Falling out between Dehlin and Kate Kelly?

[_cwald]

Oh hey lostindc, one more thing.

I think it is good these details have come out because I think it shines the light on the problems within Open Stories Foundation that you and many others have been talking about for years. And perhaps validates the warnings and accusations that Rosebud has been talking about in regards to the Open Stories Foundation financial fraud and problems, and the "cult of personality" within the MS community.

[_lostindc]

cwald,

I believe she is over it, I just think she had a hard time coming to terms with someone saying he loved her so much and then he sought to destroy so much of her life. I believe it was more about a lesson in relationships in general, not just romatic relationships, and also how humans can just be evil fuckheads.

Rosebud's experience was beyond some romance, she experience an abuse of power by some narcissistic asshole that took what he needed and then when he felt threatened he went full nuclear on her work life and personal life.

I believe you rang the bell a few times about dehlin. He used so many people to build his brand. I think Open Stories Foundation is starting to crumble.

If Open Stories Foundation crumbles, then many of these individuals that are starting to transition out of Mormonism will realize that exMos, NOMs, etc have no leaders. We don't need leaders and we certainly don't need mega personalities like Dehlin and Kate Kelly. But those of us that have been around long enough realize that Mormonism breeds Joseph Smith's, nibleys, Kate Kelly's, and John Dehlin's so a new leader will rise and try to build a new brand.

Typing from phone so I probably sucked up this post. I need to place a disclaimer.

[_Jersey Girl]

For some reason, I think it is the Mormonism in us, we continue to focus on rosebud as some sort of person that can't get past a previous romantic relationship with dehlin. I don't get why this receives the attention? Maybe it is our upbringing. Maybe we believe that a female just can't get over losing the patriarchal figure in their life, who the “F” knows? I don't know why you people continue to focus on this aspect.

If you haven't noticed, what dehlin did to rosebud wasn't just a romantic relationship breakup, rather, he shut her out of the venues she helped build, smeared her publicly and privately, attempted to destroy her personal life, tried to portray her as mentally unfit (she is plenty mentally sound, a brilliant mind), screwed her out of her passion to help individuals transitioning out of their faith, and a bunch more. Really went after what she sought to with her time and this is something that gave her life meaning. He didn't care because she was too much of a threat.

Rosebud is professionally and personally connected to the forums dehlin pushed her out of and attempted to crush her reputation. He screwed her over because he was too "in love" with her. In reality, he didn't like her transparency, used her enough to get what he needed, and was planning his BS excommunication and feared that she would be too honest about what dehlin planned to do in terms of excommunication and finances. Also, I believe she sought to have a more open realm with Open Stories Foundation where it was more about the community than just one person. This doesn't work for someone trying to brand himself.

I knew a bunch of this crap for several years. Other posters on this board were also aware of many of the issues surround dehlin Open Stories Foundation and Joanna (that's a whole other story that deserves attention).

Again people, imagine pouring yourself into a project, building relationships you love maintaining, finding much purpose in your work, and then having some asshole push you out because he wasn't comfortable with your transparency and desire to build a community instead of a public figure? Then have him smear you to your colleagues and people you helped. Have him block you from the communities you enjoyed and built. Have him try to steal the communities you built. Have him give you all kinds of bans and if you protest then he will continue to smear your name. Sounds fun, right?

Typing from phone and I suck at that...

I haven't missed any of this, lost, I assure you.

She is not doing herself any favors by engaging in a relationship with him on this message board in full public view, letting out more details about their relationship, and accompanying that with her website URL.

If she is brilliant as you say, I can tell you that she's not smart enough (yet) to keep her personal life separate from her professional life and she's proven that right on this very thread. She cannot use her expertise and education in psychology and particularly in the area of early childhood to help others unless and until she learns to use it to help herself.

When she's accomplished that task in her own growth and development, she may well be able to stand on her own and help others.

You cannot use the "we're all ex Mormons" to either discredit or explain or criticize my independent views of what I am seeing on this thread and have seen on other similar threads over the years.

My best guess (and this is only a guess) is that much of the way she views herself in relation to men and their leadership has to do with both the patriarchal system that is Mormonism and her relationship to and with her own father.

We are all a product of our childhood and considering her education, she should know that.

If Dehlin is or has engaged in fiscal irresponsibility, that is to be handled legally or not at all. If he misused his personal power to manipulate Rosebud, then she needs to figure out why she is drawn into that dynamic and identify what she's learned regarding rights to her own property and use that knowledge to guide her choices in the future.

What you don't do is put your personal drama on a public message board and self sabotage by linking it directly to your professional self.

What you don't do is make your first post on this thread a message directly to Dehlin and then claim you have moved on.

You need only to ask yourself why she did so here to figure out that she's not even close to where she needs to be psychologically and emotionally, and recognize that so long as she is compromised in those ways she can do little to help others.

[_cwald]

cwald...

Yeah. Very well said.

[_Jersey Girl]

cwald,

I believe she is over it, I just think she had a hard time coming to terms with someone saying he loved her so much and then he sought to destroy so much of her life.

Her first post on this thread.

John,

You can't diagnose people who aren't clients and the coaching profession does not use the medical model. "Anxiety" and "depression" are mood disorders. Coaching is a good, honest profession. Get training and read the research. Avoid the Martha Beck style and check out the ICF. Coaching is probably going to replace a lot of mental health in the future, but don't confuse it with psychology.

Real transparency is more difficult than claimed transparency. Since you don't want to be completely transparent, you should stop claiming transparency. Easy enough. (Goes for finances, "board" activities and by-laws.)

How about just making it an LLC? I bet you could get the board to give you the podcast at this point. I don't know how that might jive with the IRS, though. Could be some difficulties there. Can't the 501(c)3 sell assets to an LLC? If so, you'd then be clear to run it as a family business.

I'm sick of watching you repetitively harm vulnerable people who are in crisis. It takes a lot of strength for people to move on from Mormonism without all this sh1t between themselves and the real world.

Get it over with. Move through this instead of repeating the cycle.

-RB

[_Jersey Girl]

Here's the other thing.

If Dehlin is what she says he is, if he uses people to his own advantage, and if he's reading here, he's either :

1) Gloating over his power and influence

or

2) Possibly considering filing for a restraining order or hey, considering a defamation law suit.

Pick one.

Does Rosebud profit from this? Don't think so. Not seeing it.

Know how you demonstrate that you've moved on? You move on.

[_lostindc]

I haven't missed any of this, lost, I assure you.

She is not doing herself any favors by engaging in a relationship with him on this message board in full public view, letting out more details about their relationship, and accompanying that with her website URL.

If she is brilliant as you say, I can tell you that she's not smart enough (yet) to keep her personal life separate from her professional life and she's proven that right on this very thread. She cannot use her expertise and education in psychology and particularly in the area of early childhood to help others unless and until she learns to use it to help herself.

When she's accomplished that task in her own growth and development, she may well be able to stand on her own and help others.

You cannot use the "we're all ex Mormons" to either discredit or explain or criticize my independent views of what I am seeing on this thread and have seen on other similar threads over the years.

My best guess (and this is only a guess) is that much of the way she views herself in relation to men and their leadership has to do with both the patriarchal system that is Mormonism and her relationship to and with her own father.

We are all a product of our childhood and considering her education, she should know that.

If Dehlin is or has engaged in fiscal irresponsibility, that is to be handled legally or not at all. If he misused his personal power to manipulate Rosebud, then she needs to figure out why she is drawn into that dynamic and identify what she's learned regarding rights to her own property and use that knowledge to guide her choices in the future.

What you don't do is put your personal drama on a public message board and self sabotage by linking it directly to your professional self.

What you don't do is make your first post on this thread a message directly to Dehlin and then claim you have moved on.

You need only to ask yourself why she did so here to figure out that she's not even close to where she needs to be psychologically and emotionally, and recognize that so long as she is compromised in those ways she can do little to help others.

Dude, wtf are you talking about? You're just rambling on about your expectations for rosebud and other posters.

How do you know rosebud hurt herself professional by airing her personal information? Wtf do you know about the criteria needed to be successful in the fields rosebud walks?

What are earth puts you in the position to tell us where rosebud stands psychologically?

Reading your post reminds me of the insensitive person that will say crap like "she got what she deserved." Just a damned weird existence.

[_lostindc]

Here's the other thing.

If Dehlin is what she says he is, if he uses people to his own advantage, and if he's reading here, he's either :

1) Gloating over his power and influence

or

2) Possibly considering filing for a restraining order or hey, considering a defamation law suit.

Pick one.

Does Rosebud profit from this? Don't think so. Not seeing it.

Know how you demonstrate that you've moved on? You move on.

Or it doesn't have to be either of the two options you posted. It's okay for you to just say you "don't know." Maybe go easy on rosebud, I doubt you will.

[_Kishkumen]

Her first post on this thread.

The best observation on the thread. People who have moved on don't engage in such behavior.

[_Jersey Girl]

Dude, wtf are you talking about? You're just rambling on about your expectations for rosebud and other posters.

How do you know rosebud hurt herself professional by airing her personal information? Wtf do you know about the criteria needed to be successful in the fields rosebud walks?

What are earth puts you in the position to tell us where rosebud stands psychologically?

Because I know everything.

Reading your post reminds me of the insensitive person that will say crap like "she got what she deserved." Just a damned weird existence.

Do not assign to me words or thoughts or attitude that I have not posted here.