Exmos

Post by **_Sethbag** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:34 pm

As for myself, I was very down in the dumps about all of this stuff when I first made the step over to the other side of belief. It took all I had in me emotionally and intellectually to be willing to make that step, and I was frightened of venturing into the unknown. Mormonism had defined so much of my worldview for so long that I wasn't sure how I would fit into the real world for the rest of my life, having to start over at 36 finding my way in it. I'm still not out of this stage. I was overweight when this first came to a head, but I gained a lot more weight since then, so I know it's had a dramatic impact on me, and the weight gain is a sign of the inner turmoil.

As for my family, I was mostly afraid of how my wife would react. I broke it to her slowly, bit by bit. Still, she had terrible emotional outbursts when I first told her I simply didn't believe the church was true anymore, at all. She's threatened more than once to divorce me over it, but if you knew my wife, she's been threatening to divorce me every time she loses her temper ever since we got married 16 years ago, and it hasn't happened yet. Still, I get the impression she was more serious about it after the church revelations than before. She's argued that she needs a man who will lead her to the Celestial Kingdom and wield the Priesthood in the home. I've stopped wearing garments, giving blessings, or acting like I represent Elohim in my home, so apparently that's a big bummer for her.

The rest of my own family have been kind of mystified by the whole thing. For many years my entire family were active believers. Now my family has one of those guys in it, you know, the unbeliever who has "lost his way". When the subject comes up my brother, who is otherwise a pretty smart guy, just launches into a tirade about how everything I'm saying I just know nothing about, and how I'm just trying to justify my decision to leave the church (I haven't officially left it, just checked out mentally). I haven't yet spoken to either of my sisters about it, but I'm sure they know. My mom can't have failed to tell them about it. My dad actually knows a lot of the "bad facts" about Joseph Smith, but has found a way to justify continued belief in his mind, by basically putting it all on the shelf, and telling himself that God will reveal the true answers in his own due time, be that during life or in the spirit world. We've talked about it, and he always falls back to saying I'm attacking his beliefs and being negative, and that he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.

I'm going up there to visit my family after Christmas. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out. I'm planning on writing a paper that I can print off and have bound at Kinkos that will explain why I now believe the way I do. I'm going to give each of my siblings and parents a copy of it when I go up there. If they don't want to read it, that's their choice. If they don't want to talk about it, that's their choice. But they're going to have it all laid out for them exactly why I think the way I do about the church now. This will disabuse them of any notion that I left because I got offended, or wanted to sin, or whatever it is they imagine.

Post by **_Infymus** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:37 pm

Jason Bourne wrote:Mormonism has more of a grip on you know then it even did. Bet you spend more time with it and on it then you ever did before. of course in a different way. Why don't you just pull down your really bad web site and move on?

Ok, right away.

Hang on a second.

Post by **_Sethbag** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:38 pm

Jason Bourne wrote: (regarding Infymus's post)

Mormonism has more of a grip on you know then it even did. Bet you spend more time with it and on it then you ever did before. of course in a different way. Why don't you just pull down your really bad web site and move on?

He has the missionary zeal. How is this any different than TBMs handing out brain-dead sappy giveaway cards to all and sundry? Just as we went on missions because we felt we had something we needed to share with others, Infymus now believes he's helping people by steering them clear of Mormonism, or out of it, as the case may be. He sees the church as a net negative, and wants to do something about it. How is that so bad?

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:40 pm

Infymus wrote:
Jason Bourne wrote:Mormonism has more of a grip on you know then it even did. Bet you spend more time with it and on it then you ever did before. of course in a different way. Why don't you just pull down your really bad web site and move on?

Ok, right away.

Hang on a second.

Great reply. :)

Post by **_barrelomonkeys** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:41 pm

Sethbag wrote:
Jason Bourne wrote: (regarding Infymus's post)

Mormonism has more of a grip on you know then it even did. Bet you spend more time with it and on it then you ever did before. of course in a different way. Why don't you just pull down your really bad web site and move on?

He has the missionary zeal. How is this any different than TBMs handing out brain-dead sappy giveaway cards to all and sundry? Just as we went on missions because we felt we had something we needed to share with others, Infymus now believes he's helping people by steering them clear of Mormonism, or out of it, as the case may be. He sees the church as a net negative, and wants to do something about it. How is that so bad?

When I first came to this board I created a thread that pertained to the missionary zeal.

Perhaps the LDS missionary zeal carried over to some to share their newfound truth when they left? I think that's certainly a possibility?

Post by **_Sethbag** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:45 pm

barrelomonkeys wrote:
Sethbag wrote:
Jason Bourne wrote: (regarding Infymus's post)

Mormonism has more of a grip on you know then it even did. Bet you spend more time with it and on it then you ever did before. of course in a different way. Why don't you just pull down your really bad web site and move on?

He has the missionary zeal. How is this any different than TBMs handing out brain-dead sappy giveaway cards to all and sundry? Just as we went on missions because we felt we had something we needed to share with others, Infymus now believes he's helping people by steering them clear of Mormonism, or out of it, as the case may be. He sees the church as a net negative, and wants to do something about it. How is that so bad?

When I first came to this board I created a thread that pertained to the missionary zeal.

Perhaps the LDS missionary zeal carried over to some to share their newfound truth when they left? I think that's certainly a possibility?

Absolutely, but it's not just an LDS thing. I think all kinds of people who believe they've learned some important truth feel the need to share it with others. LDS do this, some other churches do it, political zealots often do, and so forth. I think that this attitude and pattern are pretty much par for the human course.

Post by **_silentkid** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:47 pm

John Larsen wrote:Any expression of being down or things not going our way is seen as a sure sign that we are under the condemnation of God.

...or that we have "lost the spirit". My TBM sister has had the hardest time accepting that my struggles with depression are not a result of my having "fallen away". I'm finally getting her to understand that I suffered depression while I was an active, believing Mormon.

Post by **_John Larsen** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:48 pm

There is a natural tendency for all people to share their beliefs and world views with others. I don’t know why we tend to see this as such a negative in people who disagree with us.

Post by **_Who Knows** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:49 pm

Doctor Steuss wrote:To those who have "left" the Church and have family still in:

Do you feel like your non-LDS-ness is always a monster lurking in the corner when you’re around family?

Yes, but it's never talked about. Neither of my parents have even broached the subject since the day I told them 7 months ago. I live about 15 minutes from them, and see them all the time. But they've never said a word. Oh, well, actually, my dad invited me to priesthood session a few weeks ago, and I just said no thanks. It's like it never happened. Crazy.

Oh, and Trinity - I love the avatar. I'm a big trinity fan. I didn't know that's where your name came from (since your previous avatar wasn't matrix related).

Back on halloween, I was trick or treating in alpine with the kids, and we passed a couple dressed up as neo and trinity. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. I told my wife that's what we have to do next year.

Post by **_Imwashingmypirate** » Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:54 pm

Infymus wrote:When I had my name removed, I didn’t know the Corporation wasn’t what it claimed to be. All I knew was that I was in complete disagreement with the Mormon God, and I turned my back on him and his doctrine. The Mormon God was a racist, a murderer and a God that wanted strict obedience and money before he would ever love you.
....
.

God is always the same. How he is portrayed is the fault of the people. Not God.