MDB Haiku

[_Equality]

That was Doctor Scratch, not me. I was just quoting it.

Well, crap, I can't correct it because the syllables don't work. I will try anyway:

Laugh tears are flowing
I really laughed, yea, guffawed
Doctor Scratch is smart*

*But Darth J is also genius.

[_Dr. Shades]

Meldrum rakes it in 5 = right
FAIR wishes their fiction made cash 8 = wrong
Envy spurs hit piece 5 = right

William Hamblin 4 = wrong
Hair attaches like lego piece 8 = wrong
DCP's Rockwell 5 = right

Dear Racer:

1. The first line of a haiku consists of five syllables. The number of syllables of which it consists is no number other than five.
2. The second line of a haiku consists of seven syllables. The total number of syllables that may exist in line two is no number other than seven. Seven syllables, and seven syllables only, are contained in line two.
3. You're doing pretty well with the third line, though. Keep it up.

[_Racer]

Meldrum rakes it in 5 = right
FAIR wishes their fiction made cash 8 = wrong
Envy spurs hit piece 5 = right

William Hamblin 4 = wrong
Hair attaches like lego piece 8 = wrong
DCP's Rockwell 5 = right

Dear Racer:

1. The first line of a haiku consists of five syllables. The number of syllables of which it consists is no number other than five.
2. The second line of a haiku consists of seven syllables. The total number of syllables that may exist in line two is no number other than seven. Seven syllables, and seven syllables only, are contained in line two.
3. You're doing pretty well with the third line, though. Keep it up.

Thanks for the tips Shades! How about these revisions?

Meldrum rakes it in
FAIR has Meldrum cash envy
Envy spurs hit piece

William Hamblin hair
Attaches like Lego piece
DCP's Rockwell

[_Drifting]

Dear Drifting:

The first line of a haiku has five syllables. Not four, not six, but five.
The second line of a haiku has seven syllables. It doesn't have any number of syllables other than seven.
The third and final line of a haiku also has five syllables, just like the first line.

None of these items are negotiable.

Now go thou and sin no more.

Please consider me truly penitent (about the syllable count not the content!)

[_Drifting]

Will Schryver
total asshole he
Published not


Any better?

[_Chap]

Will Schryver
total asshole he
Published not


Any better?

That's 3-5-3 syllables. To be a haiku the pattern MUST be 5-7-5.

Try:

William Schryver: (5)
"Almost ready to publish!" (7)
It's gone on for years ... (5)

[_Drifting]

Will Schryver
total asshole he
Published not


Any better?

That's 3-5-3 syllables. To be a haiku the pattern MUST be 5-7-5.

Try:

William Schryver: (5)
"Almost ready to publish!" (7)
It's gone on for years ... (5)

Shades is going to make me redo fifth grade on this one...

[_Bret Ripley]

Dear Drifting:

The first line of a haiku has five syllables. Not four, not six, but five.
The second line of a haiku has seven syllables. It doesn't have any number of syllables other than seven.
The third and final line of a haiku also has five syllables, just like the first line.

None of these items are negotiable.

This is generally true of traditional haiku (with the caveat that the Japanese on does not quite equate to the English syllable), the gendai form of haiku does tend to deviate from the traditional 5-7-5 pattern.

[_Drifting]

Dear Drifting:

The first line of a haiku has five syllables. Not four, not six, but five.
The second line of a haiku has seven syllables. It doesn't have any number of syllables other than seven.
The third and final line of a haiku also has five syllables, just like the first line.

None of these items are negotiable.

This is generally true of traditional haiku (with the caveat that the Japanese on does not quite equate to the English syllable), the gendai form of haiku does tend to deviate from the traditional 5-7-5 pattern.

Exactly, I was performing gendai...

[_Chap]

Dear Drifting:

The first line of a haiku has five syllables. Not four, not six, but five.
The second line of a haiku has seven syllables. It doesn't have any number of syllables other than seven.
The third and final line of a haiku also has five syllables, just like the first line.

None of these items are negotiable.

This is generally true of traditional haiku (with the caveat that the Japanese on does not quite equate to the English syllable), the gendai form of haiku does tend to deviate from the traditional 5-7-5 pattern.

Um, I'll let people in on the secret that gendai just means 'modern'. So gendai haiku are to haiku as modern art is to art ...

I think anybody who does haiku in English is usually expecting to observe the traditional rules - the difficulty is seen as an essential part of the interest and pleasure of the form.