MrStakhanovite wrote:#1 Having someone explain casually explain to you that the lost ten tribes of Israel are, in fact, hiding underneath the earth’s crust via an entrance at the North Pole and doing so in such a way that made it seem like they were telling you the obvious.
I would say that happened to me too, but then some prancing lapdog Mopologist con artist is just going to say I was intransigent, or clearly not a Twoooooooo Mormon.
That said, the first time I heard about this was at a Scout camp. Our Scout Leader would speculate openly about the Lost Tribes. On retrospect I can't tell if he was serious or an original troll.
My parents ate that **** up. (<- **** you Liz)
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.
Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
MrStakhanovite wrote:#1 Having someone explain casually explain to you that the lost ten tribes of Israel are, in fact, hiding underneath the earth’s crust via an entrance at the North Pole and doing so in such a way that made it seem like they were telling you the obvious.
Christ, yet another piece of BS I'm just now finding out my dad didn't make up. The first time this happened was when I heard someone else mentioning the dinosaur fossils came from other planets because god made this world from the recycled parts of others. This has just topped the list of my scariest LDS memory... from two seconds ago. Scary that people (other than just my late father) believe this crap.
Where's the damned eye roll smilie when I need one?
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
MrStakhanovite wrote:#1 Having someone explain casually explain to you that the lost ten tribes of Israel are, in fact, hiding underneath the earth’s crust via an entrance at the North Pole and doing so in such a way that made it seem like they were telling you the obvious.
I would say that happened to me too, but then some prancing lapdog Mopologist con artist is just going to say I was intransigent, or clearly not a Twoooooooo Mormon.
That said, the first time I heard about this was at a Scout camp. Our Scout Leader would speculate openly about the Lost Tribes. On retrospect I can't tell if he was serious or an original troll.
My parents ate that **** up. (<- **** you Liz)
Chalk up another one to what happens on a scout outing.
NOM mothers here with young boys, are you planning on signing your sons up when they reach age 12?
Ah, yes. The "piece the Earth together from different planets" theory. My Ward leaders were big on that one.
In the face of madness, rationality has no power - Xiao Wang, US historiographer, 2287 AD.
Every record...falsified, every book rewritten...every statue...has been renamed or torn down, every date...altered...the process is continuing...minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Ideology is always right.
MrStakhanovite wrote:#1 Having someone explain casually explain to you that the lost ten tribes of Israel are, in fact, hiding underneath the earth’s crust via an entrance at the North Pole and doing so in such a way that made it seem like they were telling you the obvious.
Christ, yet another piece of BS I'm just now finding out my dad didn't make up. The first time this happened was when I heard someone else mentioning the dinosaur fossils came from other planets because god made this world from the recycled parts of others. This has just topped the list of my scariest LDS memory... from two seconds ago. Scary that people (other than just my late father) believe this s***.
Where's the f*****g eye roll smilie when I need one?
Your dad didn't make that up, I heard both of these things from a seminary teacher in High School.
Wait...was your Dad extremely tall and thin, with red hair and slightly bugged out blue eyes? Does your last name begin with the letter A? Because Brother A was a fount of sketchy Mormon folklore...
From the Ernest L. Wilkinson Diaries: "ELW dreams he's spattered w/ grease. Hundreds steal his greasy pants."
Blixa wrote: Your dad didn't make that up, I heard both of these things from a seminary teacher in High School.
Wait...was your Dad extremely tall and thin, with red hair and slightly bugged out blue eyes? Does your last name begin with the letter A? Because Brother A was a fount of sketchy Mormon folklore...
Nope, not the same guy at all. Not sure which answer would have been better.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
Doctor CamNC4Me wrote:Lessee... I recall very clearly all the Alpha males having all the sex they wanted with all the SLUTTY Mormon WOMEN who just laughed at me when I would try to ask them to dance at CHURCH dances. These Mormon women couldn't help themselves and would be led out to the PARKING lot where they would drink and give the Alpha males BLOW JOBS. Then these Mormon women would come back to the dance like they hadn't done anything wrong, and they would attend SUNDAY SCHOOL like they never were in the parking lot having sweaty sex with Alpha males. ALL Mormon WOMEN ARE WHORES WHO LOVE THE SMELL OF ALPHA MALE PHEROMONES!!!!
Okay, now, that was funny.
The person who is certain and who claims divine warrant for his certainty belongs now to the infancy of our species. Christopher Hitchens
Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions. Frater