Greetings apostates

Post by **_OUT OF MY MISERY** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:53 pm

Too funny you must write for Southpark cause I was cracking up at your post. Keep your hands off your little factories that is from a Southpark episode or it should be at least.

Post by **_Pokatator** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 6:24 pm

Boyd, Boyd, Boyd

You're killing us here.

Too funny.

I got one for you, maybe you can change subjects?

Why are pubic hairs kinky, rather than straight?

If they were straight, they could poke your eye out!

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 6:27 pm

Pokatator wrote:Why are pubic hairs kinky, rather than straight?

If they were straight, they could poke your eye out!

Did you mean curly? Doesn't kinky suggest unorthodox sexual habits?

Post by **_Pokatator** » Tue Mar 13, 2007 11:32 pm

Bond...James Bond wrote:
Pokatator wrote:Why are pubic hairs kinky, rather than straight?

If they were straight, they could poke your eye out!

Did you mean curly? Doesn't kinky suggest unorthodox sexual habits?

But isn't the "position" I'm implying, unorthodox?

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder.

I don't mind kinky, but curly works.

Post by **_Brackite** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 12:15 am

Post by **_ajax18** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 1:03 am

That takes care of one question Brother Packer. Now back to the good stuff. How much money do you make?

Post by **_Boyd_K_Packer** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 4:09 am

ajax18 wrote:That takes care of one question Brother Packer. Now back to the good stuff. How much money do you make?

That, young man, is between me and the Lord. I would like to share a little story with you. When I was a young Apostle, one of the Senior Apostles was being interviewed by a newspaper reporter. The reporter asked this humble servant of the Lord how much money he made, and if his salary came from tithing funds. The Apostle, through inspiration, refused to answer the question. The reporter asked the question again, and again the Apostle refused to answer. The reporter asked the question three more times before the Apostle raised his right hand to the square and commanded the reporter, in the name of the Lord, to depart from his presence.

The reporter scoffed at the apostle, but ultimately obeyed and walked away. As he attempted to cross the street, a bus ran him over and he died.

I don't tell this story to frighten you, but I offer it as warning, for that is the purpose of the Lord's servants.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Sincerely,

Boyd K. Packer
Acting President of the Quorum of the Twenve Apostles

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:13 am

Boyd,

Can I just say you creep me out. Did you play Freddy Kreuger during the 80's? If so I rewrote the little poem:

One, Two, Boyd's coming for you
Three, Four, he'll make you poor
Five, Six, Never grab your pricks
Seven, Eight, Don't masturbate
Nine, Ten, You won't think again

PS: Wouldn't the Freddy glove make a great anti-masturbation device?

Post by **_moksha** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:44 am

Boyd_K_Packer wrote:The reporter scoffed at the apostle, but ultimately obeyed and walked away. As he attempted to cross the street, a bus ran him over and he died.

The bus was obviously a holy roller.

Post by **_Bond...James Bond** » Wed Mar 14, 2007 5:52 am

moksha wrote:The bus was obviously a holy roller.

These are holy rollers.