EAllusion wrote:Ray A wrote:
Then perhaps he should have made that clear, but what he said was "soul mates is an illusion".
Well, where I come from the term "soulmates" refers to the notion that there is one person out there perfectly suited for them. That's because when you romatically love someone, it can feel that way. That's what is an illusion. I suggest you explain to BKP that soul mates are like salt. Boyd really is just trying to tell people to settle with what's available, even if it isn't the gold standard. The rest of the comment is, "while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price," so we're not talking about great marriage advice here.
For more EA on soulmates see here:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/show ... t=soulmate
People form connections with one another that make it seem like a person is a a perfect match for another and that the personal attachment formed is special in a way no other can be. That makes perfect sense as a cognitive-emotional state people have, especially for a species that forms longterm pair-bonds for mating. Contrary to people claiming that those who disbelieve in soul-mates need more "experience", I can safely say I've felt like a person was a "soul-mate" in that sense, even when I intellectually know that my relationship forming had more to due with general compatibility and circumstance.
That doesn't make the feeling any less desireable, meaningful, or worth maintaining. It's when people take those feelings and conclude that that person must actually be a soul-mate, one person uniquely qualified to fulfill them in this manner, that things go awry. It's not that the feelings aren't real, just that the intepretation of them leads to false conclusions about reality.
Yah, glad you posted that.
I think it's merely a trickeroni your body does on you when it pumps you full of chemicals where you only have eyes for your beloved.
It feels a certain way, yet, you've really gone quite insane.:)