Spiritual trauma: did you have any?

Post by **_charity** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:01 am

liz3564 wrote:
I think it's unfair of you to tell Beastie to "grow up". It seems to me that she is quite grown up and has done a monumental job of gaining back her life.

Except for blaming the Church, which it sure sounds to me like she is doing.

Post by **_charity** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:03 am

beastie wrote: So for the vast majority of my marriage, I didn't even have labels for what was happening, and when you can't NAME it, you have a hard time truly understanding it and getting help.

Absolutely true. I agree 100%.

Post by **_Jersey Girl** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:03 am

charity wrote:
liz3564 wrote:
I think it's unfair of you to tell Beastie to "grow up". It seems to me that she is quite grown up and has done a monumental job of gaining back her life.

Except for blaming the Church, which it sure sounds to me like she is doing.

No, charity. I don't see her "blaming". I see beastie attributing her responses to her youth, ignorance of what constitutes abuse, the type of support/feedback she received from her religious community.

How is it that you only see church blame?

Post by **_wenglund** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:03 am

I am not sure what value, if any, will result from the bickering that has taken hold of this thread. As I see it, you all are, like me, deeply committed to stopping the cycle of abuse, and worthy of respect rather than condemnation. As such, wouldn't it make more sense to discontinue arguing nastily amongst each other, and devote that energy instead to the cause we all agree on (i.e. stopping the cycle of abuse) as we each may see fit, and encourage each other in our respective efforts?

There are people, like Rick, who sincerely feel they have been traumatized. Can't we take pause from the fruitless back and forth and extend them a hand of compassion and assistance (in whatever way we each may think best)?

Perhaps in that way, we can avoid inadvertantly contibuting to the cycle of abuse in how we interact with each other.

Just a thought during this time of giving and consideration of "peace on earth". ;-)

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Post by **_Trevor** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:04 am

Jersey Girl wrote:No, charity. I don't see her "blaming". I see beastie attributing her responses to her youth, ignorance of what constitutes abuse, the type of support/feedback she received from her religious community.

How is it that you only see church blame?

One word: apologist.

Post by **_harmony** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:05 am

charity wrote:
liz3564 wrote:
I think it's unfair of you to tell Beastie to "grow up". It seems to me that she is quite grown up and has done a monumental job of gaining back her life.

Except for blaming the Church, which it sure sounds to me like she is doing.

The only thing that she's blaming the church about (from what I can tell) is the way she was patted on the head when she brought the abuse her husband was heaping on her to the bishop. Not good. Not good at all. And then the bishop and her hubby became golfing buddies? AFTER she'd told the bishop about the abuse? Totally not good.

Reminds me of the time my bishop told me to not report the guy who'd tried to rape my 10 year old daughter... he was leaving on his mission the next week so what was the big deal? He'd be gone anyway. ARGH! HOW I wish I hadn't listened to him.

Post by **_Trevor** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:11 am

harmony wrote:Reminds me of the time my bishop told me to not report the guy who'd tried to rape my 10 year old daughter... he was leaving on his mission the next week so what was the big deal? He'd be gone anyway. ARGH! HOW I wish I hadn't listened to him.

Dear Lord that is awful!

_Yoda · Post by **_Yoda** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:13 am

Harmony wrote:Reminds me of the time my bishop told me to not report the guy who'd tried to rape my 10 year old daughter... he was leaving on his mission the next week so what was the big deal? He'd be gone anyway. ARGH! HOW I wish I hadn't listened to him.

If that had been my daughter, the kid would have lost his testicles. I'm not sure if I would have done it, or if my husband would have..and he's about as TBM as you can get. LOL

Post by **_harmony** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:16 am

liz3564 wrote:
Harmony wrote:Reminds me of the time my bishop told me to not report the guy who'd tried to rape my 10 year old daughter... he was leaving on his mission the next week so what was the big deal? He'd be gone anyway. ARGH! HOW I wish I hadn't listened to him.

If that had been my daughter, the kid would have lost his testicles. I'm not sure if I would have done it, or if my husband would have..and he's about as TBM as you can get. LOL

I wasn't nearly as ... ummm... spunky back then. And I listened to the counsel of my bishop. That was a mistake. I wish I'd reported him to the police. Too late now.

Post by **_Trevor** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:18 am

harmony wrote:I wish I'd reported him to the police. Too late now.

I really wish you had too. I'd hate to think that other little girls have been raped by this criminal.