A Scenario for our Male Apologists to Consider...

[_KevinSim]

Anyone who has been in a bad marriage can tell you that celibacy of FAR preferable.

Celibacy is "FAR preferable" to the "bad marriage"? I'll grant you that. But is celibacy preferable to any marriage at all?

Like I said, I'm not a big fan of polygamy, but it seems like there's something inherently wrong in a system that forces a full third of its female members to choose between celibacy and a marriage outside of the faith that's not going to last forever.

[_LDSToronto]

A revelation came from the Lord that your cherished beloved bride would be required to take another husband. Not only were you to support her, and approve of this, but you were to also be a supportive "brother husband" to this man who would share physical and emotional intimacies with your wife, who is your best friend, lover, and life partner. This "brother husband" would also be sharing your wife's bed, fathering her children, making life decisions with her.

And if you show any sign of jealousy, you are merely told to "suck it up" by other Church members. You just don't understand true faithfulness, and are simply weak. "Someday, you will understand what a blessed commandment this is, and it will all become clear to you."

If you dare....really put yourself in this position. Don't simply dismiss it because it is not the current reality.

Does this at least give you a glimpse as to why accepting plural marriage as an eternal law would be difficult for faithful LDS women to understand or deal with?

I would really appreciate your serious thoughts and discussion on this matter.

Liz, let me ask you to answer honestly: If you were commanded, by the Lord, via the current prophet, to take another husband, would you? If so, why? If not, why not?

H.

[Tator]

Like I said, I'm not a big fan of polygamy, but it seems like there's something inherently wrong in a system that forces a full third of its female members to choose between celibacy and a marriage outside of the faith that's not going to last forever.

It only "forces" them to choose celibacy if they refuse to consider marrying "gentiles."

I have seen or read no evidence that has persuaded me thus far that the majority of polygamous marriages were NOT unhappy and unsatisfying for the women. So I think the base assumption that a polygamous option would be the equivalent of a bad marriage is a fair one.

Despite the bizarre and unfounded imaginings of some people, women aren't designed to share a man anymore than men are designed to share a woman.

edited to fix a major typo: addition of word NOT

[_keithb]

Anyone who has been in a bad marriage can tell you that celibacy of FAR preferable.

+1,000,000,000

[_Chap]

Anyone who has been in a bad marriage can tell you that celibacy of FAR preferable.

+1,000,000,000

Spanish proverb:

Mejor solo que mal acompañado.
(Better alone than badly accompanied.)

[_harmony]

Liz, let me ask you to answer honestly: If you were commanded, by the Lord, via the current prophet, to take another husband, would you? If so, why? If not, why not?

H.

Hell, no. On some days, I'd give away the one I have!

(sorry,you weren't talking to me...)

[_Yoda]

Liz, let me ask you to answer honestly: If you were commanded, by the Lord, via the current prophet, to take another husband, would you? If so, why? If not, why not?

H.

Hell, no. On some days, I'd give away the one I have!

(sorry,you weren't talking to me...)

Awesome, Harm! LOL

LDST, in answer to your question....No, I would not. He is the only man I have ever been in love with. We have been married for 25 years, and I love him even more now, after 3 children, illnesses, good times, bad times, deaths, births, than I did when he proposed. The bond is unbreakable...pure and simple.

Yes, I really am a sappy, ooey gooey romantic. Sorry for the cavities.

[_moksha]

Liz, what if the husband was some gross old guy who was domineering in all things? Would the old expression "misery loves company" then come into play?

[_KevinSim]

I have seen or read no evidence that has persuaded me thus far that the majority of polygamous marriages were NOT unhappy and unsatisfying for the women. So I think the base assumption that a polygamous option would be the equivalent of a bad marriage is a fair one.

Despite the bizarre and unfounded imaginings of some people, women aren't designed to share a man anymore than men are designed to share a woman.

Let me change the wording slightly.

I, KevinSim, have seen or read no evidence that has persuaded me thus far that the majority of gay and lesbian marriages were NOT unhappy and unsatisfying for at least one spouse in each marriage. So I think the base assumption that a gay and lesbian option would be the equivalent of a bad marriage is a fair one. There are plenty of people who think that, despite the bizarre and unfounded imaginings of some people, men aren't designed to have sex with other men and women aren't designed to have sex with other women.

What's needed here is not conclusions based on one person's lack of seeing evidence of happy polygamous marriages; what's needed here is rigorous studies that have some chance of telling us the well researched truth about this alternate sexual lifestyle. Apply the same open mindedness to polygamy that you do to gay marriage.

[_harmony]

I have seen or read no evidence that has persuaded me thus far that the majority of polygamous marriages were NOT unhappy and unsatisfying for the women. So I think the base assumption that a polygamous option would be the equivalent of a bad marriage is a fair one.

Despite the bizarre and unfounded imaginings of some people, women aren't designed to share a man anymore than men are designed to share a woman.

Let me change the wording slightly.

I, KevinSim, have seen or read no evidence that has persuaded me thus far that the majority of gay and lesbian marriages were NOT unhappy and unsatisfying for at least one spouse in each marriage. So I think the base assumption that a gay and lesbian option would be the equivalent of a bad marriage is a fair one. There are plenty of people who think that, despite the bizarre and unfounded imaginings of some people, men aren't designed to have sex with other men and women aren't designed to have sex with other women.

What's needed here is not conclusions based on one person's lack of seeing evidence of happy polygamous marriages; what's needed here is rigorous studies that have some chance of telling us the well researched truth about this alternate sexual lifestyle. Apply the same open mindedness to polygamy that you do to gay marriage.

I'm completely happy allowing polygamy, polyandry, gay marriage, you name it. I'm not happy applying that to my eternal salvation as a Must Do. Joseph and Brigham can take their multiple wives to hell, because I'm not going to a CK that requires me to share.