Old Testament Comments from Anti-Mormon Challenge Scholarly Request Thread

[_Daniel Peterson]

Great stuff.

I really can't decide which I prefer as emblematic of the type of "Mormon Discussions" that occur on this board, the pre-Kindergartners or the Scratches.

Either one will serve.

[_KimberlyAnn]

How about this limerick?

There is an ex-Mormon named Shades,
Dishing grammar advice by the spades.
But nobody cares
‘Bout tips that he shares
We keep on with our ill-grammared ways.



KA

[_Dr. Shades]

There is an ex-Mormon named Shades, ( - / - - / - - / , eight syllables)
Dishing grammar advice by the spades. ( - - / - - / - - / , nine syllables, note superfluous unstressed opening syllable)
But nobody cares
‘Bout tips that he shares
We keep on with our ill-grammared ways. ( - - / - - / - - / , nine syllables, note superfluous unstressed opening syllable)

Your syllable count in line 1 doesn't match the syllable count in lines 2 and 5.

So no, that doesn't work, either.

It often helps to read aloud each limerick to catch any out-of-sequence stresses or superfluous syllables.

[_antishock8]

Could you please post your CV for our wonder, amazement, and awe?

Don't be fooled, TAK. Mr. Peterson hasn't posted his Curriculum Vitae. He's a hypocrite. Par for the course as a Mormon and a Mormon apologist.

[_KimberlyAnn]

They don't have to be the same, Shades.

The stresses should be, but not the syllable count.

It's fine for a limerick to be 8/9/6/6/9, as long as the rhythm and stresses are correct.

It may work better as:

There is an ex-Mormon named Shades,
Who gives grammar advice by the spades.
But nobody cares
‘Bout tips that he shares
We keep on with our ill-grammared ways.

But, still, the poem is 8/9/5/5/9, and that's alright.

Note these limericks by Edward Lear:

There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, 'Does it buzz?'
He replied, 'Yes, it does!'
'It's a regular brute of a Bee!'

8/9/6/6/9.

There was an Old Man of the West,
Who wore a pale plum-coloured vest;
When they said, 'Does it fit?'
He replied, 'Not a bit!'
That uneasy Old Man of the West.

8/8/6/6/9.

The syllable count does not need to be perfectly consistent.

KA

[_antishock8]

I'm not sure syllables HAVE to match in a limerick, Mr. Shades. No? I think the limericist has that freedom when composing his work...

[_Dr. Shades]

The syllable count does not need to be perfectly consistent.

Why settle for imperfection when perfection is within one's grasp?

I'm not sure syllables HAVE to match in a limerick, Mr. Shades. No? I think the limericist has that freedom when composing his work...

With all due respect, you're not at that stage yet. First master the basics, then consider making exceptions, not the other way around.

[_antishock8]

Noted.

Let me try again, and see if I can make it to Dr. Shades "next level".

There once was a fat man from Layton,

Eating nothing but sausage and bacon;

For lunch he ate pork,

Didn't need a fork,

Professor Peterson is obese.

------------

How'd I do? I think I'm getting better at this.

[_KimberlyAnn]

Good grief.

It's completely unnecessary, and even famous poets don't match their syllable count exactly, but you asked for it, so here it is:

There's a picky ex-Mormon named Shades,
Who gives grammar advice by the spades.
But nobody cares
‘Bout tips that he shares
We keep on with our ill-grammared ways.

Now kiss my butt.

KA

[_Dr. Shades]

There once was a fat man from Layton, ( - / - - / - - / - , ending phoneme "-ton,")
Eating nothing but sausage and bacon; ( - - / - - / - - / - , ending phoneme "-ton" again, so far so good; [allowing the extra syllable to slide this time])
For lunch he ate pork, ( - / - - /)
Didn't need a fork, ( - - - - / , stress pattern WAY off)
Professor Peterson is obese. ( - / - / - - - - / , stress pattern WAY off, ending phoneme "-ese" which doesn't rhyme with "ton.")

How'd I do?

Very, very poorly.

I think I'm getting better at this.

You're dead wrong.

It's completely unnecessary, and even famous poets don't match their syllable count exactly, but you asked for it, so here it is:

Okay, we'll let the opening unstressed syllable count stand at either one or two. Let's see if the rest passes:

There is a picky ex-Mormon named Shades, ( - - - / - - / - - / , superfluous THIRD opening unstressed syllable)
Who gives grammar advice by the spades.
But nobody cares
‘Bout tips that he shares
We keep on with our ill-grammared ways.

Almost, KA. Almost. You dropped the ball on the first line: The three unstressed syllables "there is a" should've been shortened to the two unstressed syllables "there's a."

Remember, whenever writing limericks--or any other form of poetry--ALWAYS say them out loud to see if they sound funny before committing them to paper or keyboard.

Now kiss my butt.

Name the time and place.