LDS and stay at home moms?

[_Scottveg3]

Are they jason? On a whole I don't think they are. I was never spoken to about career. I was spoken to about being a good homemaker

[_Mercury]

Are they jason? On a whole I don't think they are. I was never spoken to about career. I was spoken to about being a good homemaker

Jasons tactic is to take the position he knows were looking for and state that we don't know what the hell were talking about and that THE REAL doctrine is closer to what we perceive it should be, minus the fact that the LDS corporation wants to control us.

[_Scottveg3]

This is a really great article on the role of woman in Mormonism.

[_Jersey Girl]

scottveg3

Well if someone has a child at the age of 20 or 21, they miss out on being an adult without the added responsibilities of children. I can only speak from my own goals and desires as to what is important to me as an individual. I have always wanted to travel and live in another country. If I where a parent I would have lost the opportunities to travel to Italy and live among italians. I was able to do that at the age of 25. I would never have been able to had I been married with children.

I've known literally hundreds of parents who were able to visit and live in foreign countries wit their children. The reason I asked the question was because it looks as though you think that parenting isn't a choice that carries with it opportunities for growth and skills building on the part of the parent. I might be wrong about that. I know many women who were SAHM's who used their volunteer experiences and skills developed at home for work resume's to land pretty decent jobs that lead to other perhaps more desirable positions and also continuing education.

scottveg3

It all depends on what dreams that individual woman has. If her dream is to have children as soon as possible, more power to her.

I think it has to do, as well, with shared dreams between spouses.

scottveg3

As to which of your posts require one who is Mormon to be able to post on. none. you can post whatever you want. You said that everythign was from your point of view dealing with many many Mormon families over the course of years. I said that the view of familes is different when you are one. I am not negating your posts. So stop attacking me like I am. I am saying that when you aren't a Mormon woman, you can not speak as if you have walked in our shoes. Its like saying to someone, I know lots of black people, therefore I know what its like to be black.

I see no place on this thread where I have either "attacked" you or claimed speak as if I walked in an LDS woman's shoes. What I did do was ask you what you think and state the various situations of approx. 50 LDS women. LDS women do not hold the monopoly on the issues that have been raised in this thread.

[_Jason Bourne]

Are they? lets look at what degrees are prevalent among the upper middle class educated women. Hmm, looks mostly like homemaking and "family-centric" programs. Go figure.

Hmmm...really? I know a linguistic major, two engineer majors, a business major, a teacher major, a photography major, all from my ward.

And besides...are they REALLY encouraged to do so? No they are not. They are encouraged to get married, have kids and then if they have a chance it might be good for them to be educated.

Really? Nope dude. They are encouraged. Recently Pres Hinckley did so... though I will give you that he siad "In case they need to work..."

Ask yourself how a bishop would advise a girl contemplating marriage or school.

I know how many bishops would do so. Some would do so like I have done, others would do differently.

You do the math. And don't give your usual faire of stating the more rational choice dressed up in infrequently stated views of a minority of Mormons.

I already stated on this thread that woman are still discouraged from working. But they are encouraged to get an education. You are out of touch with this. When I took my oldest daughter to BYU it said on a sign hung on her Dorm room door "Women are not here to get married. They are here to get educated." It was on every door.

Telll me Merc, how old are your daughters? Have any of them been through the YW program or started college yet?

[_Jason Bourne]

Are they jason? On a whole I don't think they are. I was never spoken to about career. I was spoken to about being a good homemaker

How long have you been out? Are you aware of recent teachings? When was the last YW general broadcast you attended. Same for the mouthy Merc. When was the last one Merc?

[_Jason Bourne]

Jasons tactic is to take the position he knows were looking for and state that we don't know what the hell were talking about and that THE REAL doctrine is closer to what we perceive it should be, minus the fact that the LDS corporation wants to control us.

Jason's position is to tell the truth which show you do not know what the hell you are talking about.

[_Seven]

that's the point - nowhere to run if they are in an abusive relationship.

But women in the LDS Church are encouraged to get eduacated today so that blows that fallacy out of the water.

I agree that LDS women are encouraged to get their education. The reality is, many LDS women I know did not finish college. I was one of the few devout Mormons in my family who earned a college degree and had a career plan. Most of the LDS girls I knew went to BYU, got married before they finished college, and then began raising a family. They don't see it as a big priority to finish their degree. Some have done home courses to complete it, but they have never used it for anything. Their purpose for college seemed mainly to meet a return missionary to marry.

There was a study I saw once that showed the children who performed best in school came from homes where the mothers level of education was higher than the other mothers. So even if the college education is never used for a career, it will be a significant benefit to the children of the "stay at home Mom." I believe the church encourages education for women for security issues, benefits to the children, and personal growth of the woman, but they will still counsel that a mothers role is in the home. I really don't have a problem with the church's counsel because in ideal situations the children would want their mother to raise them (and it's critical for the first 2 years) , but it's part of the reason many LDS women are so judgemental towards those who choose another path.

[_barrelomonkeys]

I'm not going to quote anyone to help mods and bandwidth.

Jason, You must be so proud of your daughter. It speaks of how well you raised her that she had the desire to fulfill her own dreams!

Seven, I have read the study that showed the correlation between Mom's education and children's future as well. I tried to find it earlier and I couldn't. But I recall reading it within this last year.

I think it's a shame that women beat each other up over this issue.

Mod Note: We don't have a bandwidth problem. It's fine to use the quote feature. We just want to limit quote pyramids that are huge (and I mean more than 3 or 4 boxes). Small ones are fine.-Bond

[_harmony]

I really don't have a problem with the church's counsel because in ideal situations the children would want their mother to raise them (and it's critical for the first 2 years) , but it's part of the reason many LDS women are so judgemental towards those who choose another path.

I see two sides of this in my ward. The majority of women in my ward work outside the home (67%), yet there is a lot of judgmentalism that goes on. That judgmental attitude is one of the reasons I tend to avoid Relief Society like the plague. It's as if on one hand, they know we're supposed to stay at home and raise children, yet they resent having to be so isolated, so they resent the women who choose to walk outside that advice. I stayed home until my youngest entered first grade, then I went back to college and was lucky enough to find a good career that suits me. Not everyone is that lucky. Of the 2/3 that work outside the home, the women work at a variety of jobs, mostly in the school system, so they are home when their kids are home. Some of them drive school bus, so they bring their kids home with them at night and take them with them in the morning. Some of them have traditional jobs (secretary, nurse, teacher). I am the only one who has a secretary and could be labeled as a professional. Their daughters are equally traditional (most get married before graduating from college, and those who don't, choose careers that are traditional women's careers like teacher).

I see a dualism that eats at many of these good women. Knowing what they have (staying at home with their kids) is good for the kids, yet wanting something more for themselves is difficult for them. Not everyone has a man like mine, who supports me in whatever I want to do. He is one of those rare LDS men who loves to point out my career successes, and who appreciates that his burden is lighter and that our retirement will be easier because of the income I bring home now. A rare Pickle indeed.