Sam Harris wrote:I noticed this a lot when I was a member, this attitude towards women who weren't virgins, for whatever reason.
This attitude is rooted in our historical appreciation for health. Virgins were prized simply because the Alpha wouldn't get a sexually transmitted disease. The issue became convluted with tradition and religion, but the basic premise of clean/pure is the same.
I would say in this day and age a male is the consumate asshole if that's an issue for him, on any level.
Sam Harris wrote:But is that an excuse? There are a lot of behaviors going on in the church that are damaging, this being only one. I had to deal with being a non-virgin, deal with being black, deal with being "ghetto"...outside the church I was just normal.
When is the church going to let go of the Beaver Cleaver mindset and learn to embrace the kalidescope of humanity, flaws and all? Sometimes imperfection can be immensely beautiful...
I could never tolerate a man who looked down on me like that again. But can't lie and say his judgement wouldn't hurt like hell...
No Sam it is not an excuse. But it has taken some gut wrenching emotional turmoil inside me resulting from a number of very personal issue on this topic that I will not post here to understand that some of this is just a bad way to teach and to view the world. Certain mind sets become a part of us and they do not go easy. You asked why an LDS male, and even many non LDS males, have a distorted view of non virgins or a victim of abuse. Culturally many men do and this is a hold over form not so many years gone by. Pile on top of the existing cultural stigmas the teachings I posted above and one should not be surprised that LDS men may develop some not so good attitudes about this.
Excusing the men... excusing the leaders... does not help the victim of childhood sexual abuse, Jason.
And the next time anyone tells me that prophets are inspired, I'm gonna give them your quotes from Page 1. Bad, bad BAD... and not at all inspired. Good evidence of the contrary, in fact.
Excusing the men... excusing the leaders... does not help the victim of childhood sexual abuse, Jason.
Harm I understand and if it is any consolation I ache in my heart for your dear daughter. DAMN the people who did this too her. I am just trying to explain why some men, even if it may be wrong, react like they do. And some of it I blame on their programing.