What is the history of masterbation?

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_selek
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _selek »

Fiannan wrote:http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/do-kelloggs-corn-flakes-help-control-masturbation/

THe corn flake guy had a lot to do with it you know.

My understanding is that in the 19th Century there was a sudden interest in masturbation due to people like Kellogg. The medical community began to link it into the whole "hygene" movement and even though doctors were supposed to masturbate their female patients to orgasm to relieve depression and hysteria their eventual criticism of too much self stimulation at home lent to the public turning against the practice.


I beat off about 3 times a day. Does that explain my leprosy?
"There is no shame in watching porn." - why me, 08/15/11

"The answer is: ...poontang." - darricktevenson, 01/10/11

Daniel Peterson is a "Gap-Toothed Lizard Man" - Daniel Peterson, 12/06/08

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_selek
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _selek »

Some Schmo wrote:
What is the history of masturbation?

The following might clear up this mystery...

From the lost Book of Schmo, chap 3, vs 10-32:

10. And he did tarry in the wilderness alone, unbeknownst to the favored couple in garden of paradise. And he, being Sole, did ask of the Lord,
11. Why hast thou placed me here, by my isolation, and given ignorance to the couple, making them think they are the only two?
12. And the Lord’s angel Franklin, one of the lesser angels, did blow his own horn upon his arrival, and said unto Sole,
13. Ask not of the Lord these things, for he is high steeped in the ways of his own mischief, and has no time to explain himself.
14. For were he to say, you would not understand. Not because his ways are so mysterious, but because of the awesome pettiness of his nature.
15. And Sole did ask unto Franklin, So I doeth been screwed asunder?
16. And thunder did issue from the sky, and a whirlwind did spin for additional dramatic effect, and Franklin said, For thy jealousy, ye shall face ye own temptation from the serpent.
17. And it did come to pass that the question that occurred to the first man who did thinkest he was first but did not know of Sole did also occur to the first lonely man, he being Sole.
18. And he did ask unto Franklin, knowing it might be of higher cleverness to avoid asking the Lord any more questions,
19. I have seen in my dreams the exchanging of a rib for the sake of yet an unformed bone. I doeth have such a bone. Canst thou grant me the same?
20. And the sound of a harp did issue forth, and the angel Johnson did appear, informing Sole that Franklin had the decade off, and did say,
21. That was a special offer by invitation only. The Lord doeth not major in marketing. For the Lord sayeth, Thou arest on thy own, no eye for an eye, no bone for a bone.
22. And Johnson did shrink from his sight.
23. And it was in the dark of night, and the solitary of his self, and the serpent did rise before him, and did have the aspect of the angel Johnson, and it whispered unto Sole,
24. Take of me, and squeeze and manipulate, kneed and massage, for I am the refuge of the lonely man.
25. Bring forth the forbidden fruit of knowledge, the beginning of life, the goo of origins, and ye shall be rewarded with relief.
26. And Sole did, and saw that it was sooooo good.
27. And as he did throw dirt on the last traces of his forbidden life fruit, Johnson the angel played his harp, but it was an angry harp tune, and he did rebuke:
28. Thou hast been tricked by the serpent, and thou hast angered the Lord!
29. And Sole was confused, and did ask what the big deal was.
30. And Johnson, standing very tall, did say, thou arest weak, and thou shalt be banished to the wilderness to walk thy days henceforth.
31. And Sole did ask, how shalt that be different from what I suffer now?
32. And Johnson did retreat, for it was a fair question, and being an angel of the Lord, thought it best to leave in mysterious ways, and not exactly explain what was bad, but leave the impression it was anyway.


I'm a believer...just don't try to bone my wife, make up scripture, or pretend you are a prophet
"There is no shame in watching porn." - why me, 08/15/11

"The answer is: ...poontang." - darricktevenson, 01/10/11

Daniel Peterson is a "Gap-Toothed Lizard Man" - Daniel Peterson, 12/06/08

Copyright© 1915 Simon Belmont, Esq., All Rights Up Your Butt.
_selek
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _selek »

tana39 wrote:I guess I don't actually know the church stance on birth control.


The "official" church stance on just about everything is that "the church has no stance"...

In the words of Gordo Hinkely: "I don't know that we belive anything at all"
"There is no shame in watching porn." - why me, 08/15/11

"The answer is: ...poontang." - darricktevenson, 01/10/11

Daniel Peterson is a "Gap-Toothed Lizard Man" - Daniel Peterson, 12/06/08

Copyright© 1915 Simon Belmont, Esq., All Rights Up Your Butt.
_Fiannan
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _Fiannan »

[quote]I beat off about 3 times a day. Does that explain my leprosy?]/quote]

You aren't eating your corn flakes in the morning, are you?
_bcspace
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _bcspace »

masturbation is such a big deal that we think it is necessary to confess it to a bishop.


I find it interesting that no Bishop, Stake President, Mission President, or Area authority has ever asked me this question in any interview.
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_moksha
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _moksha »

We know from the fossil record that the mighty Tyrannosaurus did not masturbate (arms were too short).

It's too late to lend him a hand.
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_Morley
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _Morley »

moksha wrote:We know from the fossil record that the mighty Tyrannosaurus did not masturbate (arms were too short).

It's too late to lend him a hand.


Not an image I needed burned into my brain.
_Infymus
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _Infymus »

Boyd K. Packer never did once touch his little factory. And if he ever did get tempted to, he tied his hand to the bedpost.

Why would you ever not believe a man who would get up in GC and thump a Book of Mormon at us? Especially the same dog eared historical Book of Mormon, right?

Why some GA's have never even seen their wives naked!

Mormonism, so chock full of yummy goodness!
_Quasimodo
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _Quasimodo »

bcspace wrote:
masturbation is such a big deal that we think it is necessary to confess it to a bishop.


I find it interesting that no Bishop, Stake President, Mission President, or Area authority has ever asked me this question in any interview.


Maybe because they already knew the answer. They must have just assumed that you were as guilty as they were.

Would you deny it if you were being honest? Would they?
This, or any other post that I have made or will make in the future, is strictly my own opinion and consequently of little or no value.

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_Zelder
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Re: What is the history of masturbation?

Post by _Zelder »

Fionn wrote:Bet you didn't know clitoridectomy was performed in the US, did you?

http://www.fgmnetwork.org/articles/duffy.htm


That was interesting. Thanks.
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