OPEN LETTER to Runtu

[_Radex]

College in my state costs about 1600 dollars per Semester full time, community college. Not bad. At the moment, I'm my Dad's caregiver. He can't take a crap by himself. He can't cook meals by himself. We live in two separate motel rooms, because I'm UBER-allergic to nicotine, and he smokes.....all day.....all night. His credit is no good, and I am not employee elsewhere. So, we must stay in too motel rooms. He can't afford an Altzeimer's home. He makes too much to get Government assistance, but too little to pay 200 to 300 per DAY for an Alzheimer's home. So, I take care of him. All meals. All bathrooms. I go out and buy his food and cigarettes. In return, I get 20 per day spending money and free room and board. We can save maybe 100 to 200 dollars a month, if that. But, I'm saving up for trucking school.

My good Daheshist,

I now understand the situation you're in a little bit better. Thank you. Are you getting disability money from the government? How about housing assistance? I wanted to focus on the silver lining in your post - trucking school. I think that is a great option for you (if you like to drive truck). Lorry drivers are in demand, and they make decent wages.

Is my life "consumed by loneliness and bitterness"? I am lonely because I am poor. That has nothing to do with my fight against Mormonism. I am HAPPY to fight against Mormonism. It gives my life purpose, meaning, a "cause" to fight for. It makes me happy.

Aside from hurting yourself or others, I support whatever makes you happy, my darling, but it seems like you're fighting a battle you can never win. Have you considered letting the Mormonism thing go? Have you tried it?

Thanks for your suggestion about going to college. I would, if I could! Thank you.

You're quite welcome. College isn't for everyone; it wasn't for me.

I am just curious, others here have said you were the author of an LDS book. Might I ask about this book and whether you made any money from its publishing?

[_moksha]

... and then you have two fat chicks dancing together because no man ever asks them, ...

Something tells me that Dr. Dahesh would find you praiseworthy if you asked them to dance. The good you do will live long after you. Release some good karma into the Universe.

Knowing that you drive a 1973 Pinto and have rotting floor boards in your apartment, touched my heart and makes me want to be kinder toward you. Hope you can find bliss in whatever course you take.

[_Chap]

Good luck, Daheshist!

[_Yoda]

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, I can't get a student loan. I screwed up my first one. Half my fault. Half the fault of FannyMae, who wanted me to pay for loans I got to attend Rio Hondo College. They only problem was, I never attended that college, and I never got loans to attend. People here in the States steal your information, especially social security number, birth-date, etc. I.D. theft. So, I went to Rio Hondo College, and they finally agreed...yep...you never attended here. Got a letter from them. Send the letter to FannyMae (private student loan company), and they said, "We don't care! Pay it back or else". So, I said, "Else". And it was defaulted. You are right...I should have paid on it, even though....I never took out a student loan for Rio Hondo College. But, I did take out a loan for another college. I got sick, E-Coli, had to quit school mid-semester. Was paying on the true loan, when Fanny Mae demanded I also pay on the Rio Hondo loan which I never applied for and never got. I got mad, and said "F-YOU". But...you are right, I should have paid them both back, even though I was only responsible for the lesser of them. My bad. Now I'm paying for it.

Can I get a judge to say "clear" my name and student loan record? Sure! That will cost me about 5,000 to 10,000 dollars in attorney fees by the time all is said and done. I can barely pay my rent. I have no bank account whatsoever. So....s*** happens. And, even if my name is cleared, then I must work a job and support myself while going to school, that does not conflict with school hours. And that job must pay me enough to survive as well as pay for my tuition, which here is 1800 per semester including books.

College in my state costs about 1600 dollars per Semester full time, community college. Not bad. At the moment, I'm my Dad's caregiver. He can't take a crap by himself. He can't cook meals by himself. We live in two separate motel rooms, because I'm UBER-allergic to nicotine, and he smokes.....all day.....all night. His credit is no good, and I am not employee elsewhere. So, we must stay in too motel rooms. He can't afford an Altzeimer's home. He makes too much to get Government assistance, but too little to pay 200 to 300 per DAY for an Alzheimer's home. So, I take care of him. All meals. All bathrooms. I go out and buy his food and cigarettes. In return, I get 20 per day spending money and free room and board. We can save maybe 100 to 200 dollars a month, if that. But, I'm saving up for trucking school. But, thanks for your suggestion. You did so because you want to help, and I appreciate that. I plan to go to trucking school in about another 4 or 5 months. I have to save for that, and also I have to hire a girl to take care of my dad while I'm in trucking school, and while I'm working at it (if I can find a job at it). No girl is gonna work 8 hours a day taking care of my dad for 40 dollars a day. So, I'll have to pay her some of my income as well. But, truckers are paid ok. The trucking companies want Congress to "ok" them hiring Mexican nationals to drive trucks. Why? Because they can pay Mexican nationals LESS, far less, than Americans. Although there is about 10% unemployment among Americans (it is in reality much hire than than 10%), there are 1 to 2 million illegals coming into this country every year, with about 1 million LEGAL aliens. The legal aliens get free eduction, free place to live for a time period while they are in school. Illegals can go to school here just like American citizens, no questions asked. Also, the illegals are all on welfare, because they have young children, no questions asked. So, hopefully, Congress will NOT allow the trucking companies to hire Mexican nationals! Millions of Americans are out of work, an the trucking companies want to hire Mexican nationals and pay them $12,000 per year, because they Americans need twice that or more to survive and raise a family here. Hopefully, Congress will not allow this. If it does, I won't be able to get a job in trucking.

I could get my old job back working 12 hours a day six days a week taking old folks and brain injured to doctor appointments, but....at $900 per month and no time for school...why? At least taking care of my Dad, I have time to mess around on Mormon Discussions.

Is my life "consumed by loneliness and bitterness"? I am lonely because I am poor. That has nothing to do with my fight against Mormonism. I am HAPPY to fight against Mormonism. It gives my life purpose, meaning, a "cause" to fight for. It makes me happy.

Darrick, thanks for sharing your situation with us. I understand what it is like to take care of an ill parent. I took care of my Dad for four months when he had some serious issues following a stroke. Thank heavens, he has recoverd to the point where he can walk again, and is still fairly independent, as far as being able to bathe, feed himself, etc. But there was a while where I was helping him with those things.

I am really pleased to see that you have a goal. It sounds like trucking school would be a good option for you, and if it is something that you are interested in, and think you would do well with, that is great!

As far as home health assistance is concerned, PM me. There are some rehabilitation organizations that might be able to help with your Dad, even though the income level is "in-between". Both of my daughters work as rehabilitation technicians for an organization that helps clients like your Dad with life skills, and it is home health care oriented.

Good luck with your goals! :-)

Hey, is your book available as an e-book on Amazon or Nook? That might be a great way to generate a little extra income. E-books are a great new medium.

[_Runtu]

Lest Darrick thinks I'm ignoring his OP, I am still trying to figure out how to respond. I'm not particularly interested in Dasheshism, to be honest, but I appreciate that you want to help. I am not depressed and have not been for about 4 years, which is to me rather miraculous. I'll get back to the OP later, but I have 2 days of oil-industry training starting in about 30 minutes, so I probably won't be around much.

[_harmony]

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, I can't get a student loan. I screwed up my first one. Half my fault. Half the fault of FannyMae, who wanted me to pay for loans I got to attend Rio Hondo College.

Not FannyMae. Salliemae. If you don't even know who screwed you, no wonder you can't make it.

We live in two separate motel rooms, because I'm UBER-allergic to nicotine, and he smokes.....all day.....all night. His credit is no good, and I am not employee elsewhere. So, we must stay in too motel rooms.

And yet you still have internet.

I could get my old job back working 12 hours a day six days a week taking old folks and brain injured to doctor appointments, but....at $900 per month and no time for school...why?

On what planet do doctors work Saturdays?

At least taking care of my Dad, I have time to mess around on Mormon Discussions.

And money to pay internet.

Is my life "consumed by loneliness and bitterness"? I am lonely because I am poor.

No, you're lonely because you don't know how to not be lonely. You don't know how to be friendly, you have no social skills, and you have too much ego to acknowledge your weaknesses. You have no humility. Your financial status has nothing to do with your loneliness, but it suits you to believe that it does. You blame others for your situation, (it's the government's fault, it's the economy's fault, it's the church's fault, it's the rich people's fault, etc etc etc) when it really is your fault. Wasting away in Margaretaville indeed.

[_Chap]

My goodness harmony! The guy may be bitter and looking for people to blame, but isn't he suffering enough without you telling him how it is mostly his own fault that he is feeling bad?

There may be times when you can say that kind of thing to somebody face to face when you have won their trust, and then it may do some good. But this is not going to help anybody, I suspect.

Moreover, this post doesn't sound like you. Are you having a bad day? I do know that some of your days are less than pleasant to live through.

And as for the 'you can't be poor because you can afford internet' - Daheshist should apologise because he can afford to pay the few dollars needed in order to have some contact with other human beings? You remind me of the gentlemen from Dublin:

Flann O'Brien, The Poor Mouth (1964):

‘There was a man in this townland at one time and he was named Sitric O’Sanassa. He had the best hunting, a generous heart and every other good quality which earn praise and respect at all tirnes, But alas! there was another report abroad concerning him which was neither good nor fortunate. He possessed the very best poverty, hunger and distress also. He was generous and open-handed and he never possessed the smallest object which he did not share with the neighbours; nevertheless, I can never remember him during my time possessing the least thing, even the quantity of little potatoes needful to keep body and soul joined together. In Corkadoragha, where every human being was sunk in poverty, we always regarded him as a recipient of alms and compassion. The gentlemen from Dublin who came in motors to inspect the paupers praised him for his Gaelic poverty and stated that they never saw anyone who appeared so truly Gaelic. One of the gentlemen broke a little bottle of water which Sitric had, because, said he, it spoiled the effect. There was no one in Ireland comparable to O’Sanassa in the excellence of his poverty; the amount of famine which was delineated in his person. He had neither pig nor cup nor any household goods. In the depths of winter I often saw him on the hillside fighting and competing with a stray dog, both contending for a narrow hard bone and the same snorting and angry barking issuing from them both. He had no cabin either, nor any acquaintance with shelter or kitchen heat. He had excavated a hole with his two hands in the middle of the countryside and over its mouth he had placed old sacks and branches of trees as well as any useful object that might provide shelter against the water which came down on the countryside every night. Strangers passing by thought that he was a badger in the earth when they perceived the heavy breathing which came from the recesses of the hole as well as the wild appearance of the habitation in general.’ (88-89)

[Guest]

Dear Sir,

As payment for being my father's caregiver, I get room and board, and wifi internet comes with the room, which is a one room with a bathroom and small kitchnette. One room.

I don't think I have too much of an ego. I've acknowledged by weaknesses all over the place. You say I "have no humility". That is funny.

Do I have "social skills"? I believe I do. I'm just not a drinker, not interested in sports, don't take drugs, not into Goth. I don't have much in common with most people my age. I am interested in Ghost-Hunting, and I have a few ghost-hunting friends that I meet up with occassionally.

I'm anti-mormon, but I'm not an Atheist nor an Evangelical, and Atheists are not tolerant of my Daheshism and neither are Evangelicals. I post on Post-Mormon websites "Hey, try Daheshism as a spiritual alternative for Post-Mormons" and I'm BANNED immediately as if I've called somebody's mother a whore. You can promote Atheism, and maybe even Buddhism on post-Mormon websites, and Agnosticism, but not Daheshism. But I'm very "friendly" to everybody. Can I get a woman? ABSOLUTELY!!! But, again, I'm poor, and poor men can only get FAT and/or very old/ugly woman, and they turn me off. So, why try?

Most Mormons I knew had problems with inflated egos. I can assure you, my ego is rather small compared with most Mormons I knew. Your "judgments" of me are so typical of many Mormons I knew. I'm so glad I'm now Anti-Mormon.

Did I blame my situation on the economy? Where did I do that?

Did I blame my situation on rich people? Where did I do that?

Show me please, in any of my posts, where I blamed my "poverty" on the economy or rich people? Where? Where? You can't, because I never wrote that. I never blamed rich Mormons for me being poor. I said rich Mormons are "usually" very ego-centrict, immoral in their private lives, and DESPISE THE POOR. They didn't make me poor. They DESPISE THE POOR. Not all of them. I would say "most" based upon my personal experiences with affluent Mormons. I don't base that upon "looking" at them and saying, "Ah, I be that guy is immoral in his private life! I bet he is ego-centric and despises the poor! I don't even have to meet him! I just bet you he is all these things!" NO....!!!! My "judgment" on affluent Mormons is based upon ____knowing them_______ for 30 years, after many years of interactions with them. Most of the ones I knew were haughty, ego-centric, prideful, quasi-honest, immoral in their private lives, and they did indeed "despise the poor". Some of them were socio-paths and megalomaniacs. I think affluent Mormon culture "breeds" such kind of men and women.

I am "poor" because I made the wrong choices in life. Like, for example: to spend many years doing research to defend the Church. That was a mistake. Horrible mistake. Also, other "factors" contribute to my situation. Not "cause" but they don't help: my Multiple Chemical Sensitivity (I'm allergic to most synthetic chemicals), the fact that many employers won't hire white males my age, but will hire illegals (because they work very hard, never quit, never complain, never talk back), my frequent Panic Attacks that went undiagnosed for 30 years....all these are contributing factors. Also, the FACT that the United States has sent most of its manufacturing jobs to China....is not helpful either. But a bad economy was not the root cause of my "poverty"; my own choices were. But other factors do contribute.

Am I "lonely"? All men would like romantic love. I could "get" a woman, but she would be about 300 pounds. I'm turned off by such women. I can't "romantically" love such women. I can't "fall" for them. I've tried. So...why bother?

I have two "causes" in life: Daheshism, and anti-Mormonism. Those are the two things which "inspire" me, and it gives me PLEASURE to work promoting both of them. I enjoy it. They give me "purpose in life". I'm not fighting Mormonism in "bitterness". I'm fighting it in THE PURE JOY of doing so. It is quite fun, and I do so not with a scowl on my face but with a massive grin.

Is my life "consumed by loneliness and bitterness"? I am lonely because I am poor.

No, you're lonely because you don't know how to not be lonely. You don't know how to be friendly, you have no social skills, and you have too much ego to acknowledge your weaknesses. You have no humility. Your financial status has nothing to do with your loneliness, but it suits you to believe that it does. You blame others for your situation, (it's the government's fault, it's the economy's fault, it's the church's fault, it's the rich people's fault, etc etc etc) when it really is your fault. Wasting away in Margaretaville indeed.

[_Daheshist]

Runtu,

I'm glad you are feeling better. Most ex-Mormons aren't interested in any religion, because they've been "burned". Same is true for ex-WWCOGists, ex-JWs, ex-SDAs....they are no longer capable of believing in God or Prophets, because they've been burned. But, let me assure you, Dahesh was a Prophet! He appeared me to me in 2005. He's appeared to many others. He worked thousands of supernatural miracles, and many witnesses still alive today. If you can overcome the psychological reaction of being "burned" by religion, I would encourage you to read "The Book of Testimonies"; eyewitness accounts of Dr. Dahesh and his miracles. Dahesh was Jesus in a previous incarnation. He had power over the elements.
To read "The Book of Testimonies" just go to:
http://markofcain.angelfire.com/WHY.html


I looked into the same oil industry training. In Price right? Anyway, I look forward to reading your book.

Lest Darrick thinks I'm ignoring his OP, I am still trying to figure out how to respond. I'm not particularly interested in Dasheshism, to be honest, but I appreciate that you want to help. I am not depressed and have not been for about 4 years, which is to me rather miraculous. I'll get back to the OP later, but I have 2 days of oil-industry training starting in about 30 minutes, so I probably won't be around much.

[_just me]

My favorite 'miracle' of Dr. D is when he made a fake lotto ticket and had his friend turn it in to get the winnings.

Priceless.