Why "cowardly anonymity" may indeed be best

[_skippy the dead]

Ideal relationship, and probably not very workable in the real world, as you said. But that is really sad.

Indeed. We certainly agree on this point.

[_Runtu]

Might I just add that I am not lying to anyone about where I stand in the church. This was about my attending church because it was a compromise my wife and I agreed on. I don't pretend to believe, not to anyone. I rarely speak up in church, and it's never to add something critical. I just don't see the point.

For some reason, Will equates that with being a wolf in sheep's clothing and has condemned me for it. Seems a tad odd, to me.

[_malkie]

Ideal relationship, and probably not very workable in the real world, as you said. But that is really sad.

Enjoying a brief few moments of internet access while out of my normal environment.

I have not read the thread on the "other" board, but I wonder if Wil may be using a bit of black-and-white thinking here.

From my own very limited experience, there is a very wide range of circumstances in which one spouse is experiencing difficulties due to a mismatch of level of "faithfulness".

My dear wife has known for a long time that I have issues with the church, and she has reluctantly tolerated my almost total inactivity. Apart from problems related to the church, we have a good marriage, and this is recognised by TBMs in her ward.

However, when I mentioned some months ago that I thought that I should resign my membership, since there was little prospect of my returning to activity, the first thing that she said was that she didn't think that she could remain married to a non-member. Although I have made no move towards resignation, she has cried herself to sleep several times since that discussion.

Different people with vastly different circumstances surely need different treatment from the church as an organization and from the members. When I was a Branch President, many years ago, I had more to worry about because of the self-righteous members of the branch as I had because of actual transgressions. Some members just don't know when to leave things alone and let others work things out the best way they can.

Runtu, I'm sorry to read about your tribulations, and (as a non-sock puppet) hope that it all works out for you.

[_Jersey Girl]

Might I just add that I am not lying to anyone about where I stand in the church. This was about my attending church because it was a compromise my wife and I agreed on. I don't pretend to believe, not to anyone. I rarely speak up in church, and it's never to add something critical. I just don't see the point.

For some reason, Will equates that with being a wolf in sheep's clothing and has condemned me for it. Seems a tad odd, to me.

Why is it Will's place to "condemn" you, runtu?

[_Runtu]

Might I just add that I am not lying to anyone about where I stand in the church. This was about my attending church because it was a compromise my wife and I agreed on. I don't pretend to believe, not to anyone. I rarely speak up in church, and it's never to add something critical. I just don't see the point.

For some reason, Will equates that with being a wolf in sheep's clothing and has condemned me for it. Seems a tad odd, to me.

Why is it Will's place to "condemn" you, runtu?

It's not. Why he thinks it is strikes me as bizarre and misguided. Oh, well.

[_Ren]

Might I just add that I am not lying to anyone about where I stand in the church. This was about my attending church because it was a compromise my wife and I agreed on. I don't pretend to believe, not to anyone. I rarely speak up in church, and it's never to add something critical. I just don't see the point.

For some reason, Will equates that with being a wolf in sheep's clothing and has condemned me for it. Seems a tad odd, to me.

Seems like the kind of situation where you just can't win.

'Lie', and well - you're lying. That's bad of course.
'Go along with it' whilst keeping (pretty much) schtum, and you're a 'Wolf In Sheep's clothing'.
'Go along with it' and speak out a bit, and you're a trouble-maker.
Just flat out leave, and risk the chance of breaking up your family over it.


...and wasn't it mentioned about you talking to your kids?! Wouldn't even matter if you are or not in my mind - if your the parent, you have every right to discuss what you believe with your kids. It's THEM who would be interfering with YOUR rights as a parent if they try to portray the situation any other way...

[_Runtu]

Seems like the kind of situation where you just can't win.

'Lie', and well - you're lying. That's bad of course.
'Go along with it' whilst keeping (pretty much) schtum, and you're a 'Wolf In Sheep's clothing'.
'Go along with it' and speak out a bit, and you're a trouble-maker.
Just flat out leave, and risk the chance of breaking up your family over it.

Yeah, pretty much. Damned if you do ...

...and wasn't it mentioned about you talking to your kids?! Wouldn't even matter if you were or not in my mind - if your the parent, you have every right to discuss what you believe with your kids. It's THEM who would be interfering with YOUR rights as a parent if they try to portray the situation any other way...

Imagine that, letting parents decide what to teach their kids. What next?

[_Jersey Girl]

Might I just add that I am not lying to anyone about where I stand in the church. This was about my attending church because it was a compromise my wife and I agreed on. I don't pretend to believe, not to anyone. I rarely speak up in church, and it's never to add something critical. I just don't see the point.

For some reason, Will equates that with being a wolf in sheep's clothing and has condemned me for it. Seems a tad odd, to me.

Why is it Will's place to "condemn" you, runtu?

It's not. Why he thinks it is strikes me as bizarre and misguided. Oh, well.

I don't know quite how to say this but I'm sure I'll muddle my way through it. I only wish that people like Will could see how this looks from the outside. It looks like a bunch of gossip mongering busy-bodying stalkerism instead of a spirit led church family.

Do LDS believe that God needs people like Will to read people's heart?

I'm dead-dog serious.

[_asbestosman]

I don't think a marital bond can be sustained on disrespect, force, deceit, etc. The one who is being forced into the position of being dishonest can't survive long in that situaiton.

What do you mean by long? 80 years of marriage is pretty short compared to eternity.

[_harmony]

...and wasn't it mentioned about you talking to your kids?! Wouldn't even matter if you are or not in my mind - if your the parent, you have every right to discuss what you believe with your kids. It's THEM who would be interfering with YOUR rights as a parent if they try to portray the situation any other way...

What I want to know is if charity said "About a believing spouse demanding that a non-believing spouse be who they truly are in real life, that is wrong. Just as wrong as a non-believing spouse making demands on a believing spouse to weaken or destroy the spouse's faith. Truth is always best. Hiding and pretending is not a good thing." on MAAD? Because that comment would definitely put her at odds with the likes of Will and company.