I wasted two years of my life

[_quaker]

I am glad that we have all come to recognize the grand luminary thought that social pressure exists only within the Church.

[_Yoda]

I am glad that we have all come to recognize the grand luminary thought that social pressure exists only within the Church.

Who has stated this?

Of course, social pressure comes from all types of places. But, this is a Mormon Discussions board.

Most of us here have some type of affiliation with the Church. Mormonism is more than a religion. It is a culture. I don't think you will find anyone here, member, ex-member, or non-member, disputing that statement.

So, yes, it is a valid comment that social pressure exists for young men in the Mormon community to serve full-time missions.

[Guest]

Though I struggled with guilt during and after my service, I kept it too myself all of these years. I would add that my guilt was not for any moral transgression or being a slack missionary. I stayed out of mischief the entire mission (everyone is different, but once out in the field, I kept all the rules). My guilt was because my best was never good enough. Their definition of "my best" was beyond my capacity (and always will be).

Although I became a better public speaker, memorizer, learned the hard way to get along with the most severe of jerks as companions and to be less of one myself (as my wife no doubt is greatful), the benefits to others as well as myself fell well below my expectations.

The church stole that time from me, the friends I left, my family and that of my sons.

Supporting your sons as you did, even though you had doubts, is commendable. EVen if the benefits you speak of fell well below your expectations, can you see no benefits at all?

I think one of the worst things we can do to ourselves is set up impossible goals. And judge ourselves bya failure to reach what was never reachable in the first place. We are never required to run faster than we have strength, and the Lord looks at what we are trying to do, not what is eventually done. He makes up for what we can't do if we do all we can.

The bitterness of thinking your time was stolen is sad. No one can steal what you freely gave.

[_Runtu]

Supporting your sons as you did, even though you had doubts, is commendable. EVen if the benefits you speak of feel well below your expectations, can you see no benefits at all?

And yet Merc was "chicken" for doing exactly the same thing.

I think one of the worst things we can do to ourselves is set up impossible goals. And judge ourselves bya failure to reach what was never reachable in the first place. We are never required to run faster than we have strength, and the Lord looks at what we are trying to do, not what is eventually done. He makes up for what we can't do if we do all we can.

The bitterness of thinking your time was stolen is sad. No one can steal what you freely gave.

I believe law-enforcement officials would disagree with you.

I don't regret going on my mission. I didn't go out of peer pressure or family pressure. I was the only one of my parents' four sons to serve a mission. I lived in deplorable conditions, was sick more than a little of the time (and still have health issues from my mission), and more than once put my safety at risk. But I learned a lot about myself. I learned I was much stronger than I had thought I was; I could handle much more than I had ever imagined. I learned that I didn't need material things to be happy. I learned to work hard, to speak in public, and to lead. I don't regret serving at all.

A lot of people on my mission were there for the "wrong" reasons. Many didn't believe or struggled to believe. But I wouldn't call anyone a "chicken" for sticking it out and trying to make it work. I'm sure there's a lot you could say about Merc, but to call him a chicken is just plain, well, nasty.

[_SUAS]

I could have gone to school and finished sooner. I could have gone to California with friends and got involved with the internet bubble. Hell, I could have backpacked around Europe with close High School friends. Joined the military, hell...droped out and smoked pot for 2 years. All of these activities would have been more positive than my mission. I was already on my way out. All I did was put myself through an eye gouging manic two years. When I got back and was still trying to be a good RM, dating and eventually succumbing and getting married in the temple , I still kicked myself. But now I kick myself even harder.

can't get the time back. Wish I could, but ow well. Until there is a class action lawsuit I have no hopes for my concerns being addressed. Screw the cult.

No you can't get back those two years, they are gone forever but don't look at them as time wasted. Look at them as two years of learning about yourself. You found your way out of the "cult" which is good. You now see the world through new eyes, eyes that see things clearly now, no more rose colored glasses.
You were not weak, you are strong.

The amount of pressure that is put on a young mans shoulders to serve a mission and get married in the temple is over whelming, hopefully you have come away with some happiness.

[_moksha]

From this point on, I think Mercury should devote himself to the invention of the Flux Capacitor. In the mean time, have a V8.

[_Trinity]

My 18 year old son's good friend was informed by his father six months ago that he would serve a mission or lose his entire family inheritance. I expect that to be somewhere around eight million dollars right now. My son's friend has admitted to me that he is agnostic.

Of course there is overwhelming pressure for these boys to attend, whether they want to or not. Certainly it makes them no chicken for going when they don't want, or are not prepared, to go.

Is my son's friend going to be a good missionary? Well, he likes to abuse prescription drugs, he tells me he functions better when he is on them. He knows all about flaws of Mormonism and doesn't believe a word that comes out of Joseph Smith's mouth.

Will he fake it to get into the mission field? Absolutely. Eight million is a lot of money to an 18 year old boy.

Now let's talk about the culture that compels dad to make a son choose between a mission and the family inheritance.

[_SUAS]

My 18 year old son's good friend was informed by his father six months ago that he would serve a mission or lose his entire family inheritance. I expect that to be somewhere around eight million dollars right now. My son's friend has admitted to me that he is agnostic.

Of course there is overwhelming pressure for these boys to attend, whether they want to or not. Certainly it makes them no chicken for going when they don't want, or are not prepared, to go.

Is my son's friend going to be a good missionary? Well, he likes to abuse prescription drugs, he tells me he functions better when he is on them. He knows all about flaws of Mormonism and doesn't believe a word that comes out of Joseph Smith's mouth.

Will he fake it to get into the mission field? Absolutely. Eight million is a lot of money to an 18 year old boy.

Now let's talk about the culture that compels dad to make a son choose between a mission and the family inheritance.

This happens more than anyone wants to admit. Young men serving a mission because of the overwhelming pressure.

It would be a fall from grace for the parents if their sons did not serve a mission.

Yes lets talk about a culture that compels a dad to make a son choose between a mission and the family inheritance.

I would go on a mission for eight million dollars and I could fake it very well for that amount of money.

[_Dr. Shades]

Eight million is a lot of money to an 18 year old boy.

??? Eight million dollars is also a lot of money to me--a 38 year old man!

[_LCD2YOU]

Eight million is a lot of money to an 18 year old boy.

??? Eight million dollars is also a lot of money to me--a 38 year old man!

Hell, for $8Million, baptise me now, give me the magic pjs and send me on a mission!

Are there enough missionaries in the US Virgin Islands? I'll serve there. Another acceptable location would be someplace in the former USSR where some ladies can vie on who gets a shot at returning to the US with me as a Dolly Convert.

It would all be based on who had the best, er, spiritual, er, qualifications. Who could take the most "Holy Spirit" the deepest could be a winner.