What Repels Mormons, make it Funny

_Yoda · Post by **_Yoda** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:53 am

1. Starbuck's
2. Coffee ice cream with Rum Cake for dessert
3. Green Tea
4. Democrats

For what it's worth, Misery, I think the list is great. If you can't laugh at yourself once in a while, you're going to live a pretty sad existance.

:)

Post by **_Mephitus** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:14 am

Bryan Inks wrote:
maklelan wrote:
Bond...James Bond wrote:30. The possibility that Jesus drank wine and not Welsh's Grape Juice.

The last one is just stupid. I'm sure there are a couple of Latter-day Saints out there who say this, but they're a pretty slim minority and they usually get corrected quick enough. Why would someone be fine with Joseph Smith drinking wine, but not with Jesus doing it? The real explanation that Latter-day Saints use is that everyone drank wine because it had a sterilizing quality. Not only is this one one dumb, but it's Welch's, not Welsh's.

Except most Mormons don't even know that Joseph Smith drank wine. And Bond didn't point out anything I hadn't heard in Sunday School while growing up.

"Oh, Jesus didn't really drink wine. The term 'wine' back then was used to describe unfermented grape juice." is something I think we have all heard at some point or another.

Yep, i was told this by every church teacher i had.(including my own parents) Wine was merely the word they used for juice. Or the equivilant word for juice that was translated into wine. don't generalize things like this. you know youve heard this enough times for it to be a common Mormon belief.

Heres more of the list!
1. A non-RM dating your daughter
2. someone buying alcohol at a store
3. someone buying coffee at a store
4. prophylactics
5. romance novels
6. restaurants open on sundays (unless you really want to)

Post by **_Mr. Coffee** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 6:50 am

How to get rid of LDS Missionaries and JW's.

1. Tell them you're Jewish. They'll never bother you again.

2. Tell them your gay and comment on how the Elder looks hot in those pants.

3. Tell them that the "Blue Carrot" has revieled to you that the "Sacred Cheese of Destiny" can drive out evil spirits.

4. Ask them if they know how to get blood stains out of carpet.

5. Hand them a copy of the "Kiss Hank's Ass" story and slam the door in their face.

Post by **_Mephitus** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:13 am

hehe, on a side note mr coffee, I've actualy got things printed up and ready to handout if i get visitors. If you want, ill send you a copy of it. its an all Mormon referanced issues list. What makes it priceless is on the front of the envelope is the following picture.

Post by **_Mr. Coffee** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:23 am

Go for it, Sono. I might print up a few and randomly distribute them when I encounter free-range funditards in public.

Post by **_Mephitus** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:49 am

yeah, i always have at least one with me. I've handed out a few. Since the referances are all church materials, everyone I've given it to looks it over, gets a cross look, and then says they will have to double check them.

Post by **_OUT OF MY MISERY** » Mon Mar 19, 2007 2:31 pm

liz3564 wrote:1. Starbuck's
2. Coffee ice cream with Rum Cake for dessert
3. Green Tea
4. Democrats

For what it's worth, Misery, I think the list is great. If you can't laugh at yourself once in a while, you're going to live a pretty sad existance.

:)

thanks Liz. I was just trying to have a little fun and meant no harm. Did you see how many views this thread has had so far over 600?