I was the son of a CES man. My father retired a decade ago, but there is some overlap with John McClay and I would surmise my father might have known him. My father was the Area Director in Colorado, at the University of Colorado at Boulder. He visited every teacher and employee in the area. I await him returning from out of town to ask him.
1. Hooking up with CES is really a dangerous thing to do if things aren't exactly right in your life, and really, who is perfect in their lives and marriage? Unhappiness with your CES job translates to unhappiness with the Church.
I am not sure what you mean by this. My observations from my father and many lengthy discussions with him and his colleagues are the following. 1) It is sometimes difficult to assimilate into CES from other jobs or when you are older. But overall, no one is perfect in their lives or marriage, most CES couples are very young and just out of graduating from college when they accept their first position. My observations from when I was a young boy until the present (42) - is overall the "happiness" (although I find it now contrived) among these couples is extremely high, with extremely high job satisfaction - I would say a level up from your garden variety TBM. My mother worked, and many other spouses I became familiar with from my father worked outside the home. I find many of the perceptions given by the McClays to 20 years ago. I am no longer Mormon, but I agree with John McClay when he says he doesn't believe he is a trend that is beginning. I asked my father a couple years ago if he knew anyone in the 35 years he worked for CES that apostasized - he knew no one and hadn't even heard rumors of ones he didn't know. I am sure there are, but CES keeps them in and keeps them strong.
The kind of raw ambition and assertiveness you need in your job from day to day is inappropriate in a church setting. John couldn't deal with this conflict. Weakness in the CES system and its personnel translated to weakness in the Church.
This is unbalanced. A sort of mission field equivalence of not seeking for higher positions permeates the culture along with a years in service usually translating to "promotions" into administration keeps it balanced of most satisfied. Many though ask to remain teaching in university settings, most of their passions are in teaching. John McClay was only a few years from earning very close to 6 figures with high job satisfaction. There is simply no way to respect his deciding to leave this fraternity the reasons you assert. He knew the well-known problems with the doctrine and history of the church.
I've long had my objections to CES. [And EFY for that matter.]
This is an unusual aspect of the story. My father despised the EFY program and wouldn't let me attend as a youth. I believe John McClay brought that with him into CES - not CES giving him EFY.
In one funny anecdote, John relates a comment by Elder L. Thom Perry as to whether or when CES would join the Church. The time will come when CES as we know it will come to an end and the educational system at the high school and local institute level will come under the control of the stake presidents (with the possible exception of larger Utah universities, which will be under the control of the Seventy).
My dad has been out for a while, but he still attends benefits meetings and meets colleagues often. I disagree with your opinion. It is one the most stable and secure aspects of the church, moneys are consistently paid for homes to be next to high schools for release time, it is growing and developing stronger roots if anything. Much to my dismay.
Until then, CES will be burdened with the mediocre, weak and effeminate (and yes, sadly, John comes across that way; is it affected, like missionaries affect a certain speech pattern?) who are not called to their positions, but volunteer. They can't function as IT experts, writers, accountants or high school teachers. These are the types who will just tell kids what they want to hear to become popular in their own minds, and develop the cult of personality John was trying to develop. CES will not attract, for instance, capable female instructors.
I agree with your last opinion, it is completely patriarchal, excessively even. I disagree with your categorization. I was not in Utah I admit, but I never met a CES man that has the weak traits you sterotype. CES people are proud and passionate. I would say the McClay effeminate speech an exception. They love studying the gospel and many of them could shame FARMS types with their knowledge.
2. Both of them are nice and attractive people. Both are very self-centered, but who wouldn't be at a time like this? They should do what is right for their family, and if they believe the Church isn't right, then that is selection they should make.
Leaving the church is a progression. You could easily see the stage they were at, which is an infant one as far as removing your cultural language, habits, and modes of speech for sure. They came across to me as still Mormon'y' in how they approach the world. A year from now I am not sure you would recognize them.
3. Oddity: Her discussion of her relationship with her gay friend, and how it disrupted their marriage shows that these two are very naïve. In any work environment as a professional you're going to be thrown into relationships with persons of the opposite sex and gay people, and you will spend time in bars (unless you are in Utah). It seems that the first time this happened with her, all hell broke loose.
Not enough facts. I really heard her saying that this experience was simply one of many that opened her admittedly naïve worldview's horizons. That's all. Adultery is stretch they didn't provide us evidence to conclude. Your experience of gay men and female relationships is also odd, I don't believe you have the depth you imply.
4. Oddity: Spending their scarce resources to be with this gay male friend for a personal trip does seem out of place and I'd have a problem with that. Since almost, but not all, of my gay male friends have had relationships with women, I can't see why people can't see there is a problem.
Again not enough facts. She also stated she received some monies from her blogging. That was the same activity that brought about the relationship - your simply drawing inferences without facts.
Whereas this is none of our business, they have made it so. On the one hand, they dislike the whisper campaign against them which asserts all sorts of malfeasance. On the other hand, they admit to the sort of conduct that would drive any reasonable husband to drink.
In or out of the church I would hardly begin drinking if my wife visited a friend. Gay or not. By airplane or rail. She also spoke and inferred about the patriarchal suffocation she was being liberated from. To me this very credible. CES can be very suffocating for a wife and intoxicating for a husband in CES. It is not one of the more healthy aspects of the CES program.
I'd feel myself drowning if this happened to me and I know that no call to the bishop would fix it.
If your wife visited a friend? Odd.
5. Oddity: The story of the gay friend, the marriage disruption and the invitation he had to do additional work in Florida and in Israel all coincide in the same month. One could easily conclude that their marriage was crumbling, leading to his loss of faith. Or, one could conclude that the Church is responsible, through its culture, for her naïveté.
It's funny how we both read things into what we saw. I agree with you that things have been left out. I think the adultery is silly. What I inferred and admitted from my own glasses my father gave me is that John isn't being completely forthright. His descriptions of himself with CES and certain stages are just not believable. I think this is attributable to common Mormon characteristics such as, giving everything a positive spin, being hyper sensitive to what others think and how they will view them, not being able to articulate well psychological experiences particularly of doubt within the church, and exaggerating certain things and minimizing others, it is quite typical. I think John enjoyed the attention he received from members and students and delayed as long as he could. I think his awareness of the difficult problems was more acute and long than he expressed or implied. I think a more rich anger stage is in John's near future. When he drops the politeness because he doesn't have any more friends right now and still bows to former friends and family and just gets a job - yah.
6. I can see why somebody would have a crisis of faith if they first encountered without explanation the polyandry, MMM and Kinderhook plates. But, he was a CES employee. CES has held seminars on these topics. He doesn't seem all that well-read in his own faith and he is an educator. Whereas I particularly dislike the apologists' argument that people should study up on their faith and become expert in the latest research and publication before throwing stones against their Primary teacher, I am going to hold a CES employee up to a higher standard. I mean, Grant Palmer was obviously familiar with these issues.
I am not aware of my father attending any such seminars. I do agree with you in holding him to a higher standard. CES men are constantly reverered in their home wards and by their students as the professionals and those with all the answers. In their culture they take that role on and many even most become very sophisticated at it and it becomes a part of their ego and identity. I agree he should be held to a higher standard, but not because he attended seminars but because you can't do it without being confronted by it and having to develop answers very early on. His insistence to sticking only to the manuals and the scriptures is different in my experience with my father, my father and those I met through him would utilize any church publications to defend their positions.
7. Although they mention their various objections (see paragraph 6 above), they spend most of their 4 hour block, when they mention their objection to the Church, talking about the Church's position on homosexuality. Surely, when they signed onto the poor wages in CES in college that they knew this to be an essential element of Mormonism. I, too, have my issues with how the Church addresses homosexual issues but I've signed onto the priesthood structure knowing the Church's doctrine. If I were a devout Catholic, I would not be agitating to change the church's position on capital punishment. Similarly, the McLays should not be surprised about the church's position on homosexual conduct: all sexual relations outside of hetero marriage is unChristian.
The issue is truth, not signing up for something that turns out different than what you thought or were taught previously.
8. They miss essential Christianity.
The church certainly does.
An understanding of Christ's mission is completely missing from their 4 hours, although she occasionally mentions His name in sort of a New Age context. He says he doesn't believe in God, or isn't sure. She brags about deciding for one week to be agnostic.
Part of the normal progression and maturation, processing of a rather non-trivial change in being and living.
It is striking that a CES instructor is so lacking in faith and knowledge in Christ's ministry.
I too question his forthrightness. At times he came off as a 3 months in the field missionary that leaned on his senior companion for the answer to everything and then didn't like one of them.
I spent too much time hearing him explaining how was admired he was a testifier and a speaker. If I said to my close friends how often I have been admired as a speaker and a lawyer, I'd be ridiculed, disbelieved and hooted into oblivion with no friends remaining. He deserves to be criticized for focusing too much on self-admiration. Was Jesus a non-entity? They couldn't deal with Him a little bit in four hours?
I do agree. I also think EFY played more of a role than CES, although a CES man can be an admirer of themselves.
10. He's desperate because his isn't the kind of marriage to which he agreed. She's coming to grasp with her feminism, after years of living in an extremely insular and protected environment. As a result, she's blaming the church for her insular state, and he's blaming the church for what she's doing. But she signed onto CES, and CES is not the Church. She doesn't realize that feminism is completely compatible with the Church -- maybe not in Colorado Springs with a bunch of farmers -- but certainly elsewhere. Her own mother is a lawyer, for crying out loud.
I tend to agree with you a bit. The nature of the relationships in CES is often very old fashioned.
11. The fact that he's wrapped up in CES thus makes it all the worse, and a wife whose interests are wandering outside of the marriage makes it even worse than worse. How awful would it be to be a CES instructor in a remote area in Colorado dealing with a capable wife. They have no money and no socialization outside their little church group.
This is where your just assuming way to much. I noticed a real evangelical bent to much of what she said and saw a real influence of the Springs on her. When you say "remote area in Colorado" - geez man, Burlington Co, is a remote area in Colorado. Colorado Springs is the second most populace city in the State with nearly a half-million people. It sits just 45 minutes outside of the Denver Metro Area. In ten years it will hard to not include it. His job included the Air force cadets and the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs students. He wasn't in a backwater for heavens sakes.
12. One of their final points deals with emotion, arguing that so much that passes for the Spirit is just emotion. This is basically just an attack on all of Christianity. Unfortunately, for those who study the New Testament, the Spirit and emotion go hand in hand. Jesus taught that knowledge of Him could not come without the intervention of the Holy Spirit. So, the McLays can certainly jettison that doctrine, but it is an essential element of Christianity.
Most right wing, not to mention mainline Christian churches do not implement emotion in any analogous way to truth confirmation that the Mormon church does. You are simply out of touch and projecting where not appropriate.
my thoughts, mikwut
All communication relies, to a noticeable extent on evoking knowledge that we cannot tell, all our knowledge of mental processes, like feelings or conscious intellectual activities, is based on a knowledge which we cannot tell.
-Michael Polanyi
"Why are you afraid, have you still no faith?" Mark 4:40