This could be a really inane question, I'm still asking it

[_Jersey Girl]

Hello All,

Well, it's a good thing that I'm not afraid to make a total fool of myself in public so please allow this outsider to the LDS Church to ask what could be a totally off base, out of left field, inane question....

Do you all think there is any sort of correlation between the way that the MAD board treats ex and never-Mo's who are critics and the way that some (not all) TBM's treat their doubting/exiting family members and friends?


Jersey Girl

[_Dr. Shades]

Of course there's a correlation. It's the same method of treatment. The only possible difference is one of degree, since it's easier to be nasty to a total stranger via the anonymity of the Internet than it (generally) is to a living, breathing relative.

To understand why TBMs treat ex-Mormons this way, see the following essay:

The Believer and the Apostate

[_Seven]

Hello All,

Well, it's a good thing that I'm not afraid to make a total fool of myself in public so please allow this outsider to the LDS Church to ask what could be a totally off base, out of left field, inane question....

Do you all think there is any sort of correlation between the way that the MAD board treats ex and never-Mo's who are critics and the way that some (not all) TBM's treat their doubting/exiting family members and friends?


Jersey Girl

Not sure if I am reading your question correctly but here goes.

Most TBM's out there are ignorant and it's understandable how they react so I expect it from them. They have been brain washed to believe anything not published by the church is "anti Mormon." Their intent is to keep their loved one from falling away and losing their eternal family.

Apologists and internet TBM's are accountable for their poor behavior to doubters. (who are critics by MAD standard) I believe the intent is different between the groups, because an apologist knows better and should be the person of the most understanding and compassion. I haven't figured out exactly what their purpose is, but it appears to be self defense and an unhealthy appetite to destroy opposition. Surprisingly, not a desire to help those who are new to church history or doctrine. I doubt they ever experienced troubled feelings over tough LDS issues or this wouldn't be the attitude there. That is the one question I have for internet TBMs....why the indifference to doubters?

[_Yoda]

It seems to me that anyone who treats someone else with such disdain is not secure with themselves. Sometimes, when someone is insecure, they lash out at others as a way to elevate their own self esteem. I find this type of behavior very immature and sad.

I'm not sure why people who have this type of personality are drawn to the LDS Church. This type of judgemental attitude has always bothered me. Although I have been a member of the Church all my life, my parents were careful to raise us to not be judgemental of others. I am very grateful for them teaching me this principle.

I think that in order to be truly Christ-like, you need to look into a person's soul and accept that person for who they are. Everyone makes mistakes. If they have a desire to turn their lives around, they can. It's never too late. Most of the students in my Continuing Education and Computer Science courses I teach at the college have had rough backgrounds and are trying to turn their lives around. Many have served jail time; some are single mothers with no means of support because the father of their children is a "street pharmacist". When you can make a difference in someone's life who has had these kinds of struggles, it not only makes your own troubles seem very small, but it helps you to see how petty "sweating the small stuff" can be.

[_KerryAShirts]

I think on both sides there has been far too judgmental of attitudes, based on lousy understanding and direct personal knowledge of people's lives.............. its sad really, to be so misjudged.........

[_Jersey Girl]

Of course there's a correlation. It's the same method of treatment. The only possible difference is one of degree, since it's easier to be nasty to a total stranger via the anonymity of the Internet than it (generally) is to a living, breathing relative.

To understand why TBMs treat ex-Mormons this way, see the following essay:

The Believer and the Apostate

Thanks, Dr. Shades. I will read the essay and see if it can give me more insight.

Jersey Girl

[_Jersey Girl]

It seems to me that anyone who treats someone else with such disdain is not secure with themselves. Sometimes, when someone is insecure, they lash out at others as a way to elevate their own self esteem. I find this type of behavior very immature and sad.

I'm not sure why people who have this type of personality are drawn to the LDS Church. This type of judgemental attitude has always bothered me. Although I have been a member of the Church all my life, my parents were careful to raise us to not be judgemental of others. I am very grateful for them teaching me this principle.

I think that in order to be truly Christ-like, you need to look into a person's soul and accept that person for who they are. Everyone makes mistakes. If they have a desire to turn their lives around, they can. It's never too late. Most of the students in my Continuing Education and Computer Science courses I teach at the college have had rough backgrounds and are trying to turn their lives around. Many have served jail time; some are single mothers with no means of support because the father of their children is a "street pharmacist". When you can make a difference in someone's life who has had these kinds of struggles, it not only makes your own troubles seem very small, but it helps you to see how petty "sweating the small stuff" can be.

Liz,

My own work is very similar to yours in the respect that it has the potential to impact to people in the types of circumstances that you described. My opinion is probably worth zilch in this however, I'll give it. What I think I see are people who feel betrayed by the church and others who feel betrayed by the doubters/exiters.

Does that make sense?

Jersey Girl

[_Dr. Shades]

To understand why TBMs treat ex-Mormons this way, see the following essay:

The Believer and the Apostate

Thanks, Dr. Shades. I will read the essay and see if it can give me more insight.

I strongly encourage you to do so, the sooner the better. It's one of the most brilliant pieces of writing I've ever seen.

No matter how many times I read it, I never fail to be blown away by the sheer genius of it.

[_Jersey Girl]

To understand why TBMs treat ex-Mormons this way, see the following essay:

The Believer and the Apostate

Thanks, Dr. Shades. I will read the essay and see if it can give me more insight.

I strongly encourage you to do so, the sooner the better. It's one of the most brilliant pieces of writing I've ever seen.

No matter how many times I read it, I never fail to be blown away by the sheer genius of it.

Thanks again, I read the first half of it and will read it in it's entirety tomorrow. Very familiar website...of course it's genius! ;-)

Jersey Girl

[_Yoda]

It seems to me that anyone who treats someone else with such disdain is not secure with themselves. Sometimes, when someone is insecure, they lash out at others as a way to elevate their own self esteem. I find this type of behavior very immature and sad.

I'm not sure why people who have this type of personality are drawn to the LDS Church. This type of judgemental attitude has always bothered me. Although I have been a member of the Church all my life, my parents were careful to raise us to not be judgemental of others. I am very grateful for them teaching me this principle.

I think that in order to be truly Christ-like, you need to look into a person's soul and accept that person for who they are. Everyone makes mistakes. If they have a desire to turn their lives around, they can. It's never too late. Most of the students in my Continuing Education and Computer Science courses I teach at the college have had rough backgrounds and are trying to turn their lives around. Many have served jail time; some are single mothers with no means of support because the father of their children is a "street pharmacist". When you can make a difference in someone's life who has had these kinds of struggles, it not only makes your own troubles seem very small, but it helps you to see how petty "sweating the small stuff" can be.

Liz,

My own work is very similar to yours in the respect that it has the potential to impact to people in the types of circumstances that you described. My opinion is probably worth zilch in this however, I'll give it. What I think I see are people who feel betrayed by the church and others who feel betrayed by the doubters/exiters.

Does that make sense?

Jersey Girl

I think you're right. What I don't understand, though, is this. Why should a believer feel betrayed by a doubter/exiter? I can understand how this can happen in a family situation, but this animosity which occurs between a believer and a total stranger who is a doubter/exiter makes no sense to me. I mean, after all, aren't we taught to be kind to others? To lead by example? This was just something I never understood.

I saw this kind of behavior happen in "real life" when we lived in Utah. Many of the members there made my stomach turn because they were so venomous to non-members....people of other faiths, in particular. What happened to missionary work? What happened to compassion?

When I started posting on the FAIRboards, it was like living in "Happy Valley" all over again. I still don't understand the amount of hate exhibited on the current MAD board.

This type of attitude just seems so incongruous to the teachings of Christ.