I'm trying to turn gay.

[_krose]

This is so silly. You just can't do it without a time machine.

I'm telling you, I've read the book by the Evergreen people about how guys end up getting the 'gay' all over themselves (nothing about the lesbians, oddly -- kind of like the Bible), and it's a long process.

First you have to go back to your childhood and be raised by a distant/absent father and an overcompensating mother who doted on you. Then in your teens, focus on your body and getting more physically fit, and develop envy for the boys who are more muscular. Eventually you will progress from desiring to have a body like theirs to desiring to possess (and do filthy, unrighteous things to) those boys' bodies. Process complete.

Oh, and don't play catch in the yard, ever. That will ruin everything, as it is a crucial part of becoming hetero.

[_MCB]

adapted Marry one of those men who have a habit of turning women into lesbians. They are just really bad husbands who put women off the whole male gender.

X

No joke. In my own life, shortly after my divorce, I had an unusual level of attraction to females. But it was a temporary thing.

Is it OK for me to have a crush on Mike Quinn?

[_Fiannan]

Maybe listening to Barbara Streisand music could help.