Peterson, Hamblin, Schryver Online Antics: Request for Help

[_beastie]

Let's just let this be my parting comment on this thread, and maybe from this board altogether, since I'm absolutely disgusted by the way anyone who says anything contrary to the "received wisdom" is immediately targeted for a gang beating.

One of the primary reasons I am divorced now is because my ex was so unbelievably uptight about everything to do with sex. No, my father would not have considered my brothers watching the Kate Upton video some kind of porno party. But my ex-husband would have put his hands over his eyes and probably have gone out to the car and started listening to a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD in order to "get the spirit back".

Do you really feel like you've been targeted for a gang beating? Seriously? Why?

I hope you will respond to my question about whether or not you would at least agree that Will's behavior was offensive.

[_why me]

One of the primary reasons I am divorced now is because my ex was so unbelievably uptight about everything to do with sex.

This is why I am a big fan of the Mormon lay. It is important that two people know that they are somewhat compatible in bed. After a couple of Mormon lays, one can know a lot about the other person's sexuality. How could you not know about your future husband's sexuality?

[_RayAgostini]

Let's just let this be my parting comment on this thread, and maybe from this board altogether, since I'm absolutely disgusted by the way anyone who says anything contrary to the "received wisdom" is immediately targeted for a gang beating.

You're not alone.

It appears that Carton's last post was nearly a month ago.

[_Chap]

...

But maybe I've just been jaded on account of growing up the only girl in a family of boys.

Please excuse my asking - but did your father hear the way your brothers spoke about women in your presence? If so, did he make any comment?

Let's just let this be my parting comment on this thread, and maybe from this board altogether, since I'm absolutely disgusted by the way anyone who says anything contrary to the "received wisdom" is immediately targeted for a gang beating.

One of the primary reasons I am divorced now is because my ex was so unbelievably uptight about everything to do with sex. No, my father would not have considered my brothers watching the Kate Upton video some kind of porno party. But my ex-husband would have put his hands over his eyes and probably have gone out to the car and started listening to a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD in order to "get the spirit back".

'Gang beating'? Is that a reference to my politely phrased question? I hope not.

I do agree with you, by the way, that for any normal person a coarse-speaking but normally sexed partner is preferable to a partner who never says a rude word, but only because they are deeply repressed and guilt-ridden.

I am very sorry to hear what happened to you. But you don't have to speak rudely to women in a non-sexual context in order to be an enjoyable sexual partner, surely?

Of course what a couple choose to say to one another in their privacy is for them alone to decide.

[_MsJack]

Garbo ~ You made an argument and those who disagreed with you replied. As far as I can tell, everyone who has replied to you has addressed your argument alone, and it seems they've all been polite in their disagreement. They haven't called you names or suggested that bad things should happen to you because of your position. If you can't handle having your ideas critiqued without calling it a "gang beating," then maybe you're right. Maybe this isn't a good place for you.

For my own part, your comments remind me of something my friend Kristine Haglund said over another incident where people were trying to tell the women that they shouldn't be so offended over something so minor:

"Like most affronts to women in the church, by itself it’s not worth making a fuss over. But our dignity dies by a thousand stupid cuts, any one of which we could be justifiably cajoled out of getting upset over."

That's how I feel about misogyny. Yes, I'm a lot more outraged over cliterectomies in Africa than I am over the guy in World of Warcraft who tells me I have a sandy vagina because I told him to learn to play. But I still view both of them as problems, and I see no reason to stop speaking out against the latter just because the former exists.

[_why me]

It appears that Carton's last post was nearly a month ago.

It takes balls to be different on this board. To defend Mormonism or be an unconformist to group think usually will get a backlash.

[_Morley]

You think Will telling you to grab your pompoms is an example of a "sexist pig"?

Really?

If so, then your definition of the term is very much different than mine. If you're bothered by Will's pompom and breast jokes, then I could tell you things that would probably give you a heart attack. I think you need to get out in the real world, because there is a real war against misogyny that needs to be fought and won, but it won't be won by women who are going to take offense over innocuous jokes about breasts and pompoms.

Microaggression.

[_beastie]

Let's just let this be my parting comment on this thread, and maybe from this board altogether, since I'm absolutely disgusted by the way anyone who says anything contrary to the "received wisdom" is immediately targeted for a gang beating.

You're not alone.

It appears that Carton's last post was nearly a month ago.

Ray,

Do you think Garbo was subjected to a "gang beating" on this thread?

I honestly cannot figure out why she feels that she was. Several people asked her to clarify or defend her comments. But that is the nature of message boards, and most human communication to boot. We talk, people respond to what we say. Are people just supposed to ignore her comments, lest be accused of participating in a message board beating?

Don't get me wrong. Message board beatings do happen. Sometimes they're provoked, but sometimes it is just the result of going against "board wisdom". Not everyone has the stomach for message boards. But I truly do not believe garbo was subjected to that type of beating on this thread. I'm a bit surprised by her high tolerance for sexualized insults combined with such a low tolerance for others disagreeing with her position, and questioning her about it.

[_RayAgostini]

Garbo ~ You made an argument and those who disagreed with you replied. As far as I can tell, everyone who has replied to you has addressed your argument alone, and it seems they've all been polite in their disagreement. They haven't called you names or suggested that bad things should happen to you because of your position. If you can't handle having your ideas critiqued without calling it a "gang beating," then maybe you're right. Maybe this isn't a good place for you.

I think that's exactly what she's talking about. You don't have to call someone names to make them feel they're not part of the "groupthink". She was almost "interrogated" (I know it's a strong word) with questions, including questioning her father's and brothers' ethics, as if she needed to provide the "right answer" to satisfy the questioners.

She's practical and "street smart", and obviously not politically correct, not enough for many here anyway.

[_MsJack]

I'm a bit surprised by her high tolerance for sexualized insults combined with such a low tolerance for others disagreeing with her position, and questioning her about it.

This.