seen.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 48#p257348 And his status vis-à-vis God:
William Schryver wrote:
Besides, as I've indicated previously, I have my calling and election made sure. I'd have to shed innocent blood to fall from my exaltation at this point. And we both know I ain't gonna find any of that here.
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 48#p257348 On missionary work:
William Schryver wrote:
You're the toughest talking blowhard of a bitch I've ever seen.
"Grrrrrrr ... put up or shut up! Grrrrrrr ... I'm so intimidating when I snarl ..."
:lol:!
OK, you gnarly, snarly wench you, here's some scriptural references for you. Go educate yourself about the law of the celestial kingdom"
http://mormondiscussions.com/phpBB3/vie ... 36#p257336 And to the cheerleaders at MADB who are lurking here and reading this thread, stand and and be proud. Tell the world about your new hero. Show us the Christ-like, humble attitude that Mormon apologetics should be known for, as demonstrated by its new poster boy.
I look forward to more about Brother Schryver as soon as the Deseret News and/or Mormon Times has the space to devote to it.
Sincerely, Darth J