Farewell Friends, I Was Just Called As Bishop

[_LDSToronto]

I love Everybody Wang Chung - I think he's a good guy and I've enjoyed chatting with him on this board. So, well wishes all around, may you be showered with excessive blessings, may your priesthood grow stronger, &c...

The good bishop vows to never ask a member about their masturbatory habits. Fantastic. And he vows to never let a family starve. Commendable. And he will lead his congregation by example. Wonderful. Each of these things will make some lives better.

But net aggregate, these are a small part of a bishops job. The biggest part of a bishop's job is to grow the ward. And that means the bishop leads the missionary work and reactivation efforts. Which raises the question - how does an unbelieving bishop bring people into a church he believes to be false?

Does Bishop E.WC pull investigators into special classes and teach them about the Book of Abraham, the Kinderhook plates, blacks and the priesthood, Joseph's polygamy, the Hoffman letters, masonic origins of temple rites, misappropriation of tithing to build malls and to invest in land, &c?

Or does Bishop E.WC bury all of that and let people join the church ignorant of these perspectives, perspectives he himself has great difficulty with?

And what about those inactive members - does Bishop E.WC challenge them to do whatever is next for their eternal exhalation? Does he challenge them to put down that glass of wine, and pay an honest tithe and strive to attend the temple? Or does he simply say, "Church is a fun place to be, ignore all that stuff you've read about, put it on the shelf, and come back into full fellowship"?

I don't have the answers, just questions, but it would be really interesting to hear about E.WC's thoughts on these matters, given his state of uncertainty around the very church he has been called to represent.

H.

[_Corpsegrinder]

After MUCH deliberation and soul searching, I have accepted a call to serve as Bishop. As such, I imagine that my interaction on this board will cease.

I'll miss your posts. But it's good to know that somewhere there'll be a bishop with an open mind and an operational BS filter.

[_The Mighty Builder]

You poor dumb Bastard, I feel sorry for you.

Sorry for being Stupid enough to sacrifice family, friends and most of all personal integrity. I feel sorry for you for supporting a corrupt organization for personal praise and glory. I feel sorry for you in that you betray yourself for selfish reasons.

But most of all I feel sorry for the lie you extend on the people you vow to enrich and enhance.

I feel qualified to make these statements because I turned down a calling to be Bishop because of my questions about the Mormon Church.

[_Morley]

You poor dumb Bastard, I feel sorry for you.

Sorry for being Stupid enough to sacrifice family, friends and most of all personal integrity. I feel sorry for you for supporting a corrupt organization for personal praise and glory. I feel sorry for you in that you betray yourself for selfish reasons.

But most of all I feel sorry for the lie you extend on the people you vow to enrich and enhance.

I feel qualified to make these statements because I turned down a calling to be Bishop because of my questions about the Mormon Church.

You're an ass, MB.

[_Shulem]

You poor dumb Bastard, I feel sorry for you.

Sorry for being Stupid enough to sacrifice family, friends and most of all personal integrity. I feel sorry for you for supporting a corrupt organization for personal praise and glory. I feel sorry for you in that you betray yourself for selfish reasons.

But most of all I feel sorry for the lie you extend on the people you vow to enrich and enhance.

You do have a valid point, Mighty Builder.

I claim that his power and priesthood is not genuine and I could raise my arm to the square to to his face and challenge him before God even in front of the apostles and prophets in Salt Lake. It's fake. It's all a pretended show and he has no power in this priesthood. No amount of priesthood power and faith can produce the name of an Egyptian king in the writing of Facsimile No. 3. It cannot be done. It's impossible. The Mormon priesthood is manmade and the revelations thereof are a lie, starting with Joseph Smith.

The name Shulem is NOT in the writing. Joseph Smith lied.

Paul O

[_zeezrom]

Bishop Everybody Wang Chung,

I wonder if your ward has any teenage Zee types. If so, it might be a good idea to at least mention masturbation one time. You could say this:

"Jonny, when I visit with you and ask if there is anything you need to tell me, just know right now that I don't give a crap whether or not you masturbated last month."

They kind of need that reassurance because they sure as hell aren't getting it from their youth leaders and likely not their parents if they are TBM. The kid (if he is like I was) might be reading into the FSofY pamphlet and Richard G Scott talks too much and causing a lot of grief.

If you stay silent on this, the boy will make assumptions.

In this regard, I think a bishop like Everybody Wang Chung can do a lot of good.

This is one of those posts I start wishing I didn't write an hour later...

[_Shulem]

Just be very carefull about talking about masturbation with the youth. Those days are coming to an end once lawsuits hit the fan and the courts step in, the church will be on life support. Mormon bishops have no business talking to kids about masturbation. It is child abuse! It will be illegal! You can go to jail for doing it! Beware, you've been warned! The church is headed for the fight of their lives. Sue the Mormon church!!

Paul O

[_zeezrom]

Paul, good point. Maybe the bishop can meet with parents and tell them to have a frank talk with the kids.

[_Polygamy-Porter]

I dare you Everybody Wang Chung to stand before your ward and announce the following:

"Brudders and sisters,

The church is not true.

The members are true, but the church is not

Please see me if you have any questions."

Oh, and please video record this for all to enjoy.

[_Dr. Shades]

Even so, does your very kind offer of pro bono legal defense on behalf of this board, should the need arise, still stand?

Shades,

My offer still stands. Contact me if the need should ever arise.

THANK YOU so much! You are truly a gentleman and a scholar.

I feel qualified to make these statements because I turned down a calling to be Bishop because of my questions about the Mormon Church.

Just think: If you had accepted the calling, you could've shared your questions with the flock. As a bishop, they would've taken you seriously.