Sethbag wrote:There's a trainwreck going on here in slow-motion. I want to look away, but I just can't. ;-)
I know exactly what Scottie felt like when he was a teenager, because I felt somewhat the same way. SWK's "Miracle of Forgiveness" was still new enough, and the whole concept of "sexual sin being second only to murder", and for some reason they never really explained whether any given sexual sin was worse than any other, so they were all lumped in together in this one category. So yeah, thinking dirty thoughts was as bad as fornication according to Jesus in the Bible, and masturbation was "sexual sin", which we were assured was second only to murder. We were told that it would be better to get your son or daughter back home in a wood box than get them back home defiled through sexual sin. What a mind game!
And now, Scottie, you're getting more and more involved with a woman who is still deeply entrenched in that whole mindset. And she believes it, you know she does. That's reality to her, and she judges things by these values and how they stack up with her LDS notion of reality. Unless you can convince her that the church isn't really true, and that there's a different reality out there than the one she grew up with, this is the kind of crap you're setting yourself up for.
I know I am stealing this from someone I can't remember from this board, but I can sum up what and how I was taught about sex as a young boy in one sentence.
"Sex is dirty and filthy, save it for your wife."
The original that I came up with was, "Sex is dirty, filthy, nasty and a sin and you should save it for your wife."
Runtu wrote:I've told my boys that if the bishop ever asks them questions they find inappropriate, they are to tell him to talk to me about it. I do not want some stranger asking them the most private of questions.
Bishop didn't even have to ask me.
I made a special appointment with the Bishop myself, because I felt so guilty about it...
Jason Bourne wrote: But I do have concerns if they are preoccupied with it, if they watch porn while doing it or if it is taking a lot of time from other worth while activities.
What could be more worth while?
Also, what's the big deal about porn? Porn makes it better.
My goal is not really to debate what I say but I will respond.
First, I think a kid ought to be reading, watching good movies, studying, getting plenty of sleep, doing sports, hanging with friends. If the are masturbating to the point where it gets in the way of say sleep or studies well that is what I mean.
As for porn, I think when one MBs to porn it can develop a compulsive habit as well as potentially set them up for unhealthy views of women or men and human sexuality, especially if they are young when they use the porn. But that is really a topic for another thread.
Runtu wrote:I've told my boys that if the bishop ever asks them questions they find inappropriate, they are to tell him to talk to me about it. I do not want some stranger asking them the most private of questions.
Bishop didn't even have to ask me. I made a special appointment with the Bishop myself, because I felt so guilty about it...
Damn...
Me too. Used to meet with him every other week to give a report. How silly.
Jason Bourne wrote:Me too. Used to meet with him every other week to give a report. How silly.
Heh - that sounds familiar.
Wasn't quite 'every other week' for me, but yeah. There were 'regular updates'...
You know, I really get upset when I think about all this. I mean really, I thought I was the most awful sexual pervert in the world!! I remember when my older son came to me with the "problem." I thought it was a sin still then, but based on understanding how screwed up I was about it I was pretty gentle with him and tried to soften the sin issue bit still tried to get him to quit or limit it. About a year ago my wife was cleaning out a drawer and there was a journal entry that he had made when he was about 12-13 that explained how horrible he felt about masturbating and even thought about suicide because of it and it being so bad.
Well I had already modified my view about this but that just broke my friggin heart. He is 21 now. So I called him up and asked his forgiveness for not being rational and reasonable (I actually was pretty much in an LDS context and by the time he was 15 or so and he would tell me often on his own that he still did it-then I finally said to him not to worry a bit about it) about it being normal and I was sorry for the awful feelings he had about it.
Well anyway, I am rambling but this is a huge issue. I think it needs to change somehow in the LDS Church.
I never quite got to suicidal thoughts, but I was seriously considering castrating myself. You know the whole "if your eye offendeth thee, better to pluck it out" thinking. There was no way I could stop on my own, so better to castrate myself than to continue offending God like this.
These are some more good reasons I never want my sons, or daughters for that matter, to go through this.
If there's one thing I've learned from this board, it's that consensual sex with multiple partners is okay unless God commands it. - Abman
I find this place to be hostile toward all brands of stupidity. That's why I like it. - Some Schmo
Sethbag wrote:There's a trainwreck going on here in slow-motion. I want to look away, but I just can't. ;-)
I know exactly what Scottie felt like when he was a teenager, because I felt somewhat the same way. SWK's "Miracle of Forgiveness" was still new enough, and the whole concept of "sexual sin being second only to murder", and for some reason they never really explained whether any given sexual sin was worse than any other, so they were all lumped in together in this one category. So yeah, thinking dirty thoughts was as bad as fornication according to Jesus in the Bible, and masturbation was "sexual sin", which we were assured was second only to murder. We were told that it would be better to get your son or daughter back home in a wood box than get them back home defiled through sexual sin. What a mind game!
And now, Scottie, you're getting more and more involved with a woman who is still deeply entrenched in that whole mindset. And she believes it, you know she does. That's reality to her, and she judges things by these values and how they stack up with her LDS notion of reality. Unless you can convince her that the church isn't really true, and that there's a different reality out there than the one she grew up with, this is the kind of crap you're setting yourself up for.
I know I am stealing this from someone I can't remember from this board, but I can sum up what and how I was taught about sex as a young boy in one sentence.
"Sex is dirty and filthy, save it for your wife."
The original that I came up with was, "Sex is dirty, filthy, nasty and a sin and you should save it for your wife."
Thanks Bryan
I really liked it, I think it really sums the teaching situation in the church up quite well. I am glad that you corrected it for me and got the credit you deserve.
I never quite got to suicidal thoughts, but I was seriously considering castrating myself. You know the whole "if your eye offendeth thee, better to pluck it out" thinking. There was no way I could stop on my own, so better to castrate myself than to continue offending God like this.
These are some more good reasons I never want my sons, or daughters for that matter, to go through this.
I had the same thought come to me, that perhaps I'd be better off castrating myself, and for the exact same reason. Thank God good sense prevailed in the end. But it does go to show how warped and retarded the thought process can be about this.
Mormonism ceased being a compelling topic for me when I finally came to terms with its transformation from a personality cult into a combination of a real estate company, a SuperPac, and Westboro Baptist Church. - Kishkumen