Anyone offer a little advice?

[_Ray A]

That may be true for some, but critics of the Church haven't come upon anything that gainsays LDS truth claims with any degree of certainty so I remain TBM.

You'd remain a TBM if hell froze over, black became white, rivers flowed upwards, and woodpeckers sunk the Titanic.

You and reason go together like water and fire. Believe whatever you want. I'm just glad I don't have to do a dozen intellectual somersaults a day to justify my existence.

[_Mad Viking]

I know it is hard for the apologist/TBM mind to believe this, but this is the very last thing I wanted for myself--to conclude that people are LDS not because it is the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth, but because they want it to be true or because their parents insist that they believe its true or because the pressures surrounding them are so great that they simply have no choice but to believe it's true.

That may be true for some, but critics of the Church haven't come upon anything that gainsays LDS truth claims with any degree of certainty so I remain TBM.

Interesting. Your default position is belief?
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[_truth dancer]

Hi mms,

Its called the "hero's journey".

It is leaving what is comfortable, easy, and simple to follow your heart.

It is moving beyond following and conformity to discover what is your unique and creative self.

It is letting go of another's truth to find your own.

It is learning to trust yourself amidst the cacophony of demands and commands from others who claim to know.

It is facing your fears, your shadow, your questions, to discover who you are.

It is allowing yourself to contemplate the deepest, darkest, and most difficult questions that may have no answers.

It is entering the unknown, uncharted territory of your soul.

Some may say it is the most harrowing journey of life.

I wish you peace.

~td~

[_solomarineris]

I do not want to change anything about my life.
Why bother posting here?, if you have this attitude, seems like you are happy where you're at.
I do not want to drink, cheat on my spouse, take up golf on sundays, or do anything differently than I did before I traveled down this road.

Do you think we are ready to cheat on our spouses? Hardly. But the fact is some of us love to look at women, subscribe to Playboy. This is normal
want my relationships to be the way the were before I learned what I know, as it seems that some within my close circle no longer trust me or value what I have to say about anything because they believe I have lost my way with regard to the most important thing.
Whose feelings are more important? Yours or theirs? Why would you care what they think of you. The most important element I see is you need to explain to your spouse how you feel, if she doesn't understand or inclined to give you your space, then you have a problem.

I want to think about other things, talk about other things, get rid of my anger and find some "good" to hang on to since I seem to no longer be able to hold on to the "Mormon" good. I want to forgive those who are so quick to make assumptions about why I am where I am.
Find a good hobby, forget about trying to forgive anybody or being forgiven.
Design your own life! You have this body, it is the only thing you are sure to keep for rest of your life.

But I am struggling. (by the way, Still going to Church--sit in the back and try not to be bothered by how little people seem to know about their church, remembering that I was there.

This is not good. You are trying to learn a lesson, the lessons will keep repeating themselves until you learn, then you can go to next level.
Remember there is no easy fix, I've been there, done it and paid a hefty price (like most of these guys/gals).

[_Black Moclips]

Hey mms, I'm right there with you in the same situation. I really relate to your comments about people knowing you, the real you. I was just like you too. I was outgoing, I made lots of comments in lessons, gave talks, taught lessons, etc. Now I just take up space in the back row and keep quiet. No one has told me not to speak, but I know what kinds of comments would be appreciated and those that wouldn't. (by the way, anyone see that stupid thread on the other board asking why don't critics speak up more in church? Dumbest thread I've ever seen).

Anyway, I would say that cultivating the relationship with your wife is very important during this time. Don't try to make her become like you, but if you can help her understand you, it sure makes things a lot easier. Despite my doubts and her ingrained TBM-ness, the relationship with my wife is probably the best its ever been. Doesn't mean there aren't disagreements regarding church/religion, but in the end, I know she loves me for me, not what I am in the church.

P.S. Just a tip - when you do stay home from church, doing a little housework while she is gone does WONDERS. She may even encourage you to stay home more often!

[_mms]

Man, some folks have been through absolute hell. Sorry for how that must have been.

An interesting thing happened as I was reviewing the posts a few minutes ago, as I was reading Truth Dancer's post, I got the same feelings I used to equate with "the Spirit." It caught me off guard and, in a way that I think many of you can understand, it troubles me.

Jersey Girl--Thanks and upon reflection, I have started down some of those roads and maybe concentrating on them more will help me worry about this stuff less.

Solomarineris--I was stating those things about drinking, cheating, etc. for those who might assume this is what leads to doubt.

Black Moclips--sounds like we are in the same boat. I have been forthcoming with my bishop and even the Stake Presidency, but I do not discuss things with "average" ward members, as I have been asked not to.

[_why me]

mms,

If you were unbanned from the MADb would you post there on the social forum?

[_why me]

Of course, you sin, we all sin. Nothing wrong in sinning...

... Faith is doubt.

Black is white, up is down, they're coming to take me away.

Your incoherence is deafening.

Really, I don't think so. To have absolute proof means that a person does not need faith. To have absolute evidence means that a person does not need faith. Thus, faith is doubt since somthing has not been proven. Critics on this board stress doubt to shake a person's faith. Both doubt and faith compliment each other.

Since we are all imperfect, sin is quite natural. Nothing wrong in sinning. It is not trying to change from commiting the same sin that a problem develops. And also not using the gift of repentance.

[_why me]

[But I am struggling. (by the way, Still going to Church--sit in the back and try not to be bothered by how little people seem to know about their church, remembering that I was there.

How do you know that they know quite little. Maybe they think that you know quite little. Have a constructive conversation and see what happens. You may be surprised about their knowledge.

Now of course, one must ask just how much anyone knows about their faith. I would assume not much.

[_Ray A]

How do you know that they know quite little. Maybe they think that you know quite little. Have a constructive conversation and see what happens. You may be surprised about their knowledge.

Now of course, one must ask just how much anyone knows about their faith. I would assume not much.

Why me, you are perfecting the art of contradiction.