LDS Missionary Experience Spin

[_moksha]

Thanks Stormy Waters for that OP link. I am glad I read the interview and all the comments.

[_son of Ishmael]

I just bought his book for my kindle and look forward reading it this weekend.

I thought about writing a book about my mission but thought it would sound too much like the old Cheech and Chong bit about what I did on my summer vacation.

"On the first day of my summer vacation I woke up, went down town, looked for a job, hung out in front of the drug store. On the second day of my summer vacation I woke up, went down town, looked for a job, hung out in front of the drug store. On the third day of my summer vacation I woke up, went down town, looked for a job, hung out in front of the drug store. On the fourth day of..."

[_sock puppet]

I deeply regret serving a mission.

Me too, Stormy, me too.

[_sock puppet]

The problem with it (the online version I read) was it was indeed spin; an obvious attempt to accentuate the negative.

bcspace, have you read Runtu's book? If not, you definitely should. It's very well written and a pretty quick read. It contains as many faith promoting experiences as ones that were difficult and troubling for him....he did an excellent job of representing both.

I highly recommend reading his book (Heaven Up Here)!

bcspace could only accept it if it only had faith promoting experiences related in its pages.

[_sock puppet]

I was playing basketball with a large group of friends. One friend lamented the fact that he came home early from his mission while in the MTC because he didn't like it. Everyone was telling him he was still a good guy and he could always go on a mish when he retired.

I told him: "Don't feel bad that you didn't go. Missions suck. I hated mine, and if I knew what it was really going to be like, I never would have gone on one."

After I stated my opinion, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone was flabbergasted I would say such a thing about missions. Afterwards one of my friends told me in private that I shouldn't publicly air my negative feelings about my mission and I should only focus on the positive aspects. Whatever...

No peer pressure in Mormonism, right?

Glad you told em like it was, Racer.

[_Sethbag]

Luckily for me I never baptized anyone on my mission to Switzerland, though I did tract out a couple of people who were later on baptized by other missionaries. I'm pretty sure both folks were already inactive before I even went home, so I don't have this wierd, quasi-guilty feeling that I brought someone into a scam that affected their whole life*.

I felt good about my mission at the time. I tried hard, but I was too honest. Though still a believer, I refused to use a lot of the tactics other missionaries took for granted, so I felt like I preserved my integrity. The things I really believed I taught. The things I couldn't whole-heartedly accept for myself I didn't pass on to others. I also am glad that I rejected the whole numbers game and got pretty thick-skinned about calling in numbers that were well below the targets, and saying "hey, that's what happened, deal with it" to the DL or ZL or whomever.

I thought I learned a lot about myself through that experience. Of course, in the time since then (been home 22 years now), I've probably already completely replaced everything I learned about myself at least two or three more times. But at the time it seemed worthwhile to me, so I'm sticking with that. ;-)

*actually, I did play a strong role in retaining a couple of young female members who might otherwise have left the church, and at least one of them later married an RM and I think moved to Utah and whatnot. Damn, here comes that quasi-guilt, hehe.

[_Dr. Shades]

Ahh yes, another reminder that I really need to buy Runtu's book. I don't live too far away from him; I wonder if he'd be willing to sign mine for me?

Like Consiglieri and Tarski, I served my mission in Japan. (Tarski and I were even in the same mission, albeit 10 years apart. Consiglieri, you weren't in Nagoya, were you?) Anyway, although it's not quite up to American standards, Japan is nevertheless a very hygienic country; you can drink the tapwater with no fears whatsoever. So I never had to deal with drastic weight loss, tropical diseases, intestinal parasites, etc. that seem to be such standard fare in other missionaries' experiences.

Like Sethbag, I avoided the deceptive or quasi-deceptive tactics that seemed to be routine, so I returned with my integrity intact, thankfully. Also like Sethbag, I didn't play the numbers game, but unlike him I got away with it by simply lying about my stats and hoping that my companions either wouldn't notice or wouldn't care.

CICERO: I kept a journal during my mission and never missed a single day. A few years ago I transcribed it and uploaded it to the Internet in *pdf format, interspersing it with lots of after-the-fact commentary now that I'm older and (hopefully) wiser. I even included pictures, a statistical survey, a glossary, and a cast of characters. If you're interested, have a peek at:

Elder Shades's Missionary Journal

[_Eyepatch]

A re-post:

My mission was a total, and complete, waste of time. I was a rule-keeping sort of missionary, hence I feel cheated and abused by the leadership. I have come to realize that the leadership are simply flogging their missionaries as hard as they can so that THEY can advance in the giant Mormon multi-level marketing machine. They are all bucking for GA positions. I was just a tool to be worn out in the larger goal of their ass-kissing, upward leadership arc.

The operative dynamic for the leaders is the same as with the missionaries themselves. There might be 100 missionaries in a given mission, and almost all of them desire advancement...but only a select few are chosen. And how are they chosen? By aligning themselves to the polestar rule of the mission: slavish obedience. In other words, boot-licking. They can become DL's, then ZL's, then maybe, just maybe, if they've kissed enough ass, AP!!

The same type of competitive pool exists in the level above the missionaries. There might be 150 -200 mission presidents...almost all of them desiring advancement and further recognition. How do they advance? By "turning" a mission around. Or in other words by boosting the numbers and making a name for themselves. That's why some of these guys will authorize ANY type of baptism (I'm talking baseball baptisms!!) That's why these guys lick the boots of the leadership rank above them. The principle is crystal clear.

Again, imagine the principle on the lower level. Here's the MP thinking to himself: "Well, gosh, Elder Pressure really baptized a hell of a lot of people in Bielefeld...I guess we ought to make him Zone Leader." Same thing, higher level. Here's an apostle talking to himself: "Well, well,...Mission President Smartypants has really turned the Hamburg mission around...he might be just the man for that GA slot."

I am a touch bitter about my mission experience because it changed the person I was...for the worse. The only time in my life that I have been concerned about "advancement" was during my mission. The system in place during my mission (and I assume is still in place throughout the world) was one that encouraged competition for leadership assignments. This system is purposely cultured by mission presidents, and the leaders above them.

I am bitter because it WASN'T about gathering lost sheep for Christ. It was primarily a sales program, thinly-veiled as a religious org. We did things like aggressive street contacting, phony street surveys, sign displays, pamphleteering, etc. The thing that makes me cringe is the mere existence of a monster called "The Commitment Pattern." Christ didn't go around trying to mind-**** everybody into a binding commitment. His approach was pretty simple, "Come follow me." It didn't involve a high-pressure system of escalating commitments designed to get a person baptized ASAP. Not to mention all of the things we couldn't be honest about. In fact, we were extremely dishonest in the things we kept hidden from the prospective member. We never discussed racism, polygamy, Gods-in-embryo, etc.

It's my humble opinion that a mission could be a wonderful thing...if it was about true service, not phony service. Phony service is more about the missionary (look at me, I had 30 baptisms!!). True service is about helping people (hospice care, digging wells, etc.). I would have a completely different feeling about my mission had it been about helping people. I look back at my time and see myself for what I was, a pamphleteer for a quasi-religious org.

I have a FIRM testimony that these type of machinations occur within the MLM system we call Mormonism.

To hell with them. They know that the "church" isn't true. They should be kinder to the VOLUNTEERS who come to their areas.

[_sock puppet]

Hey, eyepatch, good assessment.

In 1917, Senator Hiram Johnson said "The first casualty of war is the truth."

In 1986, screenwriter Oliver Stone adapted that phrase to be "The first casualty of war is innocence."

An LDS mission must be like war, as two of its first casualties are truth and innocence.

[_son of Ishmael]

I just finished Runtu's book. I really enjoyed it, It brought back a lot of memories both good and bad, though I never got as sick as he did. I think the church could do a lot of good for others and itself if they would focus missionary work on really helping others and less on proselyting.