"I'm Drinking My First Coffee Tonight"

[_gramps]

Thanks, Gramps, for my new sig line. That's a classic line, IMHO. What's really funny is that to a dyed in the wool TBM, what your dad says makes perfect sense. And to an outsider, it makes perfect nonsense.

Joseph Smith can be a true Prophet, and not only "feel the Spirit", but talk to and see God, Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Moroni, the Apostle Paul, and who knows how many other angelic figures, while boinking other mens' wives, smoking cigars, drinking whiskey and wine, opening a bar in his mansion, and whatever else. But you can't even have the Spirit enter your home at all because there's a box of (for God's sake) tea sitting in your cupboard.

It's actually pretty darn funny.

No. Thank you. I am indeed honored.

[_Jersey Girl]

But you can't even have the Spirit enter your home at all because there's a box of (for God's sake) tea sitting in your cupboard.

It's actually pretty darn funny.

Not so funny, Sethbag. Lipton's is just one step away from mainlining heroin.

You knew that right?

Jersey "Caffeine is my blood type" Girl

Edited to please gramps who no longer exists in my virtual world.

[_gramps]

Thanks, Gramps, for my new sig line. That's a classic line, IMHO. What's really funny is that to a dyed in the wool TBM, what your dad says makes perfect sense. And to an outsider, it makes perfect nonsense.

Joseph Smith can be a true Prophet, and not only "feel the Spirit", but talk to and see God, Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Moroni, the Apostle Paul, and who knows how many other angelic figures, while boinking other mens' wives, smoking cigars, drinking whiskey and wine, opening a bar in his mansion, and whatever else. But you can't even have the Spirit enter your home at all because there's a box of (for God's sake) tea sitting in your cupboard.

It's actually pretty darn funny.

Damn you SB!! I was going to take that for my sig line.. lol!

I think your siggy is truly a classic.

I was following that thread in September. That guy is plain nuts. It was fun to watch Tarski eat him up, as well. He seems to have disappeared as of late, no? That was my humor everyday for a while!

[_gramps]

But you can't even have the Spirit enter your home at all because there's a box of (for God's sake) tea sitting in your cupboard.

It's actually pretty darn funny.

Not so funny, Sethbag. Lipton's is just one step away from mainlining heroine.

You knew that right?

Jersey "Caffeine is my blood type" Girl

Jersey Girl, women are pretty hard to mainline. =)

[_Jersey Girl]

Jersey Girl, women are pretty hard to mainline. =)

I do not like shameless spell checker's. I'm fixing it, does that please you?

Your officially off my list of nice people.

*Pulls out virtual eraser. Erases gramps.*

[_gramps]

Jersey Girl, women are pretty hard to mainline. =)

I do not like shameless spell checker's. I'm fixing it, does that please you?

Your officially off my list of nice people.

*Pulls out virtual eraser. Erases gramps.*

What are 'shameless spell checker's?'

I could care less actually if you fix it or not. And I hope most people can't spell it and never get near it. Ugly stuff, really.

Stick to the caffeine.

[_Ray A]

I managed to find Faith Precedes The Miracle online, and the story of the woman SWK knew drinking coffee in the Hotel Utah, which I mentioned in the OP.

It's on page 116 of the online version which you can read Here, but you'll have to scroll down to that page.

The woman had the coffee on her plate, and SWK was uncertain if she had seen him but she looked "uncomfortable", indicating she might have noticed him. SWK writes:

Probably she was not certain that I had seen or recognised her, but the ten stories of the building above her were not enough to keep the angels in heaven from photographing her movements and recording her thoughts of deception. It was a petty thing, but for her it was withering - a weak, mean, cheap, little tricky thing that sent her honour skidding down the incline towards bankruptcy of self-esteem.

All because she tried to sneak a cup of coffee.

[_gramps]

I managed to find Faith Precedes The Miracle online, and the story of the woman SWK knew drinking coffee in the Hotel Utah, which I mentioned in the OP.

It's on page 116 of the online version which you can read Here, but you'll have to scroll down to that page.

The woman had the coffee on her plate, and SWK was uncertain if she had seen him but she looked "uncomfortable", indicating she might have noticed him. SWK writes:

Probably she was not certain that I had seen or recognised her, but the ten stories of the building above her were not enough to keep the angels in heaven from photographing her movements and recording her thoughts of deception. It was a petty thing, but for her it was withering - a weak, mean, cheap, little tricky thing that sent her honour skidding down the incline towards bankruptcy of self-esteem.

All because she tried to sneak a cup of coffee.

That is hilarious, Ray. Which reminded me that when I was young, we were required to sit around the kitchen table, at 5:30 every morning ( I am not joking about that!) and read the scriptures (each of us one page) together out loud. Well, we got tired of doing that and voiced our disapproval.

So, my Dad had us read Faith Precedes the Miracle as a family. Maybe that is where he got his fear of tea and coffee? I on the other hand had completely forgotten that story. Thanks!

[_Sethbag]

But you can't even have the Spirit enter your home at all because there's a box of (for God's sake) tea sitting in your cupboard.

It's actually pretty darn funny.

Not so funny, Sethbag. Lipton's is just one step away from mainlining heroin.

You knew that right?

No, but I did know that Lipton's is just one step away from dish water. ;-)

I'm digging English Breakfast tea or Irish Breakfast tea, with the obligatory milk.

[_Ray A]

So, my Dad had us read Faith Precedes the Miracle as a family. Maybe that is where he got his fear of tea and coffee? I on the other hand had completely forgotten that story. Thanks!

I too am wondering how much of this anti-coffee culture comes from stories like this too. I think I read Faith Precedes The Miracle in the early 1980s, and even as a then TBM I thought this was just way overboard.

I just checked Amazon, and I see it's still on sale there and was republished in 2001. So I guess coffee still remains a deadly stepping stone to hard drugs, adultery, fornication and mass murder.

Judas' betrayal doesn't look quite as bad now, not with those evil coffee-drinkers around.